Tag: humor

Tenement Rules

I was on community service this week. I call it community service but it’s in fact a chore wheel where the six flats in the tenement take turns in cleaning the common areas. I hate doing it more than I reasonably should. There’s no logic in my thinking, still, I can’t help telling myself, as

Continue reading

I’ve Been Actively Anti-OCD Today

It’s not often that I try to go against my OCD. After all, I have more urgent issues to struggle with. But when I do go anti-OCD, it’s in the weirdest ways. You’d never believe what one can OCD about. For example, a computer game. The only game I ever purchased is Age of Empires.

Continue reading

Making the World a Better Place

Because that’s what you say in tech, right? I’ve always wanted to be a software tester. (Always means ever since I got sense and shifted my flaming passion for Scottish Literature—why, yes, Scotland has a literature—to all things tech. After all, it is a truth universally acknowledged that code is poetry.) If you’re, like me, deeply

Continue reading

Sorry about the Silence

I haven’t been around for a while. (Stating the obvious.) I’ve been busy busting my ass working like my life depended on it (it sort of does). It’s not that I have a history of overwork and psych ward incarceration (I do). So, to make up for it, I’ve penned a terrible pseudo-poem. I’ve been

Continue reading

What D. H. Lawrence (and My Granny) Said

We’ve got to live, no matter how many skies have fallen. I repeat to myself this D. H. Lawrence quote often. Several times a day, whenever a new sky falls. And skies don’t fall in a good way. Which reminds me of my grandmother, who had a peculiar saying. She probably didn’t invent it, but

Continue reading

I Know a Person Who Knows a Person

Today I woke up alright. That scared me a bit because I thought for a moment I was dead. I wasn’t dead but as the day progressed, I wish I were. After much deliberation, as my best friend aka anxiety got the better of me, I went to pop a Lexaurin. There was an empty

Continue reading

The (Dis)contents of My Body

Don’t be afraid, I’m not going to talk about my bowels. At least, not specifically and not in graphic detail. However, I had the chance for the first time to step on a smart bathroom scale which, besides your weight, displays the percentages of water, fat and muscle in your body. I was pretty surprised

Continue reading

The C-Word Strikes Again

Some time ago, when I was in the supermarket, I noticed there were Christmas sweets conspicuously blocking the centre of the main aisle. I thought it strange, wondering if that was last year’s stock that they forgot to put down. Then, as I was leaving the place, I overheard some people discussing the C-word. Christmas.

Continue reading

I’ll Be a TV Star (No, Seriously)

Yesterday I was at a career fair. I didn’t go looking for a career, I’m currently looking for a will to live, and I don’t want to be looking for too many things at once. I was actually hired to help hopeful job hunters with their CVs. Everyone needs help with their CV because no

Continue reading