Tag: humor

Socially Awkward Is Just a Nice Word for Incompetent

I’m socially anxious and therefore socially awkward by default. But when I’m feeling low, awkward doesn’t come anywhere close to adequately describing my social interactions. Totally incompetent is a much more fitting expression here. Today it’s been one of these days. I thought a trip to the supermarket would cheer me up—because of Oreos. I always reward

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I’ve Been Panicking over a Cat Toy (Seriously)

I’m overworked. No, really, I’m always overworked but now I’m acutely overworked. That’s why I thought that before resuming work, I could grab a blogging break. Not a break from blogging but a break to blog. You know, so I could feel guilty afterwards for not having been working. Overwork is an awesome way to

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A Quiet Day: An Apocalypse Is Impending

It’s been such a wonderfully quiet day. No one called me, no one mailed me, no one came banging at my door in the misled belief that when I’m the concierge, I can set their problems and the world to rights. Only the cat has been disturbing me. She’s excited I didn’t leave her forever

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Some Random Reasons to Stay Alive

To take a break from contemplating suicide, I thought I’d brainstorm some ideas to stay alive instead. That’s my notion of testing the power of positive psychology. I believe I’m doing it right, theoretically, but really, I’m not feeling it. Let’s go through the exercise though. Here’s a bunch of random reasons why avoid suicide.

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My Translating Trick (Which Doesn’t Work)

When I’m translating and come across a specific term not listed in a general dictionary, I use Wikipedia. The same Wikipedia that I would tell my students never to use (or should they still feel the compulsion, to limit this activity to the privacy of their home, much like masturbation). I input the term in

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What I Was Doing When I Couldn’t Sleep

I have bouts of insomnia alternated by bouts of sleepomania. I don’t sleep when I’m too stressed out and I sleep all the time when I’m too stressed out. Yes, I’m aware it’s the same thing, it depends on what kind of stressed out exactly I am at the moment. Right now, I’m the kind

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Why the Nuthouse Was My Best Holiday Ever

These days it’s the first anniversary of my nuthouse staycation. Despite the bad publicity these institutions suffer, my experience was that of the best holiday I ever had. There are so many reasons. You’ll never have more you-time. There was an obligatory programme to take part at for most of the day, but it was

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Wot I Saw Wednesday: Woke Up Like Dis

Michael came up with a neat idea of shooting something you saw today, posting it and explaining what happened. I’m in for any and all challenges, except I saw nothing and said nothing. I woke up two hours before my scheduled wake-up time and was appropriately grumpy about it. I shot myself. See below. One

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My Cat Is Trying to Kill Me in Unexpected Ways

Cats are generally deemed to be plotting the early demise of their owners. I don’t think they have it well thought-through because procuring a new owner might present a problem. It doesn’t make sense for the cat to dispose of the human, unless the cat wants to feast on the dead body. But cats don’t

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The Noise in the House in the Night

I’m waiting for my bedtime and not really up to anything. So I penned a poem (so-called). I was just listening. In the middle of the night (but not midnight) The laptop is humming The old heater is crackling (but not heating properly) The cat isn’t purring (she doesn’t care she should for my poem)

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