Tag: comedy

My Cat Is Trying to Kill Me in Unexpected Ways

Cats are generally deemed to be plotting the early demise of their owners. I don’t think they have it well thought-through because procuring a new owner might present a problem. It doesn’t make sense for the cat to dispose of the human, unless the cat wants to feast on the dead body. But cats don’t

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You Need to Know What I’ve Been Up To

I’m so kidding. First, you naturally don’t need to know what I’ve been up to, and second, I haven’t even been up to anything in particular. The following uneventful events have happened: I can now break down an AR45. This is ironic because I’m pacifist. I learned this very dubious skill when translating a manual on

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Unhelpful Conversations with Myself

I have a number of selves. It doesn’t particularly bother me but my psych says something about mixed personality disorder. As long as he is pleased with himself—I guess it’s his job to call me names. He calls me the wrong names though. I’d expect more of an educated person. He insists on addressing me

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How to Take the Worst Photos Ever

I specialise at taking bad photos. Scratch it. I specialise at taking the worst photos ever. Since the internet is full of how-to articles on taking better photos, I thought I’d contribute with my valuable experience of how to take worse photos. And since I recently blogged an anti-recipe, let’s continue with an anti-manual. Taking photos that suck something

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Shit I Carry in My Handbag

I used the word shit in the post title. I wonder if there will be repercussions. Will I get reported as a threat to society? I’m terrified so say anything these days because I never know what I’m allowed to say to keep it politically correct, gender neutral, family friendly and whatnot. But when thinking of pretty

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Finding Everyday Inspiration: Czech Turkish Coffee Recipe

Part of WordPress’s writing course Finding Everyday Inspiration. I’m still finding everyday inspiration. Or rather, looking for it and not finding it. Here’s where my readers’ suggestions come in (cheers to you, guys!). I asked what to write about and I’m still shocked that anyone bothered to advise. Actually, it looks like everyone bothered to advise!

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My Corkscrew Got Screwed Up; or, The Worst Christmas Ever

A day before Christmas, something terrible had happened. My corkscrew got screwed – in a bad way – it broke into two pieces as I was diligently applying it to a bottle. I was left in an even worse way, with the prospect of holiday without wine. Fortunately, there was still slivovitz. A few days

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Weird Czech Seasonal Traditions; or, Carp in the Bathtub

Unless you’re Czech, you’ll be surprised to find that we Czechs have one of the weirdest sets of Christmas traditions ever. They range from tampering with dangerous chemicals (lead pouring), through animal cruelty (carp in the bathtub), to becoming a Christian for one day (atheists attending the midnight mass). Preparations for Day C aka Christmas

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Fun with Depression; or, It’s Not like I’m Depressed

I’ve been treated for clinical depression forever, but I try not to be too depressed about it. After all, (s)he’s my best friend who will stay with me until death or dedicated mediation do us part. Either despite to or owing to my condition, I hate psychiatrists. I believe our feelings are mutual, hence my

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