WordPress Reinvents Gutenberg and I Can’t—

WordPress invented the printing press for the post-printing age. They called it Gutenberg, thus positively impacting people’s factual knowledge in the post-factual age, while adversely impacting search trends on Google. Every idiot is searching for keyword Gutenberg and the more enlightened ones for phrase whats the difference between gutenberg and hewlett packard. Apart from circa half a millennium, none.

As for me, who was brought up at the height of the trivia age (aka let’s-see-how-much-encyclopaedic-facts-we-can-input-in-a-schoolkid’s-head-before-it-implodes age), I have a more interesting question. What’s the difference between Gutenberg à la WordPress and Shakespeare? Apart from a few random centuries, none. Both are much ado about nothing. Also, I tend to disapprove of both of them, while everyone else seems to be shitting themselves with enthusiasm, and I’m thinking what the heck I’m missing.

What is this thing, then, this Gutenberg by WordPress? Well. Since we’re on the literary note, let me whip up a simile (worry not, that’s the shit that is easier than the metaphor, or even the oxymoron). Just as WordPress allows you to make a website without actually knowing how to code, so Gutenberg allows you to produce content without knowing how to write. Okay. I might be exaggerating, but not much. Gutenberg is a kind of an upgraded visual editor. Like Word is an upgraded Notepad.

IMG_20180607_164114
This may or may not be my make-up (see below for [ir]relevance)
I have literally (not to be confused with literary) no idea (I could just as well finish the sentence here, right?)—no idea what my problem with visual editors is. A childhood trauma, perhaps? Hardly, unless my traumatising encounters with MS Dos count. (To my schoolteacher of IT, who never graded me better than a B: Dude, wanna see my latest bit of JavaScript? Or my new CSS tricks? You know, I happen to be a coder now. So fuck you, in yer face. [Not literally, please.])

I love new stuff and shit that makes other shit easier. I’m not the fashionable weirdo who bakes her own bread though she can buy it courtesy of the supermarket. I suspect I’ve had too much experience with visual editors not doing their one job and me ending up just coding the job, which, as it happened, was more efficient on all fronts. Whenever I hear visual builder, I’m getting measles. I’m kidding. I’m not getting measles at any time because my mother wasn’t a militant bio-mother, so I’m fully vaccinated.

I’m not sure whether the vaccine is the reason I’m semi-autistic. Maybe I was born with it. Maybe it’s Maybelline. It could be Rimmel, too. But not Sephora. I’m not a Sephora person. I know a person who is a Sephora person, which is why I researched what the fuck. It appears that Sephora sells overpriced make-up to those dumb enough to buy it. Which didn’t really answer my what the fuck question. I wear make-up once a week at most (not coincidentally, it coincides with the equally rare occasions when I leave the flat), and so I’m still wearing the glossy red lip gloss I bought five years ago.

Glossy lip gloss is no more fashionable, I hear (and deem it irrelevant), but I no more like it. Trouble is, as is the case with all things you don’t like any more, that the product is bottomless. I assume it’s also past its expiry date; fortunately, I don’t believe in expiry dates. Nothing but propaganda. I shall keep on using and/or eating any expired thing until it manifests highly visible signs of mould which I evaluate as severe enough to justify throwing the shit out. Don’t even try to argue with me. See above for post-factual age. You’re welcome.

Advertisements

Author: Mara Eastern

I'm a sardonic blogger, snapper, scribbler and rhymer; a virtual space invader who indulges in cheerful negativism, morbid self-deprecation and bleak humour.

33 thoughts

    1. Well, that’s not my make-up but it could be, you never know! I was talking about the new editor but then I somehow strayed off point to somewhere — well, somewhere entirely off.

      Like

  1. I refuse to admit confusion or to a liking for red lip gloss, though I suspect it makes you look rosy around the lips, for to do so would be admitting you are smarter than me so I shall live my delusional life denying such a fact…lol….I have had measles too, yes I come from the pre-vaccine age, all spotty with an irresistible urge to scratch.

    Like

    1. Your comments always put a smile on my ugly unsmiling face. I love your strategy, way to go! You’ve had measles? Oh my… I’m very glad I was vaccinated and didn’t have to get these nasty diseases. I had a teacher who had had palsy and ended up with contorted hands. She was just a bit older than me. Ugh.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. If truth be known I had all the childhood diseases, yes I am that old…on another matter, as I have never seen your face your description as ugly and unsmiling is a purely subjective view…so I shall reserve my opinion on that matter….as you know beauty is all in the eye of the beholder…..take care…

        Like

  2. Everytime there’s a change to WP, I start to freak a bit. On makeup, I like makeup. Not over the top kind but enough to hide the freak that is dark circles and a face that needs a mask. Sephora does sell makeup that costs quite a bit…to be honest I’ve found things there they work for me. I so want to love Maybelline because of my name but the only product I like from the brand is their red lip crayon.

    Like

    1. I’m starting to grow restless over Gutenberg too, it’s hugely publicised and so far, nothing is happening. I might have some use for it, after all, but I don’t think I’ll be a super fan.

      Sephora works for you? Good then, go for it by all means! I admit I’ve never been inside one of their shops, I did a theoretical research only and decided it wasn’t a fit for my purpose.

      Maybelline is named for you! How great is is 😉 I hear Maybelline and Rimmel are among the best affordable drug store brands and their stuff works fine for me. Though I can’t wait to use up my ages old products finally and get some new ones.

      By the way, Maybelline has awesome nail polishes: they last forever without chipping or peeling. The perfect polish for lazy people. Me.

      Like

      1. Guternberg seems to be rolling out to WP.org right now…maybe it will come around this way at some point. Guternberg reminds me of the Guternberg press, which I studied at university.

        The Sephora brand itself doesn’t seem to work too well for me, but the other brands at Sephora do. I really, really, wished more Maybelline products worked for me. Aside from their lips, I don’t mind their brow and eye liners 😀 Good luck with getting new ones when you finish your current collection. I’m sure it will be exciting for you when the time comes 😀😀

        Like

        1. Yep, Gutenberg for self-hosted sites is now available as a plugin. I installed it on one site I’m working on (for work) but haven’t used it yet. Doesn’t look as terrible as I had feared though.

          Also, we must stop talking about make-up because now I keep on stopping by make-up shelves though I don’t need anything really and browse with sheer wonder at the new products that appeared within the past few years when I wasn’t buying any make-up because I was using my old supplies. I’m sorely tempted to throw all the old shit out.

          Like

          1. It’s a matter of time before work will force you to use the new one…

            We really must stop talking about make-up because I had a foundation sample and love it and might go and buy it tomorrow. You know, makeup expires after a couple of years so…maybe go and get some new samples XD

            Liked by 1 person

  3. Nice stream-of-consciousness post 🙂 I had to google “wordpress gutenberg” too, because I didn’t see any change in my editor, haha. Is it only for the self-hosted sites? By the way, I have never shared enthusiasm for Shakespeare either and tried to avoid all seminars about it at the uni 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep, this post was an exercise in stream of consciousness — not a deliberate one, I just somehow forgot what I was writing about in the middle of the post 😉 The new editor should be available in near future for WP-hosted sites and it is available for self-hosted sites already (I hear, I didn’t try it). Shakespeare is so weird: he might be great, but I never got him and never appreciated him, despite my PhD in English literature 😮 The guy doesn’t resonate with me.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I don’t like Shakespeare either. I also like drugstore cosmetics. They work fine. Great post. I’m glad it moved from coding to makeup. I understand makeup.

    Like

    1. Oh, welcome to the Shakespeare-hating team 😉 Well, I don’t hate him, of course, just don’t appreciate the guy.

      My post is all over the place, so I’m glad you managed to read through my free associations!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I haven’t got Gutenberg yet. Checked last night. I don’t know what it is, but I almost get the impression it’s something like those editors in Wix or whatever. Where you drag stuff around?! I don’t like that, so we’ll see whether Gutenberg will be something I love to hate.

    I didn’t know Sephora was a brand in itself. I went to a Sephora store once — they had one in Quebec City, so I checked it out two years ago. It was like a supermarket for make–up. You got a cart or a basket, went around and picked out from the shelves what you wanted … most high-end brand were represented. I wasn’t all that interested, so I could’ve missed their own brand.

    Like

    1. Yes, it is something like Wix. I hated Gutenberg to start with, yet I decided to give it a try before dismissing it — downloaded the plugin for one of my self-hosted sites for work, but haven’t got down to trying it yet.

      I still have mixed feelings about Gutenberg. They say it revolutionises/democratises publishing. Because now everyone can make a website. Well, sure, but only because everyone can doesn’t mean that everyone should. I’m thinking from a business perspective: people might start to believe they can make a fully functioning site themselves and might not be willing to pay professionals to do it for them. Except the professional knows what they’re doing. They should, at least.

      Anyway. Sephora as a make-up supermarket, thank you for this image, I’ve never been inside so I didn’t know, but I somehow got the feeling that it’s absolutely not for me. Confirmed. That’s not for me.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. From a non-business-perspective I can’t see any reason why I should have a website. Twenty years ago, though, I was super excited because I was able to write enough HTML to put a .GIF of a mallard online ~ROFL~ … didn’t take much to amuse me! Today, I couldn’t come up with any reason why. I do want to write in my blog, but I think I write too much by hand, so my mind is blank when it comes to the blog.

        With regards to Sephora; price-wise I think they were lower on the high-end brands.

        Like

        1. LOL, I’m vividly imagining your 1990s mallard GIF 😀 It’s pretty empowering, to be able to do something. I’m of course still fascinated by code but I also write longhand, which I started when I realised I had difficulty doing that. I almost forgot how to write (as opposed to type) the letters…

          Like

          1. I still have him … the mallard 🙂 I will post him next time, in the blog. I write longhand every day, but I never get satisfied with my handwriting. Okay … it’s a lot better than two years ago.

            Like

          2. Hmm, the more I write longhand, the more ugly my handwriting gets, actually. I’m not trying to do calligraphy, just to write legibly. That’s surprisingly difficult.

            Like

  6. I’ve been using Guttenpuffn on a test site for a while and it is still very easy to mess up – I mean mess up in small, irritating ways. Click here and nothing seems to happen. Oh yes, I have to highlight this bit first and then click and then I see the choices. Sometimes that doesn’t work as expected, either.

    But it is coming to WordPress core for self-hosted sites. So the giant democratic ‘we’ have to get used to using it.

    When I first started using it I wondered what problem Guttenpuffn was designed to solve (multiple columns was the example that Matt Mullenweg mentioned a few times) – but if anyone on the team thought it was going to democratise things because people new to WP would take to it because it is so easy – Well they haven’t clicked around enough.

    Democratising – ugh (the word itself, not its intent). It’s part of the illusion of choice. Estee Lauder and L’Oreal own most of the makeup companies, as my wife told me once. Estee Lauder owns Clinique, Lancome, MAC, Dior, Sephora, Clarins, Smashbox, Bumble and Bumble…

    Like

    1. I have quite a similar experience with Gutenberg. That is, not a great one. I find the interface very user unfriendly. And basically in each block I created, I needed to switch to HTML to fine-tune. So, I remain unconvinced.

      Well, democracy, that’s a hard one. Of course it’s a lovely concept, but so is socialism. Neither of them is working that great. At least for me.

      Like

        1. Oh dear. It’s starting to get overwhelming… I set out to follow the Gutenberg News blog but they post their news too often for me to follow it really. I clearly suck as an early adopter.

          Like

Say what?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.