Today I woke up alright. That scared me a bit because I thought for a moment I was dead. I wasn’t dead but as the day progressed, I wish I were. After much deliberation, as my best friend aka anxiety got the better of me, I went to pop a Lexaurin. There was an empty box in the cabinet. Fuck. I’ve run out.
As I was freaking out, a friend texted me whether I wanted to go out tonight. I didn’t want to, so I texted her back that I wanted to (sic). I also mentioned I was having a minor crisis, to put it mildly, because I was out of Lexaurin, my life pill. My dear and beloved friend asked how many pills I wanted. I wondered why she was asking but said I needed two or three until I get a new prescription on Tuesday.
Several hours later, said friend said we needed to cancel our plans because no one else could go, so it would be only two of us and no one to stay sober and drive us home. However, she went on, she’d be stopping by my house and bringing me some Lexaurin. I didn’t ask. I just accepted the gifts of the universe. Or, rather, the gifts of my friend’s granddad, from whom she nicked the pills.
I think I’m in love with my friend. A shame she’s not gay. I’m not gay either, but you know, extraordinary times… Also, should anyone ask, I deny everything, I saw nothing and say nothing.