Came Home from a Looong Trip and Am Orgiastic

I just arrived home after being the whole day on the go. That’s standard practice for most people, but for me, it’s an emergency situation. I fucking hate to go anywhere, the more so that it typically involves getting up at my usual bed time. I live in the middle of nowhere, so it takes a lot of manoeuvring to use the public transport to get somewhere.

Today I got up at the usual 4 AM and travelled to the other end of the country on a business trip. It was traumatising on so many levels. There was travel. There were people. There was social interaction. There was a very limited number of smoking breaks. I had to be constantly on the guard to appear competent and interested, or at least not asleep.

My mouth still hurts from my prolonged pretence of a forthcoming smile. I don’t usually smile. When I’m genuinely amused, I lift one corner of the mouth (it’s too much effort to lift both) and chuckle spasmodically. Also, my bum hurts because I’ve been sitting on my sitting bones the whole day. I guess that would be less of a problem if I had body fat, but I don’t have such a thing.

My hand isn’t jaundiced or spotted. Wrong choice of filter.

Based on the overwhelming impressions of today, I have come to several conclusions (which I suspected before, so it only confirms my darkest preconceptions):

  • People are so fucking exhausting.
  • Business meetings are perfectly useless.
  • People don’t respect me.

As to the last point, it may have several explanations. I’m nervous, unassertive, quiet and always have a guilty face like I just stole your kitten. Also, people seem to think I’m much younger than I am. This isn’t as flattering as rather frustrating because they tend to treat me condescendingly. Finally, when in more formal environments, people apparently have issues with my appearance, which is only very mildly extravagant. (I mean, sure, I have half my head shaved, but I was wearing a fucking blouse & blazer, all business like and shit.)

I was dealing with one middle-aged and one elderly lady today. The middle-aged lady kept on addressing the other woman politely as doctor. Both women addressed me in unison with my first name. I think I took offence. The doctor lady has a lesser degree than I do, she only has a PhDr (means she just reworked her MA thesis), while I have a greater degree, PhD (means I studied extra three years plus wrote a dissertation and took an exam). But I didn’t get to be addressed as doctor. What’s wrong with you people? Either let’s call everyone their first names or let’s address everyone with their titles. Makes sense, no?

Finally, fuck. I’m orgiastically happy to be back home.

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Author: Mara Eastern

I'm a sardonic blogger, snapper, scribbler and rhymer; a virtual space invader who indulges in cheerful negativism, morbid self-deprecation and bleak humour.

31 thoughts

  1. I did go and look up the meaning of ‘orgiastically’ and was relieved, I think to discover its meaning….though being ‘orgiastic’ on your own is an interesting concept…lol…..but I do agree people can be weird to deal with…..and I think we should be addressed by our first names though I find many of my students from the past find that difficult, but in the situation you described if the meetings were formal then you should have been addressed as Dr…..that is a courtesy I would think….glad you made it thru your day Dr ‘Mara’…

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    1. I’m sorry I sent you out googling. I invented the word. And I assure you one can get into this condition all alone 😂

      Politeness customs vary from country to country of course. Here, though, we are very formal and if a person has an academic title, they should be addressed with it. First names are only for friends or for American style environments, like at the English department where I studied and taught.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Don’t apologise for me and google, its great going in search of a new word….one never knows what one might find….and when we have coffee I shall refer to you as Doc and me well….whatever comes to mind at the time…lol

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  2. I didn’t know you carry a degree, how awesome! It does sound a bit disrespectful. I hope you made eye contact with your business people. ❤️

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  3. I agree that people are exhausting and meetings are useless. And sometimes people are useless and meetings are exhausting. Wait a minute! People and meetings are both! Mara–I would have loved if you’d have told them to straighten up, that you are a PhD. Oh, yes. You were saying something about my shaved head, PhDr? Haha!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh my gosh, yes! My supervisor is all about the ‘team’ mentality, but she knows I so like working by myself. Sure, I will work with the team…by myself, thank you very much.

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  4. This really got me angry at those people. I should not reignite the emotions of that day, as you may have properly buried the memory where it belongs, but I cannot avoid saying that they were extremely condescending and disrespectful. If people only would stop judging others by their looks, they would surely stop creating conflicts and missing opportunities.
    Lois is so right, meetings are invariably useless; people know of it, and go for making it even more useless with their unattentive, unprepared, unintelligent and non-committal attitudes.

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    1. Well, it was not a big deal really, but it did puzzle me and I didn’t feel very comfortable.

      I think it’s natural for people to judge by appearances, but it’s so wrong. I try to avoid doing this but I’m not always successful. I had a great advantage of being in the academia though, where you come across all kinds of people – the most brilliant professor I had looked literally like a homeless person. He was simply beyond such superficial ideas as combing his hair and getting new clothes occasionally.

      I’m not sure why in business people keep on doing meetings. So far I haven’t been at any meeting which would be useful. We must be doing something wrong here.

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      1. If you’re ok now, I feel better.

        Your professor reminded me of a colleague from work, who had two PhD titles and wanted to be called Dr. Dr. but I agreed only to double Dr.
        He was a wonderful person who however, showered once a week and happened to share a room with me.
        Monday’s were ok but by Friday he was disgustingly stinky. Little digression.

        Well, sometimes is part of the country culture, like here, where everyone has to be heard – egalitarian mentality – via meetings. The problem is that although they know that it only stalls decision making, they still do it.
        The other extreme is in business life, where everyone also knows, but does it anyways. Some follow courses, read expert advice on how to make effective meetings, but go back to the office and can’t change the ingrained habits of others. So, meetings happen.

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        1. Well, some elementary attention to hygiene should be a matter of course even for double docs… We need to keep in mind there are other people around us.

          Your concept of egalitarian mentality realised via meetings is brilliantly explained – and so true. I’m not sure meetings can be made more effective. They seem to be ineffective by their very definition. It’s just talking about work instead of doing the work. It’s not that I have an alternative solution.

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  5. So … you don’t like to travel. I remember you took a trip to Belgium a few years back. I would’ve liked to hear more about that one 😉 I don’t like to travel either — it’s the actual act of travelling I dislike — I might like to go to some other place, though. Each time, I promise myself ‘this was the last time … never again’, but I keep breaking it. Otherwise I could never go back home to visit.

    You still have half your head shaved?! I thought that was a temporary … thing. When you first told us about that, I tried to envision what you might look like. The very SAME day, I saw a woman outside the bank, she had really long hair, and half her head was shaved.

    With regards to the business meeting, I’d feel exactly the same way. I’m not much of a people person. The titles and all that stuff Sweden did away with in the 60s [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Du-reformen], but I’ve worked for years at a German company so I got used to the titles. I don’t have any letters after my name, but my husband has a few.

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    1. Ha, it’s similar with me, I hate the act of travelling, though I don’t mind seeing new places. (And then being promptly teleported home.) Yep, I’ve been to Brussels, and also Amsterdam in one go, which I enjoyed far more. I blogged about it back then. The Brussels peeing boy was a huge disappointment in particular. Such a tiny inconsequential statue, I didn’t get what the big deal was. I’m clearly missing something.

      I still have half my head shaved. I thought it would be just a phase, but I’m still loving it. Well, you have my real name somewhere, so if you can be bothered to Google, you’ll sure find some photos of how it looks like on me 🙂

      Germans are even more crazy about titles than Czechs, as I hear from you. Still, when someone here has a title, it’s considered rude to address them Mr/Ms rather than with the title. Especially in academia. I use my titles because many people for some reasons believe that people with titles are more competent. It also gets you better approach (not treatment but attitude) in hospitals. So why not take advantage!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I remember the blogs. It was merely the underlying reason for the trip I was curious about. Heh! 😉

        Yes! I found one picture! Funny, I would never have thought of googling … in any event; it didn’t look bad at all. Guess I was imagining something different … I don’t know.

        With regards to titles, that phenomenon probably exists everywhere — more or less pronounced, though. It was a long time ago I worked with the Germans; mid 80s. I’m even on a first name basis with my pen dealer there now LOL

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        1. Ah, I see! Well, the underlying reason for my going to Brussels was nice while it lasted, as they say. If that answers your question…

          You found one picture of my head only? Hmm, I need to rethinking my online presence strategy 😀

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