To take a break from contemplating suicide, I thought I’d brainstorm some ideas to stay alive instead. That’s my notion of testing the power of positive psychology. I believe I’m doing it right, theoretically, but really, I’m not feeling it. Let’s go through the exercise though. Here’s a bunch of random reasons why avoid suicide.

  • People around me would be upset. (They say so, but they might only say so because it’s the right thing to say. They can’t very well tell me to go ahead and risk that I’ll take the advice.)
  • The tenants after me would have trouble cleaning. (I have no previous experience but I suspect that no matter how you do it, it’s bound to be messy. I certainly wouldn’t leave the flat for the occasion, I mean, one step at a time.)
  • The life you save might (not) be your own. (I was told I might live to make someone’s life less miserable. That’s doubtful. I can’t envision how I would help anyone else when I can’t help myself. But let’s keep the option open.)

Time’s ticking

  • I might live to accomplish something useful. (I don’t think so. I’m accomplishing things all the time but I have the unique skill of accomplishing shit that is ultimately perfectly useless.)
  • Other people have it worse, so I should be grateful. (Yeah, sure, but what if I’m not? How do you do grateful? Are there some exercises or something? Besides a gratitude journal, which I’m already keeping, and which clearly isn’t doing the trick.)
  • The cat would be sad. (This is actually legit. The cat would be pissed off and upset in equal proportions. This is probably it. I’d better stay alive because I have responsibility for the cat.)

Well, that didn’t go as expected. Apparently, I have one solid reason to live: the cat. That’s slightly disappointing, but I guess there are worse things and the cat and I should have about half a dozen of good years ahead. Provided that things go well (that is, not worse than the usual bad). What a cheerful post, isn’t it? With a happy ending though! (*Rainbows atop which unicorns are copulating to populate the earth manifest themselves in the sky.*)

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Posted by Mara Eastern

I'm a sardonic blogger, snapper, scribbler and rhymer; a virtual space invader who indulges in cheerful negativism, morbid self-deprecation and bleak humour.

15 Comments

  1. Ah, you see how no one has liked this so far? Is Mara serious? Only the cat would miss her? Oh, that’s sad. Well, I would miss you, too. See that’s two so far. Stay on, girl. No one does sardonic and snappy quite like you. Now, those copulating unicorns have just got to stop…..

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    1. Hahaha, thank you for your hilarious and uplifting comment, I love it! That was an exercise in positive thinking that didn’t go too well. Whatever. Thank you for your support despite my crappy post!

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  2. The cat and I would miss you -ooops, and loisajay. That’s 3 which is a 200% increase. Impressive by any standard. i like unicorns and rainbows. We should have lots ‘n lots of them all over the place!

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    1. Oh, the numbers are looking up! This is good.

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      1. ๐Ÿ˜€ You convinced me!

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    2. Awww, thank you for your lovely comment! You’re right. I should cheer up. Like the unicorns ๐Ÿ˜€

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  3. I would miss you. Stay with me.

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    1. Alright, since you’re asking so nicely ๐Ÿ˜‰

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      1. โค๏ธ

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  4. Realizing this is quite insignificant, I’d miss your posts and photos. Since I’m an erratic Reader on WP, that isn’t very helpful, but it is true.

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    1. It is not insignificant, it means the world to me actually. Thank you for your kind words! And sorry about this somewhat depressing post, sometimes I’m just feeling a bit low and it shows, I guess. Here’s to happy blogging instead!

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      1. Do not apologize for depressing posts: it is better to put your feelings into words and get them out there, in my personal opinion. Also, your wonderful sense of the ridiculous usually comes through in your posts.

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        1. It’s true, sometimes it’s better to write your heart out, it’s therapeutic ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you for bearing with me!

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