Today, I woke up hot. Not sexy hot (because I’m always that — wishful positive thinking), but hot hot. If you’ve been so unfortunate and bored as to follow my complaints about malfunctioning radiators, you’ll be surprised to hear this. I was surprised to feel this. At first, I thought I’ve grown tough and got used to being constantly at the brink of dying of exposure.

So I hopped off to take my morning shower, positively beaming with hotness, and as I reached for my towel, I burnt my hand on the radiator. This made me and the cat jump. What’s just happened? How has the radiator that was ice-cold like my heart yesterday become as boiling as my brain today? Have I taken one pill too many? Have I slept through winter and is it summer again?

It remains a mystery. The most logical explanation is that the radiator man who failed to come yesterday because he was playing Godot fixed my radiator remotely. I know it doesn’t make sense. If you have a more reasonable explanation, go ahead and tell me. Also, if you’ve sent me blankets, I’m good now. Instead, you can send thongs. If thongs are flip-flops for you, please send me European size 38, smart look. If thongs are panties for you, please give me size XS, cute look. Thank you.

Here’s the ultimate proof that I’m hot. I was practising my morning yoga barefoot. I am aware that yoga shall always be practised barefoot, but that doesn’t bar me from wearing toeless socks when it’s cold.

Advertisements

Posted by Mara Eastern

I'm a sardonic blogger, snapper, scribbler and rhymer; a virtual space invader who indulges in cheerful negativism, morbid self-deprecation and bleak humour.

14 Comments

  1. I’ll send you a set of thongs. Glad the heat is back!

    Like

    Reply

    1. Haha, thank you! Yep, it’s quite nicely warm here now, much better!

      Like

      Reply

  2. Hot is a relative term for me.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Everything is relative, isn’t it!

      Like

      Reply

  3. Well, there’s that theory out the window…re hotness…lol…I always have a laugh when people talk about flip flops…what a weird name when a pair of thongs seems much simpler….anyway I hope your heating issues are resolved soon….I think you are too young to be having hot flushes…

    Like

    Reply

    1. Hmm, I prefer the word flip flops for the footwear, it’s so onomatopoeic and I instantly picture the right thing!

      No, I’m not having hot flushes, not ever. I have cold flushes though, does it count?

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. Cold flushes I imagine are the ones you have when the heater stops working…
        In Australia thongs are what you wear on your feet and undies on your bum…

        Like

        Reply

        1. Exactly. Cold flushes is what I’m getting all the time. I know that for Aussies, thongs are footwear, but it’s so weird!

          Liked by 1 person

          Reply

          1. Says so much about us doesn’t it…

            Liked by 1 person

  4. I guess you have saved the call out fee from the plumber at least 😀

    Like

    Reply

    1. Yes, that’s the good thing about it! Thanks for stopping by 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  5. You’re making me remember how miserable I was to live in the cold and thusly move to Florida. I will never again, and rarely if ever, complain of the heat. Enjoy the warmth!

    Like

    Reply

    1. Florida is the place to live! So let’s both enjoy what we have: you have the heat, we have seasons here…

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. We have seasons too. It is finally cooling off here!

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

Say what?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s