I’m so kidding. First, you naturally don’t need to know what I’ve been up to, and second, I haven’t even been up to anything in particular. The following uneventful events have happened:

  • I can now break down an AR45. This is ironic because I’m pacifist. I learned this very dubious skill when translating a manual on how to disassemble an AR45. Of course, in an ideal world, I’d never be translating this because I don’t have a clue about the subject. Also, in an ideal world, I’d reject this job on moral grounds. In the real world, though, my bills don’t give a shit about my high moral ground. Shoot me.
  • I’ve been freezing my ass offLiterally. I probably shouldn’t wear thongs in winter. I don’t mean flip flops. But I want to have nice panties in case of my sudden decease. I’ve already drafted a parting note saying, I told you so. I’ve set up a heater next to my heater (see picture) and keep both at full blast. The mounted heater on the wall isn’t heating, bastard, because it’s probably broken and I’m too anxious to call service. Serve me right.

Double heating

  • I can’t remember when I last left the flat. I haven’t been out forever. Partly because of anxiety (when in doubt, blame it on anxiety) and partly because of the fucking freezing rainy weather. I’ve crafted a voodoo doll of the weatherman and use it as a pincushion. The weather forecast keeps on forecasting mayhem for in(de)finitely.
  • I’ve been getting high on sleeping pills. A sleeping pill is probably not your first go-to option for getting high. It works wondrously for me though. I carelessly took the pill before my evening bathroom routine instead of after, and while I was swaying around so I could hardly find the bed, I had such a great laugh. Don’t ask me what I was laughing at. Probably myself. I’m hilarious, right?
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Posted by Mara Eastern

I'm a sardonic blogger, snapper, scribbler and rhymer; a virtual space invader who indulges in cheerful negativism, morbid self-deprecation and bleak humour.

15 Comments

  1. Nothing wrong with a thong! Get out there, get some fresh air!

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    1. “Nothing wrong with a thong” should be a poem 😀 I did get out today and hope I won’t have to for a long time again.

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      1. Thongs are yummy. So you never go outside, or to a job or anything?

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        1. I work from home, so I don’t need to go out too much!

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  2. As we live on opposite sides of the globe, which is probably a good thing for you, lol, we are moving towards summer with already hot days upon us, not today, today looks a good one…but I do appreciate how uncomfortable the cold can be so rug up and stay warm…..as for sleeping pills, I try to avoid them as I find with me they zonk me out for half the next day no matter how small a dose I take….I once lived with a person, a woman with no sense of direction and who once got lost coming back from the toilet. It can be irritating.
    Thankfully you can laugh at yourself, can’t you? Well sort of I imagine….have a good day… ((warming hug)))

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    1. No, I think it’s actually stupid we live on the opposite sides of the globes, I’d so love to have coffee with you! You’d probably hate me, but anyway.

      I do envy you these days, when summer is coming for you.

      I used to be the kind of person who’d avoid all kinds of pills, but I’ve learned the hard way that I need my anti-depressants, plus sleeping pills if I intend to actually sleep. Without them, I just nap for a few hours and wake up too early and exhausted. Obviously, I should take the pills just before going to bed so as not to get lost on the way there! I totally get it when someone gets lost on the way from the toilet! So me.

      A (cold) hug to you! Sorry, can’t do warm these days…

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      1. Waking up at all hours of the night is common for me….my bladder seems to dictate my sleeping hours….so then I lie awake, read or play solitaire until I can sleep again….its irritating but I’ve learned that is how it is for me now days….so as they say, I don’t lose sleep over that…..
        As for having coffee, well I don’t drink any of that, I’m boring in that way, nor alcohol these days…..its all about age and infirmity…but one of these days when I get rich I’d love to go explore your part of the world…as for hating one another I think it may be more a matter of spending our time understanding each other….my English and yours may well be different…my US friends tell me I speak too quickly for them to understand me…..we may end up passing notes…lol

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        1. Haha, you’re right, we’d probably be passing notes because we wouldn’t understand each other’s accents 😀

          You’re quite admirable for putting up with interrupted sleep. I’m more cranky than usual when I don’t sleep well. I couldn’t do it for too long.

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          1. Sadly its a fact of life for me….two hours straight and I think I’m a champion…
            Accent? I have an accent? I can’t hear it…lol

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      2. PS these days any hug hot or cold is appreciated… ((hugs)) its warm here so that’s what you get…

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  3. You need to wear woolly socks to keep your toes warm. When they are warm, it spreads up to the rest of you 🙂 You must have a well stocked pantry to keep you and Ella going if you haven’t ventured out!

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    1. I do wear thick socks, plus thermal pants and shirt. Also, a little secret: I find out Tesco does home delivery in my area, so I sometimes use it to restock on groceries.

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      1. Ah! You got it all sorted 🙂

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  4. I have visions of all these things happening at the same time. Must be the same sleeping pills! 😀

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    1. Haha, that’s a cute way to say my post is rambling and chaotic! Nice to see you, btw!

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