Don’t Read the Urban Dictionary

16 comments

I’ve warned against the evil that is the Urban Dictionary before. Well, I told you not to go and read the definition of BBC, so what probably happened is that everyone promptly stopped reading my post and went to Google it. (If you didn’t, please raise your hand in the comments below. Also if you didn’t, just don’t. Not this one. It pretty much ruined my life and rendered me incapable of ever looking at BBC News the same.)

Since I don’t exercise what I preach, I recently turned to said dictionary to double-check on DILF (That’s comparatively safe to read, hence feel free to click the link provided—but wait! Only as long as you realise that this is not the kind of dictionary you’d want your kids or kittens to read and that it’s NSFW.) Don’t even ask me how I came up with DILF (and don’t dare ask me how I knew the meaning before checking it. I know things. I know terrible things, apparently.)

Okay, so since you’re asking so nicely, it all happened absolutely innocently when I was procrastinating on Instagram and was amusing myself with actually reading the profile blurbs of people out there. One of them included said abbreviation. Obviously, that inspired me (besides checking if the claim is correct) to delve head first into the depths of the Urban Dictionary to try to find if there’s a nice abbreviation I could use for my profile.

These cat paws are so relevant, read on!

There indeed are many abbreviations I could use but none of them is nice. Hey, Urban Dictionary, be gender fair! I want something sassy in my profile too! Alright, maybe I don’t, but I have no clue what I want, so whatever. The point of this free-writing exercise is that I found for myself a perfect definition. It’s a gem because it’s a fair definition of the cat lady!

A woman who is fond of cats so much that she decides to live her life with cats all around her than being with chauvinistic male. The catladies are independent women who know how to take care of their cats. They are proud, highly intellectual beings having a behavior resembling that of a cat itself.

I’m only slightly concerned that the definition seems to suggest that all males are chauvinists, but let’s not overthink it. It’s not like it’s the Oxford Dictionary (whose definition of the same phrase is, as could be expected of the classic dictionary, boringly unadventurous). So, being defined as a smartass catty lady is cool and I subscribe to it.

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16 comments on “Don’t Read the Urban Dictionary”

    1. You are very wise. I got what I deserved, I guess, because after I looked up a few things in this Urban but not urbane Dictionary, my search engine apparently remembered my preferences and is now throwing at me random definitions of pretty much anything I search. Scary. Except for the cat lady of course 😀

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  1. Oh, dear. My cats and I raise our paws….hands. Why yes, I am independent and highly intelligent. Aren’t all cat ladies alike? Yes, we are. Meow.

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    1. Yes, you’re right, cat ladies are probably all alike, though I might be stripped of the title if I don’t know better than look up things in this kind of dictionary 😀

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          1. It all depends on my mood – I have to be on the edge of mania for funny stuff, but I want to have a go, though the next few days are likely to be busy for me as we have a by election coming up.

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