Part of WordPress’s writing course Finding Everyday Inspiration.

It’s challenging to take part in a challenge when you’ve already taken your challenged part in every challenge. In other words, I’ve already been challenged to everything. In other other words, I’ve already written about everything. This includes today’s stale prompt, which is, If we were having coffee. To exterminate any potential bacteria and fungus in the stale coffee prompt, I’ll be having slivovitz instead.

If we were having slivovitz, I’d be more annoying than usual but that wouldn’t matter because we’d be having slivovitz.

If we were having slivovitz, I’d be complaining about my shitty life and punctuate my rant with the assertion that I’m not complaining. (I am aware of the irony.)

If we were continuing having slivovitz, I’d request that you compliment my hairdo, make-up, glasses, apparel and also my being a badass smartass.

If we were still having slivovitz, I’d produce fifty most recent pictures of my cat and demand that you praise her.

If we were having more slivovitz, I’d recite by heart several poems in several languages only because I can.

If we were having our last slivovitz, I’d reminisce about the communists and cry because a democratic revolution interfered before I could become a pioneer (the communist version of girl scouts).

If we were having slivovitz, we wouldn’t have slivovitz again for a very long time.

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Posted by Mara Eastern

I'm a sardonic blogger, snapper, scribbler and rhymer; a virtual space invader who indulges in cheerful negativism, morbid self-deprecation and bleak humour.

42 Comments

  1. I had to look up what that word means, I’d like to have a drink of it!

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    1. Oh, sorry, I forgot to explain what that is! It’s like vodka, basically, but more fruity.

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  2. You’re right, the prompts are a bit stale aren’t they? I’m trying to approach it differently each time. I guess that’s the hard part. Love your – show you 50 photos of my cat and demand that you tell me how gorgeous she is. Such a good mumma.

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    1. It is a shame that among those many courses offered, there isn’t much for advanced bloggers. There was one course on editing – but that’s what I do for a living, so I’m not keen on doing it on my blog too. Perhaps the challenge for us, as you say, is to approach the same old thing in a new way! Thank you for indulging my silly post 🙂

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      1. 😊😊 I am kind of doing that other course 🙂

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        1. Oh wow, you’re ambitious 😀 I think I’ll try Photography 2.0 when I’m done with this course.

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          1. I didn’t know there was a photo2.0. That’s cool! Yeah I’m not sure I’ll make it through the editing one….. but I’ll have the prompts and can work through them at my own pace.

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          2. It’s something like Photo 2.0, the link is here: https://dailypost.wordpress.com/blogging-university/#developing-eye-ii. For beginners again but at least it looks like something I haven’t done yet…

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          3. Aha. Ok. And it’s the same process as writing? You do it at your own pace?

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          4. Yes, exactly, all the courses are self-paced, you do what you like and when you like. It’s nice, but I miss the community support in the earlier courses.

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          5. Yeah that is a shame. The community is how we all found each other.

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          6. As Lucile commented somewhere, the universe is bringing us together now again 😀

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          7. I’m loving it.

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  3. I would have slovovitz with you. If only I knew what it was! But it’s more fun not knowing.

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    1. Hmm, I wonder if I should tell you or keep it a mystery 😀 Thank you for stopping by!

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  4. I noticed each sip/drink/glass of slivovitz made you bolder in your assertions…but I think the last one sums it all up…do I assume therefore that when heading towards a feeling of intoxication your smartassedness increases?

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    1. Your observation is very correct, that’s what I was going for 🙂 You’re a careful reader. Why, of course, the drunker one is, the smarter one thinks oneself!

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      1. So true…I knew a man who drunk could recite the longest of poems, sober you’d be lucky if he knew the opening line.

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        1. I remember the poems sober or drunk, but only in the latter case do I feel inclined to recite them 😀

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  5. I’d sit and have slivovitz with you any time. The more we had, hic, the better the shliv, hic, shlivo, hic, shovalitches would taste. Ella Bella would hic hic, awww, she’s so cute hic 🙂

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    1. Hahaha, your comment made my day, seriously! You’re hilarious. And cheers to you!

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      1. Hic – that shlopowhatsit shure packsh a ….. bunch !

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        1. I think you’re starting to speak Czech!

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          1. Ish dat wot ish it ?! ‘N I thout wash ze shl…shlo… u know wat I mean …..

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          2. I get you! Your sh- sounds are pretty authentic 😀

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  6. Slivovitz is similar to what they call palinca in Romania, isn’t it? It is a drink they fell in love with when I spent some time in that country back in 1993.

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    1. Exactly, that’s the same thing! I’m surprised you liked it, it’s an acquired taste 😉

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  7. I typed ‘they’ instead of ‘that I’, but, looking back at it, the error seems somehow apt. Everyone was drunk on the prospect of freedom and palinca back in those days.

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    1. Hmm, so “we” maybe?

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  8. I agree that these prompts are very stale. I am sure that, if we all put our minds and respective skill sets together, we could come up with a series of prompts that are far more challenging and provocative…

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    1. That would be awesome. We should collective apply for the job of WP editors 😀

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      1. Is this a serious proposal? If so, I’m up for it. My role would have to be that of ‘creative facilitator’ or something like that, since my tech skills are almost zero.

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        1. Haha, if that would be a serious proposal, you would seriously be the creative facilitator! I don’t think I’m ready to run any kind of challenge at the point really.

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  9. “If we were having slivovitz, I’d be more annoying than usual but that wouldn’t matter because we’d be having slivovitz” … I almost snorted my coffee 😀

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    1. Hope you’re ok! I should add a liability disclaimer to my site! I’m glad you enjoyed the post.

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      1. 🙂
        Maybe I should break out that bottle of slivovitz languishing in the back of my liquor cabinet 😉

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        1. Go for it! If you don’t like it as it is, you can put it in tea or coffee when it’s cold, that’s what I do.

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          1. Uh-oh … this has all the potential of a new vice 😉

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          2. Haha, as long as it tastes nice… 😀

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  10. If we were (finally) having slivovitz, I’d be agreeing that you’re the best badass smartass! Cheers to you.
    PS: these prompts make me sleep but I guess is because we’ve all been there before. It’s the basic course, after all.

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    1. Haha, you’re my kind of a drinking buddy! The prompts are basic, I expected a bit more of a challenge, but it’s free, it’s helping to write, so I’m not complaining really 🙂

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