Pills. Also, here’s the bloody tin foil I was looking for the other day!

I was doing more poorly than usual today, mental-health-wise. I took measures accordingly. First, against my better reasonable judgement, I took a day off. I am workoholic and I feel shitty, as in guilty, when I don’t work. Second, I did my usual natural anti-anxiety techniques: yoga, meditation and breathing exercises, relaxation music. Didn’t work well this time.

It wasn’t as much anxiety itself as the psychosomatic pain that accompanies it that bothered me most. My shoulder and neck were killing me. So, the last resort: I look Lexaurin. I only do this once or twice a month. It’s an addictive first-and-last-aid pill from the benzodiazepine family. You don’t want to overdo it with it.

The Lexaurin effect is funny:

  • After 5 mins:  Fuck, it’s not working, when will it work, I knew it, I’m getting addicted to it, and now it doesn’t work anymore, bloody hell.
  • After 15 mins: Hmm. The pain is actually better. So nice. It’s weird that I’m still shaking though, but okay, I take the deal.
  • After 30 mins. Aww. So fuzzy and warm and soft and mellow and slightly unreal. I mean, I feel no pain whatsoever. How awesome is it? I just want to lie down, dissolve and die from happiness.

Also, don’t mind me. I’m typing this intoxicated (after 2 hours from Lexaurin). And, since it’s my day off, I’m spending it blogging. Sorry about the flood of shitty posts. Oh, and sorry about the language.

 

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Posted by Mara Eastern

I'm a sardonic blogger, snapper, scribbler and rhymer; a virtual space invader who indulges in cheerful negativism, morbid self-deprecation and bleak humour.

20 Comments

  1. So long as it works as you’d be hoping for when its a last resort sort of drug….so I hope the day off has settled well with you…..I know when I was sick a week or so ago the thought of writing anything was only making me feel worse so having time off sat with me ok…..maybe tomorrow work will appear more appealing to you.

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    1. Your words are wise, as ever. After a break, even work looks more appealing. Especially when it’s not a sick break but a deliberate day off. It made me good for sure.

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  2. I’ve been enjoying your flood of shitty posts very much Mara! And that pill? You gotta do what must to keep yourself going. If it does the job, go for it!

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    1. I’m glad to hear you didn’t drown in my shitstorm of posts 😀 The pill does its job amazingly. A shame it’s addictive. I’d be taking it every morning 😮

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      1. A happy pill will fix the world!

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        1. It did the job for me!

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  3. Glad you’re feeling better 🙂 Like John, I’ve been enjoying your shitty posts, language and all!

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    1. Awe, thank you very much for your kind comment! You’re too nice, as usual 😀

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      1. 🙂 – thanks for the follow, too! It made my day 🙂

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        1. The pleasure is mine!

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  4. A few years ago, when I was still working, I was also suffering from severe shoulder and neck pain, that also affected my jaw and ability to chew. I went to a physiotherapist at the time because I was partially covered. I was evaluated and told that it had to do with my posture and she told me how to pracise sitting staight. It worked. Hope you get better soon, Mara.

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    1. I’m sorry to hear that, but good that you found the cause and cure! Bad posture brings about all kinds of pain. In my case, it’s not posture, it’s psychosomatic, as has transpired from physical examinations. Apparently, I’m perfectly healthy, just too anxious and neurotic. Well, it’s not like I’m going to die of it 🙂

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  5. You be you and share your heart in the moment. Getting medications situated is a challenge for a lot of people. Hang in there my friend.

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    1. Awe, thank you for your kind and encouraging comment! Yesterday wasn’t too good, but today is much better 🙂 Have a good day yourself!

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  6. Good for you taking a mental health day and knowing when you need to take certain meds. You do what you need to do.

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    1. Thank you for tuning in, always nice to hear from you! It’s a bit hard to look at your own problems from perspective, to know what must be done and to do it. But one is always learning 🙂

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  7. I have to get my hands on some of that stuff! Sounds pretty cool to me! That and a few drinks and I’m good to go. (or just to hang around being wasted, which is also nice)

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    1. It’s a cheap and good quality high: take one Lexaurin, mix it with one shot and you’re wasted. No, seriously, it’s for acute anxiety, so if you’re not particularly anxious, it would probably just put you to sleep.

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      1. As long as I can enjoy a decent high before falling asleep, I’m in! 😀

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        1. I’d love to share some with you but it’d probably qualify as drug dealing shrug

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