Part of WordPress’s writing course Finding Everyday Inspiration.

The second instalment of WordPress’s writing challenge tackles the format of a listicle. Is it me or does listicle sound like testicle to you too? Speaking of testicles, is it me or does the heart symbol <3 look like sideways testicles to you too? Disembodied testicles floating through space. Have I imprinted the image on your mind? You’re welcome.

everydayinspiration2

I don’t have a picture of a listicle (or testicle), so here’s an icicle

As per assignment, I give you a list of Things I’m Good At (but Wish I Weren’t). The list illustrates my overachieving because we were supposed to list either things we’re good at or things we wish. I’m killing here two birds with one rock. (Take it easy, Animal Welfare, it’s literary, not literally.)

  1. Staring at the wall. Like Windows 95, I oftentimes freeze. And I wasn’t even made in the nineties. For information on how to fix the error, refer to your manual I Live with a Depressed Person: What’s Next? Error code is 404: Life Not Found.
  2. Getting scared. I get a fright each time my phone rings. No reason. I just don’t expect it to ring, you know, because that’s not what phones normally do. Today, however, my phone rang and I didn’t get scared. As I picked it, a booming voice of my friend yelled, Boo, did I scare you?! I wasn’t scared to start with, but this nearly gave me a heart attack. I duly yelled back, It’s not funny to make fun of my anxiety! (Though it was, admittedly, funny.)
  3. Peeing in the dark. I’m a lady and ladies don’t pee but if I did, I’d pee in the dark. You see (you don’t see, since it’s dark), I’d hesitate to switch the light on in the bathroom because I wouldn’t want to see myself pee. So, hypothetically, I’d pee while pretending I’m not peeing because peeing is awkward. Like this post.
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Posted by Mara Eastern

I'm a sardonic blogger, snapper, scribbler and rhymer; a virtual space invader who indulges in cheerful negativism, morbid self-deprecation and bleak humour.

8 Comments

  1. Love this, your posts are fun Mara! I too see two little nuts! 😜

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    1. I’m so pleased I’m not the only one who’s nuts for seeing nuts 😀 I’m always happy to entertain.

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  2. I think your psychoanalyst would be having a field day discussing your illusion to testicles…goodness what is that telling us about you…lol….I’m a lights on sort of guy when it comes to peeing in the dark, being male we have to be careful as to where we might be aiming. A mate of mine came out one morning to discover the lid of his stereo unit was up and the turntable was all wet. Turns out he was up in the night, in the dark, half asleep and reached the stereo thinking it was the toilet…..we do laugh about it now….

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    1. Yes, I’m sure Freud would beg me for my consent to be used as a subject in his research! The human mind is fascinating, and the associations it makes are sometimes really striking, to say the least.

      Thank you for describing your peeing routine, I mean, how often do you get to talk about this subject? 😉 The stereo story is just too funny!

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      1. It seemed the ideal situation to discuss such a topic and the stereo incident really did happen, thankfully not to me but to a mate…

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        1. The stereo accident is almost unbelievable, but you can’t invent a thing like this, so, of course, I believe you!

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  3. Listicles, testicles, it’s all the same Freudian slippage 🙂

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    1. Haha, I know, right? Freud would love my blog.

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