Yesterday I took a sleeping pill and didn’t go to sleep. I don’t know what I was thinking. I probably wasn’t.
I was also acutely anxious and was OCDing, this time about my blog. I’ve been fiddling with the blog for hours on end in the last few days instead of doing something productive. If you’re looking around to see the changes I made, don’t, I haven’t made any substantial. As I say, I wasn’t being productive. I tried probably all the themes in the theme showcase from the last two years and also searched for a new avatar and header or background picture.
I’m totally obsessing about a new blog design these days. I suspect it’s because I’m escaping from a work project which I’m scared of. It’s highly inefficient and idiotic of me.
However, I took the sleeping pill and sat back down to the computer. I was doing something but I was asleep. Soon my vision became so blurred that I couldn’t read anything. I remembered I took the sleeping pill and wisely concluded I should just as well go to sleep. I had a huge trouble trying to switch the laptop off, since I couldn’t read anything on the screen. Then I was stumbling around like I was intoxicated, which I was, in a way, and I found it hilarious. Whatever they add in sleeping pills these days.
The next morning I thought I’d check out what the fuck I was even doing on the computer when sleeping. I was really hoping I didn’t delete my blog entirely or reset my laptop to factory settings. I went to search history and it appears I was trying and failing to search for designs. My queries included, literally, pattern for heade, pattern to j and pattern wallpaer. It’s curious that Google actually returned pretty much what I had in mind. I seriously should get my shit together.