What I Hated (the Least) Today 246/365: What an Awesome Morning

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I’m having an awesome morning. Awesome in the sense of fucked up.

I wake up and have a sore throat. This confirms the Slavic superstition that sitting in draught gives you cold. Draught happens when you open windows at the opposite ends of the flat. I did that yesterday because of the heat wave. A pretty badass action. My mother would kill me if she saw that. No need though because now my sore throat is effectively killing me.

As I go to the kitchen drawer to get something for my throat, I open the top drawer so carelessly that stuff in the bottom drawer gets caught and falls behind the drawers. There is so little space around the drawers that I can’t possibly fit my arm in and retrieve anything that falls behind them. My arm is practically a bone wrapped in skin, as I’m underweight, but now I probably need to lose weight to fix my drawer problem.

Things fell behind the drawers before. I had a friend who is a cabinet maker come over and dismantle the drawers so I could take the things behind them out. He couldn’t dismantle the drawers because he said he never saw such a fucked up hinge system before, but he could loosen the drawer enough for me to stick my arm behind it. I learned nothing. I overstuffed the drawer again, and now I’m stuck with a drawer that doesn’t close because of the rubbish behind it. It’s literally rubbish because I use my bottom drawer to store recyclables before taking them out.

Sufficiently discouraged, I go to pee only to step into something sticky and wet. The cat missed the toilet. I don’t know what her problem was this time, this only happens when she’s upset, such as when I leave her home alone. It’s her subtle act of revenge. So off I go to get a bucket, rubber gloves and Savo. You wouldn’t know Savo. It’s an aggressive chemical routinely used in Slavic world for cleaning toilets or, alternately, for sniffing. It’s probably illegal in developed countries. Now my whole flat smells like a meth lab. The cat acts like nothing happened.

As I sit with my knees bent and talk on the phone to the suicide line – not an actual suicide line but a friend who serves me as a suicide line – I notice a drop of sweat trickling down my calf. WTF. I don’t sweat. I perspire. And I don’t perspire. Except under the knees when I bend them. It’s disgusting. I unbend my knees and watch the drop roll through the patch of hair on the calf that I missed when shaving. Like I say, it’s disgusting. While the suicide line suggests that I laugh it off, the cat starts to pole dance round my legs. Her tail wipes off the drop I was watching. Show is over. What a fucked up way to start the day.

 

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20 comments on “What I Hated (the Least) Today 246/365: What an Awesome Morning”

    1. Haha, don’t wish you were underweight, it’s equally problematic as being overweight – don’t get me started about my lack of stamina, constantly feeling cold, being moody etc. (which is partly caused by depression but also in part by my low weight, as I hear). Anyway, the “awesome” not awesome day is over and things are looking up! Have a fun day or night, or whatever you have over there now 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks Mara. I’m alone here, no family, no friends, just aquaintenses. Can’t spell today. But I am happier since the divorce last year. All the family is back east in my home state of Michigan. Don’t want to move back up there, too cold for me now having acclimated to the desert heat. Will be up there in early August though for daughters delayed wedding reception. Miss my son and daughter but we chat on phone or text often. Funny thing, I have tons of online friends!

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  1. Some days stuff just goes wrong, doesn’t it? We can let it get to us or we can as your friend did say, laugh it off but its always easy to say I think….drawers that are getting at you, an unhappy cat and a heat wave, are things designed to test you I would think. No one likes the heat so I hope you manage to stay cool and your throat improves and please don’t lose any more weight, you are looking ok as it is…

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    1. Yes, some days everything just goes wrong. It’s weird. It seems like a chain – one thing goes wrong and then everything else you try to do goes wrong too.

      Anyway, the bad day is over, let’s laugh it off! Wishing you a good day 🙂

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  2. Some days will be some days that we’d rather get over and done with ASAP. Waking up with a sore throat is also one of them for me. It could be because of the summer heat over there, or maybe you are coming down with a cold. I think the second one is worst – falling sick of knowing that you will fall sick…or will you…. Hope your next few days were better 🙂

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    1. Exactly as you say, some days nothing seems to go right and it’s best for the day to be over ASAP! No worries, though, I’m quite healthy, I just get a sore throat and a cold from draughts or AC in summer, but it goes away pretty fast. Wishing you a great summer in which everything goes right!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Mara,
    It was indeed entertaining to read, but I wouldn’t have wanted to start my day like that.

    It’s relieving to learn that we [the Swedes] aren’t the only ones believing stuff about a draught. However, we believe we’ll get not only a sore throat, but also/either a stiff neck, Bell’s Palsy [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bell%27s_palsy] or terrible aches in the ear. Subsequently, I’m very scared of draught, but nobody here has ever heard about it.

    Here, when accidents happens with McDuff, I use detergents that have bleach in them. Or real chlorine. The apartment smells like a swimming pool afterwards. McDuff has a love/hate relationship with bleach. As soon as he smells it, he comes running, but he’s mad at the same time and if my hands smell of bleach he tries to bite me.

    Bleach, most often called Javex here, is not sold ‘openly’ back home … meaning; it’s not out on the shelves in the grocery store like here.. You’d have to ask for it, and then they’ll bring you a little bottle 🙂 It’s not good for the environment. When my friend was here last year, I showed her the aisle in Walmart with bleach and we laughed. She said jokingly that she could buy a 5-litre container and sell on the black market back home LOL.

    Being environmentally friendly is an obsession there, and I always feel hesitant in which rubbish container to throw this or that, when I’m there. Everyone has at least three underneath the sink.

    I’m familiar with the problem about those drawers with too much stuff in them. The bottom fell out of one of mine. They had to come here and fix it.

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    1. Hello Rebekah and thanks a lot for your comment! I always love the cultural exchange, so to say, when you tell me about Sweden and Canada.

      I’m almost excited to hear that Swedes are also careful about draughts. I never heard about Bell’s palsy (and it looks horrible), but sore throats, colds, blocked necks and such are normally attributed to draughts and AC here.

      Advise your friend who is going on black market with bleach to order it online from eastern Europe, it’s not only freely available here but also very cheaply. The Savo cleanser I was talking about is also bleach-based, but for some reasons, the smell doesn’t evoke pools in me but meth – probably based on my watching of Breaking Bad.

      My country is quite backwards, environmental protection-wise. Especially so in small towns, where I now live. I have to walk about a kilometre to get to the nearest recycling bins – and I live at the square, so not in the middle of nowhere.

      I consider recycling normal and the least you can do, but I’m always sad (pissed off) to see that people here don’t recycle too much – I know because some people in my building don’t have a trash can and throw their trash in my bin. Sometimes I find there plastic bottles and paper boxes.

      My drawers are still blocked and will remain so for a while – I’m waiting until I have more of such things to do and then will call a one hour husband. I always wanted to try it and the service seems to be available in my location.

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      1. I didn’t think Quebec was all that forward, when it came to recycling, when I got there, but it improved a lot during my time.

        I’ve met two people who got Bell’s Palsy and they didn’t recover. Half their faces was sort of … off. Another one, there it went away.

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