Though I’m owned by one cat only, I’ve recently noticed that I act like a full-time crazy cat woman. This is what I do with my cat on a daily basis:

  • Asking the cat questions like I expect an answer (Did you miss me? What’s up? Have you finished eating? Are you being good? Have you been to the box? What are you seeing?)
  • Telling the cat things while talking about myself in the third person and referring to myself as mummy (Mummy’s going out now but will be back soon. Of course that mummy loves you! Mummy’s going to eat now, but you eat at 7:30, ok?)
  • Answering the cat’s random meows with Hush, kitty, mummy knows.
  • Pulling faces at the cat while she is staring quietly and wonders if her human went nuts.
  • Singing to the cat, in a terrible voice, improvised sing-songs featuring the cat (You’re my kitty, little kitty, favourite kitty, lalala…).
  • Rolling on the floor and playing with cat toys because it’s beneath my cat to play with them and they’re just lying around.
  • Being actually pleased as I struggle to get up and the cat has her face in my face, with her look saying, Get the fuck up and make yourself useful!

I know, I should get a life.

 

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Posted by Mara Eastern

I'm a sardonic blogger, snapper, scribbler and rhymer; a virtual space invader who indulges in cheerful negativism, morbid self-deprecation and bleak humour.

32 Comments

  1. I say your a perfectly wonderful cat mum!! ❤️😻

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    1. Awe, thank you! I sometimes think I’m overdoing it a bit…

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  2. Man, I do all of these except playing with the cat toys. Does that mean I am a crazy cat lady too?

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    1. You don’t come across as a crazy cat lady, so nothing to worry about! But I’m certainly relieved I’m not the only one taking my cat duties a bit too seriously…

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  3. I do all these things too! But I have two cats, is that a better excuse?

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    1. Great to hear I’m not the only one! And having two cats surely means than you’re more catty than those who only have one 🙂

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  4. I think all people owned by a cat can check off most of the items on that list. Same with most dog owned people.

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    1. True, people with pets probably generally have the tendency to behave weird around them…

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      1. No, it’s the rest of the world that acts weird 😉

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        1. Haha, that’s another way to look at it 😀

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  5. I do all those things except the rolling on the floor part. I have arthritis and painful joints so if I get down on the floor I’d be like that commercial, “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.” LOL!!

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    1. Poor thing! I’m beginning to feel what it is like, incidentally, I was recently diagnosed with beginning arthritis. Fortunately, I’m still mostly painless, mobile and free to fool around with the cat 🙂

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  6. But you are having a good time with your cat 😊 But you never really know if she cares about you….this is a bit of a dark thought, but it can be true…

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    1. True, I’m having a good time, even if the cat maybe isn’t having such a good time as I 🙂 It’s always hard to tell to what extent your pet likes you, but based on a number of signals, I do think my cat thinks of me rather kindly.

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    1. You’re welcome 😀

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  7. Imagine how dull the lives of non crazy cat people must be.

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    1. I can’t even begin to imagine… My cat is currently having her crazies, running around like a wild cat…

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      1. Mine is filthy. His grandmother took him out for a walk today and allowed him to roll in the mud. 😧

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        1. Oh poor Moe! Will you have to bathe him? My cat used to be an outdoor one and though she sometimes arrived filthy from doing who knows what, she always managed to clean herself.

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          1. I usually brush it out, but I just can’t be bothered. It’s dry dirt, so it just looks like his fur is tinted. He will clean it eventually.

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          2. That’s what I like about cats – they’re self-cleaning and self-maintaining…

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    1. A hilarious post! So when I’m summoning my cat, I’m summoning my dreams. Except they’re nightmares. Well, a person can’t have everything.

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  8. What’s crazy about that? Most of my family does that with the dog! I talk to her all the time – she listens, sometimes i swear she’s answering me back. She has looong conversations – really, yes! – with my husband. The only difference with dogs is that they gaze at us with adoring, unconditionally loving goofy expressions. Cats sniff, turn up their tail, and start to groom themselves. Secretly inside, I think they are jumping up and down and saying ‘yes! my human cares’ 🙂

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    1. Awe, that’s sweet! It’s a very special kind of bond that you have with your pet. And yes, I also believe that your pets are pleased to have you! At least I hope so!

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      1. Cats certainly wouldn’t hang around if they didn’t like it – unless they were captive, that is 🙂

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        1. My cat is captive indeed but I don’t coerce her to hang around me, she does so on her own accord…

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          1. I think your cat knows she’s onto a good thing. I was thinking more of those that are not and have no way of escaping.

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  9. I’m owned by two cats, so I’m at their service 24/7

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