I have issues.  Among others, issues getting up in the morning. As an armchair psychiatrist, I suspect it’s because I lack motivation to get up. Unfortunately, I currently don’t have the ability to look forward to something or enjoy things. However, I think my routine of trying to get up is hilarious. Here’s what I tried to coach myself into getting up.

  1. Set an alarm, obviously. That didn’t work out because it’s too easy to reach for the phone, kill the alarm and set a new one for an hour later.  I can repeat this up to three times. Then I sometimes get up and sometimes give up and go back to sleep again, not bothering with the alarm anymore.
  2. Set an alarm and leave the phone on the table away from the bed. This didn’t work out either because I turned out to be capable of some cool zombie moves, crawling with my eyes closed and arms outstretched to the table, killing the alarm and returning to bed to resume sleeping.
  3. Set an alarm, leave the phone on the table and raise the volume to the max. This method succeeded in scaring the shit out of the cat, while leaving me quite calm and perfectly capable of getting up zombie style, silencing the alarm and returning to my place of rest.
  4. Set an alarm, leave the phone on the table, raise the volume to the max and set the most annoying sound for the alarm I could find (specifically, the ship bridge in Star Trek under attack). This scared the cat and me too, but persistent as I am, I still managed to get rid of the alarm and continue sleeping peacefully.

Tomorrow I’ll try all of the above plus leaving the phone in the kitchen. Perhaps on the top of the cupboards so I have to climb there. I’ll keep you posted if I get up or break my leg.

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Posted by Mara Eastern

I'm a sardonic blogger, snapper, scribbler and rhymer; a virtual space invader who indulges in cheerful negativism, morbid self-deprecation and bleak humour.

13 Comments

  1. Sorry your having difficulty with getting up. Can’t think of anything that can help you. Maybe the smell of fresh brewed coffee wafting around your flat? Coffee makes the Earth turn you know…

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    1. Wow, that’s an awesome idea and actually it could be done! True, I don’t have a coffee maker or a timer, but that could be fixed. Or I could just deal with it and get up like a normal person.

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  2. Yeah … what John said! A coffee machine with a timer!

    Myself, I’m having issues staying asleep. I wake up ‘too’ early, can’t fall back asleep … just want to get up and have coffee [and smoke]. 🙂

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    1. It’s annoying when you have trouble sleeping – or getting up! Actually, I sometimes only get up to have coffee (and smoke) too. I used to postpone these after my morning yoga but found that it’s easier to get up when the reward is in sight. So first I smoke, then I do yoga to counterbalance it 😮

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  3. I don’t use an alarm…only if I have to get up at 4am to deliver a family member to the airport and only out of fear I may sleep through the departure time if I don’t have an alarm set. Its that time of year here where the mornings are so cool, the bed so warm, its easy to stay in longer than usual…..but I have to confess to having something to look forward to, even if it is painting my lounge room….so that is my project today, to slap on some paint and see how it looks….I hope tomorrow morning you survive all limbs intact….its awful having to blog with a limp…lol

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    1. I wouldn’t have to use an alarm either and theoretically, as a freelancer working at home, I can get up as late as I like, but I hate to be getting up in the evening… Having something to look forward to is essential. Doesn’t have to be anything big. Could be a breakfast or something like that 🙂 I’m happy to report that today I managed to get up at the time when I wanted and didn’t break any limb, so no limp 😉

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      1. Well I am much relieved. Having something to look forward to is easier said than done isn’t it. As you know without that we slip so easily into those dark places. I think being conscious of that need at least makes us aware.
        So I hope your day has/is going along fine.

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        1. I’m trying to look forward to my morning coffee and juice to facilitate getting up 😉

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  4. I have the same alarm! 😄😄

    Alas, I also have the same issue. Pesky day jobs, anyway. At least I have school to look forward to in the fall (for me AND the kiddoes). That oughtta motivate me.

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    1. Oh, how funny is that, I thought that my Star Trek alarm was original! I have other Star Trek sounds for call and message notifications, people are usually surprised when I’m out and they hear my phone making those alien noises…

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      1. I thought the same thing! My alarm used to be a clip of Worf saying, “I am NOT a merry man,” but sadly, I slept through that one. Hubby’s phone says, “Incoming transmission” in the ship’s computer’s voice every time he gets a text message, which is pretty fantastic.

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        1. Wow, that’s great! My phone also says “Incoming transmission” when I get a text, and “A priority message from Starfleet coming in on secure channel” for other notifications. For calls, I have the Borg standard hail… It’s fun.

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          1. That’s awesome!

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