I have issues. Among others, issues getting up in the morning. As an armchair psychiatrist, I suspect it’s because I lack motivation to get up. Unfortunately, I currently don’t have the ability to look forward to something or enjoy things. However, I think my routine of trying to get up is hilarious. Here’s what I tried to coach myself into getting up.
- Set an alarm, obviously. That didn’t work out because it’s too easy to reach for the phone, kill the alarm and set a new one for an hour later. I can repeat this up to three times. Then I sometimes get up and sometimes give up and go back to sleep again, not bothering with the alarm anymore.
- Set an alarm and leave the phone on the table away from the bed. This didn’t work out either because I turned out to be capable of some cool zombie moves, crawling with my eyes closed and arms outstretched to the table, killing the alarm and returning to bed to resume sleeping.
- Set an alarm, leave the phone on the table and raise the volume to the max. This method succeeded in scaring the shit out of the cat, while leaving me quite calm and perfectly capable of getting up zombie style, silencing the alarm and returning to my place of rest.
- Set an alarm, leave the phone on the table, raise the volume to the max and set the most annoying sound for the alarm I could find (specifically, the ship bridge in Star Trek under attack). This scared the cat and me too, but persistent as I am, I still managed to get rid of the alarm and continue sleeping peacefully.
Tomorrow I’ll try all of the above plus leaving the phone in the kitchen. Perhaps on the top of the cupboards so I have to climb there. I’ll keep you posted if I get up or break my leg.