What I Hated the Least Today 197/365: Bed and Bruises

The offending corner
The offending corner

(Not) sorry that this post is much less fun than its suggestive title suggests. Everything is much less fun than publicity suggests. Including the bed. I crippled myself in bed yesterday. While climbing in it, as per usual, in order to sleep. I have myself (and the bed) to blame.

I always climb in bed over the headboard so as not to crease the bedspread placed on the half of the double bed that I don’t use (well, I put my phone on it for the night). The safe way would be to avoid climbing and get in the bed like a normal person, from the long side. But there’s the bedspread in the way, so no way. The opposing long side of the bed is flush with a wall, so no way either.

I frequently hit the corner of the headboard with one bodily part or another as I’m climbing in, but this time I had the exceptional pleasure of banging it with my knee. It was rather painful but I found it hilarious. I mean, how funny is it that rather than messing up my bedspread, I bruise my legs, regularly and repeatedly?


Author: Mara Eastern

I'm a sardonic blogger, snapper, scribbler and rhymer; a virtual space invader who indulges in cheerful negativism, morbid self-deprecation and bleak humour.

38 thoughts

          1. Sure, I got it, I can put my feet where my head is so that both would be at the same place simultaneously. It’s not that difficult to make this shape, is it? I can do pretzel shapes, some of them. I’m bendy in some dimensions and directions, though not in all.


    1. Exactly. You got me. I’ve thought of all other options and I seriously have no choice than to climb in bed over the headboard or to upset my OCD. I’m relieved to hear you do similar things. I mean, bad for you, but good that neither of us is alone in this.


      1. Yeah, well … as long as it doesn’t cause any worse problems or consequences than this — so what?! It gets a lot worse, when you hardly can get away from your apartment, because you have to go back and check the door lock so many times so you can’t get anywhere. Then it’s a true disease …


        1. Yep. Good I’m only OCD about certain things – I don’t wonder whether I locked the door because I know for certain I did. It’s just something I do on auto mode. Like brushing your teeth before bed.


          1. I have that one pill I have to take every morning. Quite often, I’m not sure whether I took it or not. But that will show after a few hours so … Today I wasn’t sure, but I had taken it — nothing happened.


          2. True, with this kind of automated actions, you never can tell whether you’ve done it or not – but I make sure I do these things always in the same order. I take my pills and vitamins the first thing I get up, so I always know I’ve done that. If I tried experimenting, I’m sure I’d get very confused.

            Liked by 1 person

  1. You sailed way over my head with the bed-entering procedural-manual you have compiled. I sleep on a thin slab of canvass that comprises an army-cot (I put sheets on it every night and tear them off every morning and neatly fold them- I’m no heathen), so I find difficulty in relating. Cats like cushy things, I thought, but still sprawl all over the thing and stare at the toad on the chest next to my cot. I’m rambling now…

    Your bedtime misadventures reminds me of that same frequently almost homeless friend, by the way, the one I mentioned that wanders around with the pet iPad all over the place, rather like Linus with his blanket- he, too, suffers in the bedroom. A few nights ago he injured his hand in the wee hours.

    He fell…

    …out of bed…

    …and landed on his hand…

    Are you starting to see why he is constantly almost homeless? His workmates are all in a hubbub, (his workmates are all milksops with faces pinched with youth), and are grievously concerned about his poor hand, which they deem mangled beyond repair if he does not intervene with intensive medical care. Several have already donated hand-braces to his cause. I despise American youth. I’ve cracked ribs and sprained who knows how many bones in the ocean and never ONCE went mewling around putting braces and bandages all over myself. Ew. I would say BE A MAN to him, but, well- HAHAHAHAHAHA….haha…huh.

    Anyway, I agree, bedtime misadventures are hilarious.



    1. Success in pain management makes you the ultimate badass. I’m sorely envious, because I happen to be quite sore these days, and I’d like to manage better. To the point when I’d ignore broken bones. That would be so awesome. (I know, I have weird goals.)

      Sleeping in an army cot is one of the few sleeping places I never tried. That, and sleeping in a tree. Cats might like soft things, but not all cats are equal, because mine prefers the hard surface of the window sill to sleep on. She’s a badass 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Malachite sleeps on the window-sill too. 😀

        I am hoping you do succeed in either managing or preferably dispelling your pain completely. Very soon, indeed. Not happy to see that you are suffering with it. 😦

        I am made a complete, dribbling wimp by one source of pain- cluster headache or a migraine. I had them in my youth. They were horrendous.


        1. Headaches are the worst. I used to suffer from them a lot when I was a teenager, now it’s much better. I got a migraine once that was so bad I had to be brought to emergency, where I got an IV and it helped awesomely.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. I am glad you sought relief. I had them as an adolescent youth, as well. I was daft and never sought relief. Worst pain of my life. Did you get auras, as well?


          2. I got no auras with my migraine, I just couldn’t open my eyes. The light hurt (it was in the middle of the night, so there was no much light, but it hurt very much). I do seek relief when I think that relief might be had. Painkillers are best friends.

            Liked by 1 person

          3. I was hurt by the light, as well, and by sound or any sensation that I perceived as “scratchy” or “coarse”. I also had the joy of psychedelic auras…I still get an aura now and then but no migraine. Walls melting, trailers, flashes of neon colour darting around- and I tend to have word salad when that happens- I probably should see a neurologist someday…but I always defer anything practical and wise for as long as possible.

            My migraines started around the time my brother was going to prison as a consequence of his drug addiction. One cluster headache lasted for 10 days- I wanted to die. But I was determined. I decided blacking out from pain was better than nodding off in a squalid corner somewhere, or being inspired to toss parents around like rag dolls, or getting beaten in the back of the head with a tire-iron (my brother is much better at bad-arsiness than me). He is in treatment now, though.

            And I am not so afraid of pain-killers anymore, now that I do not really need them. Ha. So it goes.

            And now that this particular therapy session has ended, I owe you a nickle, I believe 😉


          4. You have auras haunted by salads? Worse than I thought… Sorry to hear about your brother, mine is rather, uh, difficult too, though different ways. The video sums it up perfectly. You owe me nothing, but should you insist, I don’t refuse donations 😉

            Liked by 1 person

          5. How is yours difficult? Perhaps both are brothers are also difficult in these different ways- here is my email if you wish to chat further sometime- ajadefaulkner@yahoo.com

            I would send you a little something, perhaps a bit of barbed wire or a coon tooth. Would that be sufficient?? 😉


          6. My brother is difficult in that he hasn’t been speaking with me for the last several years, hence it makes it difficult for me to find out what the difficulty with him is 😉

            Your offer of barber wire and coon tooth, preferably a coon tooth on barbed wire, sounds totally enticing! How come you’re giving away your treasures? And what is a suitable repay for a wire and a tooth? I’m intrigued…

            Liked by 1 person

          7. Whoa, what happened, did I just send that last message?? BLAST I was in the middle of revising it and then the computer went BLIP HAW HAW and it was gone…damn, I sense a lot of errors went through without correction…


          8. The touchpad is the worst. Mine is disabled for some reasons, I think I did it by mistake and can’t be bothered exploring what happened because I don’t use it. So this is actually good.


          9. Ok. I’ve found that I’m unable to enable my touchpad. It is enabled in the settings, yet it doesn’t work. * sigh * I don’t use it but I think I want it back, now that I don’t have it…


          10. sigh Meanwhile a rabbit has decided that my cot is dinner and is chewing little holes in the canvas, AND leaving behind little deposits…joy


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