Your code goes here

Your code goes here

I’ve been thinking forever of getting tattooed because that’s the kind of thing you do when you’re in the midst of a third-life crisis (probably an early mid-life crisis in my case, as my lifestyle isn’t consistent with longevity). One gets to see a plenty of tattoos in summer, when people go around semi-naked, which serve as great examples of how not to do it. Of course, I’m hypercritical and subversive, and I’m sure said tattoo wearers are perfectly happy with their creations.

I find it hugely entertaining when people get tattooed with mottoes in a foreign language, preferably one they don’t speak. Latin, particularly. (My apologies to all speakers of Latin with tattoos in Latin.) A friend has a nasty, cheesy piece covering most of her calf, depicting a dove and Latin for “Soar to the stars” (I can’t be bothered Googling how you say it in Latin because I don’t speak Latin, and neither does my tattooed friend).

If I ever finally get down to getting ink of my own, I’ll design it myself for myself specifically. I have one idea (two ideas, in case I like it and want more), which I’m not going to share because it’s so awesome that you’d want to steal it from me (ha). It has to do with my penchant for punctuation (I proofread) and code (I’d like to code). It has nothing to do with the featured image of this post, which is thrown in just so.

Meanwhile, I’m amusing myself with coming up with subversive alternatives for cliched tattoos. A hand-coded HTML table follows (in case you wonder how I got a table in, as WordPress’s WYSIWYG doesn’t do tables). A code for the table follows next, which I suggest you don’t borrow either because it’s not very good.

Inline CSS, apparently the only CSS you can use in WP Text Editor, should override any external stylesheets, however, I can’t get rid of my theme’s default tr:nth-child(odd) property, which sets the background of every other table row to grey. I solved it, probably improperly, by modifying each <td> in the offending row rather than just the entire <tr>. I guess I could overwrite the offending values via the CSS Editor, but I can’t be bothered (again).

The Table
Cliche Subversive
Reach for the stars Whatever
You got this We’re all going to die here
Never give up Just let me die

The Code

<table><caption>The Table</caption>
<tr style="background-color:#cc2a41;">
<th style="color:white;">Cliche</th>
<th style="color:white;">Subversive</th>
</tr>
<tr style="background-color:#44749d;">
<td style="color:white;">Reach for the stars</td>
<td style="color:white;">Whatever</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="color:white;background-color:#44749d;">You got this</td>
<td style="color:white;background-color:#44749d;">We're all going to die here</td>
</tr>
<tr style="background-color:#44749d;">
<td style="color:white;">Never give up</td>
<td style="color:white;">Just let me die</td>
</tr>
</table>

Please note that I dot my i’s, close my tags and quote my attributes. โค

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Posted by Mara Eastern

I'm a sardonic blogger, snapper, scribbler and rhymer; a virtual space invader who indulges in cheerful negativism, morbid self-deprecation and bleak humour.

51 Comments

  1. Per ardua ad astra
    go fly like a brick ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Haha, yes, that would be a better variant. Fly like a brick.

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      1. For swimming – Dive like a shovel.

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        1. Or a shovelful of stones.

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          1. Weighed down with lead balloons?

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          2. Or a radiator. That’s what suicides here do when they choose death by drowning.

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          3. That is interesting, as either you have to get some tools to remove said radiator, and thus flooding the place where you live, or acquire it by other means, second hand radiator shops maybe.. Or do you have stalls for radiators on every bridge? “Get your lovely radiators here!”. All quite worrying thoughts.

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          4. I didn’t think of that! I have no clue how the suicides do that and they don’t live to tell the story, so.

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          5. It conjures up all sorts of thoughts, i mean, if demand gets too high, do you have to start importing them? This could be your chance to get into a very lucrative business here..

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          6. A business catering for suicides sounds fun. Seriously. But I’d be worried about a lack of returning customers.

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          7. If you got into the funeral business as well you could offer a turnkey service..

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          8. This kind of business could be lethal ๐Ÿ˜‰

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          9. “Business is dropping off” would be a good thing

            Liked by 1 person

  2. My daughters have tattoos and I have no inclination to go down that path as I fundamentally hate pain. Though I did read a novel once about this woman in her 60s whose husband left her for a younger woman. She on impulse went and had a small tattoo done on her leg. She discovered she was enjoying the pain involved and much to her children’s horror had lots more done…..its whatever floats your boat isn’t it….

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    1. I’m not fond of pain either, but since pain is such a huge part of life (and since it’s getting worse rather than better), my reasoning is that it could be nice to get used to it. The novel sounds intriguing! I wonder where it lead to after the character discovered she was a masochist.

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      1. Indelible Ink by Fiona McGregor

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        1. I’m already positively biased for the book because its author has such a quintessentially Scottish name.

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          1. Well she may have but it is set in Australia in Sydney to be exact…

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          2. That could be nice. I’ve had little if any previous reading experience of Australia.

            Liked by 1 person

          3. Apart from my written word…lol….๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„

            Liked by 1 person

  3. I love the Subversive versions, they’re so much better than the cliches. There’s plenty of cliches flying around: “Only God can judge me”, “Yolo”, “stay strong”, mandala tattoos…
    Tattoos is definitely a good way to deal with mid-life crisis. I’m probably a living proof to back up that theory: when I’m not contemplating suicide, I spend time planning my next tattoo, looking at the tattoos of others and generally just stalking tattooed babes and artists on the internet. ๐Ÿ˜€

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    1. “Yolo”? I might consider “Yodo”, you only die once. I’m perversely happy that your comment confirms that what I’m suffering from is indeed a midlife crisis. When not contemplating suicide (I ruled this out for the moment because it would likely stress my cat out, and I like my cat), I’m contemplating what drastic thing I’ll do next. Tattoos and shaving half my head are currently my favourite ideas.

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      1. I didn’t want to use my wordpress storage for something this useless, so I uploaded it on twitter instead:

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        1. Thanks for the laugh. You should’ve uploaded it on Pinterest, that’s where one puts exactly this kind of crap.

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  4. Lol !! What else can I say?! Look forward to seeing a photo of tat when it’s on skin. I’m sooo glad I don’t do HTML or coding or whatever the hell it is. Iooks tedious and boring ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

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    1. Oh no, coding is no way tedious and boring, it’s the other way round ๐Ÿ™‚ But I guess it’s in the eye of the beholder… I’ll keep you posted tattoo-wise (and code-wise) ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

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  5. Now I’m so intrigued by what you might have come up with, with regards to punctuation, so I can’t focus on the code. For a while, I had a tagline in my blog, which read ยซProfanity sucksยป, but no one noticed it, or perhaps they didn’t get it. Was thinking of ยซThey who don’t do punctuation deserve long sentencesยป, but it was too long LOL

    Tattoos aren’t my thing. I’m trying to fathom what it is that makes people so drawn to it, like CG … but I can’t. Guess I’ll just have to settle for my limitations. I heard a funny joke once, about tattoos, that I actually do remember, but it’s too dirty to post here. I’ll save it for an email. ๐Ÿ™‚

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    1. I did notice your Profanity sucks fine, and I was wondering about it. Because it suck profanity? Sounds too mild to be profane. But what else to substitute it with? Probably not f*ck if it’s still to make any sense. Now I can’t focus because I wonder what filthy joke about tattoos you know ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Tattoos were not my thing either, but then I grew old (as in feeling old, not that old physically) and I’m seriously considering ideas I didn’t find attractive before. I guess I want to try out things before I die. Also, I’m apparently death-obsessed.

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      1. โ€œsuckโ€ is considered a profanity here.

        I’ll send it to you … I was exaggerating a little, but I still won’t post it in a blog LOL

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        1. Suck is a profanity?! Poor vampires…

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          1. LOL Yeah, here it is … they’re more sensitive here. Sometimes I think they consider the word ‘naked’ a profanity too, because many people just can’t seem to bring themselves to write it — they write ‘nekkid’ or something instead. ‘cussing’ instead of ‘cursing’, but that might be a dialectal thing, though.

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          2. Hahaha, I’ve seen nekkid before and I thought it was a joke, not a polite spelling. It’s like Gawd. As a non-believer, I prefer god and a lower-case letter.

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          3. I use gawd, every now and then … it’s habitual. I used to write G-d, being compliant to the Jewish faith, even though I’m not Jewish [I was just born with a Jewish heart]. Most of the time, I try to avoid it altogether, even though I do use OMG. ๐Ÿ˜Š

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          4. Speaking of god is for sure best avoided, and I should know better, but sometimes I can’t resist. And sometimes I’m guilty of an OMG myself ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

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  6. I have a cross on my right arm. Just so you know. ๐Ÿ˜œ

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    1. Good to know ๐Ÿ™‚ Perhaps you could post a picture!

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  7. Latin…html code….it’s all Greek to me. ๐Ÿ™‚ Keep us updated! I’m thinking about getting a semi-colon tattoo. http://www.people.com/article/project-semicolon-empowers-people-depression

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    1. I read the article, and I like the thought behind the semicolon.

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      1. So do I. Both the idea and the semicolon ๐Ÿ˜‰

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    2. That much to my belief that my punctuation idea was relatively original. The inner side of the wrist is also my chosen location. The depression article depressed me; but I’m trying not to be depressed about it. Depression is certainly a cause I’d associate myself with. I’m all for depression. I mean, I’m all against depression. I consider myself allowed to joke about depression because I’m clinically depressed myself. Thanks for sharing the interesting article!

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      1. Well then we can share a joke at each other’s expense here and there. ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m obsessive and depressed….sometimes even obsessively depressed.

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        1. I believe it’s healthy to be able to joke about it!

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  8. ok…i think it’s semicolon and not semi-colon. I wonder if you had a nice giggle over that one.

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    1. Maybe semi-colon is half a colon? That brings all kinds of unsavoury associations… Honestly, though, I didn’t even notice your spelling. Shame on me.

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      1. I will definitely think twice now about having a semicolon tattooed on my wrist. All I’m picturing now is a colon (the body organ) with a chunk removed. So, thanks for that. heh

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        1. Yep, that was my mental image too. Sorry to have imposed that image on your mind! I believe that a semicolon is perfectly fine, as long as we keep it separate from semi-colon.

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  9. I’ve learned that I should never say never. That said, I will NEVER get a tattoo! However, one of my drawings is now permanently on someone else’s body. It’s a cat (big surprise there, eh?). The drawing was posted online, and someone I kinda-sorta know saw it contacted me to ask if it was okay to use it for her next tattoo. I gave her my blessing because she convincingly explained why it would be meaningful to her in her request. So, I guess if code floats your boat…

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    1. Haha, I also thought I’d never want to get a tattoo, and look at me now. I’m not recognising myself. (And this time it doesn’t have to do with memory loss.) It’s quite nice to have your creation tattooed on someone else, isn’t it? I’d feel proud ๐Ÿ™‚ Code and cats float my boat. So better not to show me your cat drawing or I’ll want to borrow that too.

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      1. I’ll keep my cat drawing a secret. LOL

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        1. Thanks! Better not to be exposed to temptation ๐Ÿ˜‰

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  10. […] when I blogged about chronic pain, I went to see the doctor the next day; when I blogged about tattoo ideas, I made an appointment at a tattoo studio immediately. While the results of my doctors’ […]

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