What I Hated the Least Today 179/365: Night Owl

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An early riser
An early riser

I’m a convinced night owl. (Isn’t night owl a tautology? Not if there is a day owl, but is there such a thing?) That means, among other dis/advantages, that I get in contact with early birds. (Again, is it a tautology or is there a late bird? And isn’t late bird an owl?) I constantly stumble upon early birds at my usual bedtime, which is early morning. (Are you confused yet? I’m starting to be.)

I have regular dealings with actual early birds, which start twittering noisily at four a.m. the latest at this time of the year, as if they had no nest to sleep in quietly so as not to disturb night owls who are trying to get some work done. I also regularly observe human early birds, who start at about the same time, at four a.m., at any time of the year. If I had a heart, it would be breaking at the sight of those unlucky people getting up at a time when I’m not even asleep yet and plodding to their day jobs. I’m lucky to have a night job. Or a day job that can be performed at night.

I’m on first-name terms with the guy who pre-delivers post, driving a van and distributing packages of mail among the post utility boxes from where the actual postman picks them for individual delivery. The guy is a sore sight: he’s ancient and he limps so badly that he shouldn’t be even driving a car, let alone drag heavy loads on a weekdaily basis. I’m also familiar with the grocery van which arrives at dawn to stock the shop on the ground floor of my building. The vans come the first, and then the foot walkers come out. (Foot walker is certainly a tautology and I have no idea how I came up with this ridiculous phrase.)

Other people’s misery is good for appreciating that I don’t have to get up early. (I don’t have to get up, even, provided I could work from bed, which I can’t because I find it uncomfortable and inconvenient.) An early bird catches the worm, they say. An early bird catches the worms, if anything, I maintain. (Provided that birds have worms, which is too unsavoury an idea for me to Google. On second thought—I did Google to satisfy my curiosity and guess what. Yes, birds do get worms. Another reason for not wanting to be an early bird. It might give you worms.)

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28 comments on “What I Hated the Least Today 179/365: Night Owl”

    1. I read that in bed in the morning to start my day cheerfully, and two things occurred to me: there are too many views around from the perspective of the western world and to few views from the perspective of where I stand, that is, former Eastern Bloc; I wouldn’t call Huxley’s Brave New World a dystopia because, come on, the characters in the book are not aware that their lives suck, so it’s the same as if their lives didn’t suck. Ignorant, but happy.

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  1. There is no such thing as a day owl. They’re called day cunts (for both males and females) – you can find a lot of them at offices around here and during weekends in the winter, they’re usually out cross country skiing. On Monday morning they talk very loud about how great the skiing was during the weekend and what marvelous weather it was.
    You probably have some local equivalents in your area, but I’m guessing they’re occupied with other activities than cross country skiing.

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    1. Please do submit your definition of day cunts in the Urban Dictionary. I don’t meet these people (if people) in my living context (I hardly meet any people at all), but sure I know what you mean. Whom I do meet are smug joggers and moms on roller skates pushing prams. Something about that irritates me. Probably their radiating smugness. It’s like I went to do my morning yoga in a park solely to showcase to as many people as possible that I live healthy. Which I don’t.

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      1. That’s it. Your local equivalent is the joggers. We have them here too in the summer: some of the skiing people turn to jogging in the summer. The most hardcore day cunts use skies with wheels in the summer.

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  2. I’m a bit of a night owl, although not as dedicated as you. Now that I’m retired it doesn’t even matter as I can sleep in as late as I want in the mornings. Unless I’ve been silly enough to make an early appointment .

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    1. That’s the problem of night owls and one I get a lot – it’s nice that I go to bed in the morning but then when I wake up, most offices are closed, and no one is going to agree on an appointment in the evening, when it would most suit me. That’s sort of discriminatory 😮

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  3. I’m both an early bird and a night owl. Because I’m a ridiculous human being. I’ve always been an early riser (except for once every few weeks where I just crash at the weekend) and I find I’m most productive and energetic in the mornings. However, I force myself to be a night owl too as that’s when I get to be a proper grown up and do things like watch a movie or catch up with art projects. So I’m a “burn the candle at both ends” bird.

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    1. That sounds complicated! Perhaps the Caledonian Antisyzygy is at play here 😉 ? I’m productive in the morning as long as it’s still semi-dark, but it only lasts for about an hour, and then I get sleepy and remain sleepy throughout the whole day. It’s ridiculous that I can’t function as every other normal human being does, at daytime. But I’ve tried to change for long enough to see that it’s the way I’m wired and while I can surely get up early, I can’t choose when my best time for focus and productivity is.

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      1. My natural biorhythm is definitely to rise early and get going and then get sludgy in mid-afternoon. I would actually love to be from a culture where siestas were an acceptable thing. My body chemistry wants to shut down in the evening but I push myself to keep going into evening so that I can have post-kid-bedtime as a grown up. Even then most nights I’m in bed shortly after 10. But maybe I’m just getting properly middle aged? Now there’s a depressing thought.

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        1. I read some articles suggesting that the eight-hour working day isn’t really natural for the human body and that we’re biologically more wired for the siesta kind of regime. So, I wouldn’t ascribe it to age!

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  4. So you have a convenience store in your building?! That’s great. I’ve thought about how nicely a store would fit in here. All the elderly, they’d love to have a little store here.

    Quite often I wake up around 3 o’clock in the morning, and the birds are already chirping in the little gardens down below.

    In parenthesis, I know exactly the type CG is talking about in his comment. I’ve had so many personal experiences with those — brought back a lot of memories 😂.

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    1. Well, it sounds better than it is really. It’s a small shop that carries “value” brands only. I’m so spoilt that I can’t do value brands, so I don’t really use the shop anyway.

      Birds are early birds, aren’t they 😉

      I don’t have any dealings with CG’s smug types; I often come across an entirely different kind of people – those people of limited means that come to supermarkets to buy only particular items that are on sale and haggle with the cashier about it because often they don’t check properly what the sales are for and take the wrong product or the wrong amount (like when it’s a pay-two-get-three kind of discount). It’s not as annoying (though it’s not great to stand behind such person in the queue) as rather sad. One can’t help seeing oneself at their lot.

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      1. I’m not big on value brands either (or ‘generic brands’, as they call them here). Only certain things. I’m so grateful I’m free of all those smug types that CG talked about! It’s such a relief, they brought out the worst in me.
        The lot you describe is nothing but sad, but I know exactly what you mean. I see them here too, in the Dollar-store.

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        1. Yes, generic brands, that’s what I meant. Not all of them necessarily bad, but some of the stuff is pure evil. Like the wet cleaning wipes I accidentally got and since they were not wet really, used them up as kitchen towels. It was a generic brand called “Clever”. Probably the worst around. Of course generic brands in your area will have completely different names and all.

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          1. One of them is named “NoName” (or “SansNom” for the French) 🙂

            Trash bags, and stuff like that, we buy NoName stuff, but never coffee. That’s the worst I’ve ever come across!

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          2. Haha, nice, No Name! At least they have a sense of humour. Trash bags, hm, I did try those with generic brands but the bags would tear apart when I had the misled idea to fill them with trash. They were probably just decoration, not intended to be used.

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  5. There seem to be a lot of people in this world who like you exist to stay up all night and sleep all day…..I’m not one of them….which means I am super boring in that I go to bed early and get up earlish!! But i do work best in the am..I think a lot of mine is conditioned from having children and knowing that when the house was quiet that was your sleep time which with a bit of luck was from 10pm most nights and if even more lucky the kids would allow me to sleep to 6am…though at one stage my son decided that his start time was around 3am…thankfully he grew out of that…..

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    1. I wouldn’t call it super boring, I’d rather call it sensible and practical. It’s extremely impractical to be asleep throughout the entire office hours and opening hours of most businesses. You should congratulate yourself rather than be sorry!

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