I’m a convinced night owl. (Isn’t night owl a tautology? Not if there is a day owl, but is there such a thing?) That means, among other dis/advantages, that I get in contact with early birds. (Again, is it a tautology or is there a late bird? And isn’t late bird an owl?) I constantly stumble upon early birds at my usual bedtime, which is early morning. (Are you confused yet? I’m starting to be.)
I have regular dealings with actual early birds, which start twittering noisily at four a.m. the latest at this time of the year, as if they had no nest to sleep in quietly so as not to disturb night owls who are trying to get some work done. I also regularly observe human early birds, who start at about the same time, at four a.m., at any time of the year. If I had a heart, it would be breaking at the sight of those unlucky people getting up at a time when I’m not even asleep yet and plodding to their day jobs. I’m lucky to have a night job. Or a day job that can be performed at night.
I’m on first-name terms with the guy who pre-delivers post, driving a van and distributing packages of mail among the post utility boxes from where the actual postman picks them for individual delivery. The guy is a sore sight: he’s ancient and he limps so badly that he shouldn’t be even driving a car, let alone drag heavy loads on a weekdaily basis. I’m also familiar with the grocery van which arrives at dawn to stock the shop on the ground floor of my building. The vans come the first, and then the foot walkers come out. (Foot walker is certainly a tautology and I have no idea how I came up with this ridiculous phrase.)
Other people’s misery is good for appreciating that I don’t have to get up early. (I don’t have to get up, even, provided I could work from bed, which I can’t because I find it uncomfortable and inconvenient.) An early bird catches the worm, they say. An early bird catches the worms, if anything, I maintain. (Provided that birds have worms, which is too unsavoury an idea for me to Google. On second thought—I did Google to satisfy my curiosity and guess what. Yes, birds do get worms. Another reason for not wanting to be an early bird. It might give you worms.)