By virtue of the negative operator not, I can blog about, instead what I hated the least, what I hated the most today and still comply with the format of my challenge. Neat, not? I’ve blog-ranted about my hatred for pigeons before and, in the last paragraph of my post, asked, in all seriousness, for pigeon poop removal tricks. Now, it occurred to me that I’d rather go to the source, so I’m asking for pigeon removal tricks.
The trouble with pigeons it, among other things, that they desecrate my terrace to an indecent degree (I know about degrees, I have three) like they have no better job to do (I don’t know about jobs, I have none). The results of their ravage are impossible to remove by conventional means. So I got me a badass scrubbing brush (and haven’t used it yet, but now that I have it, I could). Instead, I painted my nails duo colour (like I have no better job to do).
* The rest of this post contains a denouement (of sorts), but is so disgusting that you’ll want to pass (if not pass out). *
While waiting for my nails to dry (while my feet were freezing off, as I painted my toes as well), I noticed that my (landlord’s) terrace prides itself in a brand new poop acquisition. It was such a severe case that it collaterally splashed on the glass door in proximity (if you’re queasy, I assure you I’m too, but the pigeon didn’t double check with my feelings). The most interesting characteristics of my new terrace branding was not so much the violet colour of the poop, as the fact that it contained five cherry stones.
It means that 1) there are cherries somewhere already! 2) pigeons are really like winged rats, as they were called in one discussion forum for pigeon removal, because they apparently devour anything. I researched into means of pigeon repelling but didn’t find anything suitable. I was however greatly (greatly inappropriately) amused when reading about a pigeon repellent device that gives the bastards electrical shocks. I am very mean when it comes to pigeons. Or I’m just mean.