What I Hated the Least Today 145/365: Nutrition Specialist

An apple a day (no way)
An apple a day (no way)

As I was sitting on a bench, having consumed a snack of puffed rice bread and finished off with a smoke, I was approached by a young man of unclear intentions. Have you been sitting here long? he inquired. I considered it a curious way of greeting but responded that not really and inquired what he wanted. He wouldn’t say.

Instead, he sat down next to me and asked me what I had for breakfast. I thought it escalated quickly but decided to humour him. As far as a brief snort of I don’t eat breakfast qualifies as good-humoured. I quickly asked in turn what he ate for breakfast but didn’t really want to know. The answer was the quizzical nutrients.

The conversation continued in this vein, which soon became boring and I was no longer interested in what the man’s problem was. He eventually came clean, confessing that he was a nutrition specialist. I was too nonplussed by then to even fall into a fit of laughter at the wild idea that I would waste my non-existent money on the advice of a nutrition specialist.

I told the specialist straight away that his service was not required. When I left the bench and walked a bit on, I saw him harassing another random person in the street. I think he was doing it wrong. He didn’t even leave me his business card. I could have just as well got drunk and wanted to call him to give him my honest opinion of his nutrients.


Author: Mara Eastern

I'm a sardonic blogger, snapper, scribbler and rhymer; a virtual space invader who indulges in cheerful negativism, morbid self-deprecation and bleak humour.

28 thoughts

  1. I find such people have a very big cringe factor within me. They will start to tell me all the evils of what I eat and that my heart and every organ I have will explode if I don’t change my ways….I then tell them that I live on a special diet that try as I might I fail on daily and his advice is only increasing my already high food anxiety levels. I’ll meet you in the pub I think.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, meet you in the pub! I normally don’t talk to people offering any kind of advice or products, but I had time to spare and I was curious to see where it will lead. At least my curiosity was satisfied. When it comes to eating habits, I prefer common sense. Well, I always prefer to use my own common sense.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. That, I must say, was a weird encounter! Can’t see the point of his harassing people in the park, when he didn’t even give out a card, as you say.

    One of our grocery stores now has an “in-store-dietician”. She doesn’t harass people though … she has a little ‘kiosk’, so to speak, with all kinds of informational brochures ‘n stuff.

    “Cringe factor” is a good word …


    1. It was actually not as much cringeworthy as pathetic. It was a young man in his early twenties with a very bad complexion which made me think that he’s not very good at his job – I associate skin quality with one’s dietary habits, among other things – and I was quite sorry for him. I tend to have this pitying, condescending attitude towards young people – while keeping my deadpan face on at all times of course. I thought it a bad career choice – almost as bad as mine – to be a dietary specialist in a smallish town like mine where most people struggle to pay the rent and don’t give a damn about nutrition – because priorities. It was quite fun at the end – before it got boring – and I always appreciate to have something to blog about!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It somehow reminds me of a psychologist back home. I saw him, sitting in the grass, at the horse races, drinking pure booze, straight out of the bottle LOL

        I think he may have made a bad career move too LOL


        1. Oh dear… Poor thing. I have a huge respect for psychologists who actually help people – my experience was with psychologists who didn’t do much helping in my case, but then, I’m a tough nut to crack. I’m really sorry for the guy. Though thinking about it, teachers have perhaps almost as risky a profession as psychologists. The only thing that helps me through the class is the thought of the after-class smoke and the evening wine/booze.


          1. I think many psychologists have chosen that career, because they think they’ll sort out their own problems in the process. Now … that’s just my though, because I’ve met a few of them (first husband included) LOL

            Teachers have a great responsibility; perhaps the ones in little school, in particular since those little ones are so impressionable.


          2. You have a point. It makes sense – on one level – but then it’s such a bad reason to choose to be a psychiatrist/psychologist. I always suspected these people had more issues than their patients – individually and sometimes combined. First grade teachers have it very hard, responsibility-wise, that’s something I’d never risk. A friend was a teacher on the first grade and she broke down after her first year. Apparently, both her and her pupils were taking it all too personally.


          3. Both as a parent (one thing I never wanted to become) and a first grade teacher, the responsibility is huge when you stop and think about it. That said; I doubt many people do. That’s the saddest part. When I look at all the young girls, who really are kids themselves, pushing baby carriages around here, I wonder how much thought they put into this subject … that they’re really forming a new human being!


          4. Agreed. My parents clearly had no clue what they were doing when they produced my brother and me, which only cements my determination not to have kids. No need to put more traumatised creatures on the earth 😉 I do have good memories of my elementary school teachers though – they were all these maternal types, very nice… And of course I was a smart kid to start with, which didn’t hurt.


  3. What the what now? It’s not enough to be pestered by mail drops and cold phone calls and promotion people in shops but now they send them out into the community to harass people by starting random conversations? He would have received very short shrift from me.


    1. I hope it was an isolated case of a misled young person that will not spread. I normally send everyone approaching me away before they even open their mouths (unless I suspect it’s someone lost who might just want to ask for directions) and I get few cold calls – I think it’s because I have an app that allows me to block negatively rated telemarketing numbers. I set it up so that such numbers won’t get through. So I’m quite fine and willing to humour an occasional solicitor, if it looks like good blogging material 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Telemarketing is an epidemic here. I signed up to things that are supposed to stop them but still they ring. I just never answer either my mobile or landline phone unless I recognise the number / caller ID.


        1. I’m quite surprised to hear that. I thought telemarking is gradually being given up for other, even more annoying options. It’s one way not to answer uknown numbers, but then it might be the pizza boy or a parcel delivery calling…

          Liked by 1 person

    1. I know right, nutrition tips are the new religion! I’m glad you like the photo 🙂 It was a funny encounter, though it could have been scary if it were somewhere with less people around and less daylight 😮

      Liked by 1 person

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