Wired classroom

Wired classroom

Since I’ve been spending so much time recently poking fun at my students, it’s only fair to look at the whole teaching situation from their perspective—and poke fun at myself. I’m often mentally and physically out of touch with my surroundings and have issues performing simple tasks—because they are confusingly simple. Typically, I lose my papers at random locations in the classroom, I stumble on and crash into objects and I can’t make classroom equipment work. Naturally, students never warn or advise me and instead quietly observe as I make impact with chairs or struggle to open a tricky window.

Today I was allocated to a different classroom than usual. The room was so high-tech that it was impossible for me to use. To start with, I couldn’t find the light switch. This posed a bit of a problem because the classroom was windowless, hence pitch dark. I switched my phone’s flash light on and embarked on a search mission. I took the teacher’s desk apart and discovered hidden compartments and even a built-in PC, but no light switch. Ten excruciating minutes later, I gave in and called IT help. The man came, touched the touchscreen on the top of the desk and it was light. It didn’t occur to me that the touchscreen was activated by touch (because how logical is that?).

Once the lights went on by the workings of black magic, I thought I would close the door. I thought wrong. The door was protected from closing with some probably primitive mechanical trick, which I couldn’t crack. I didn’t feel like summoning the powerful technician-magician again, so I used force (not the force) and smooth talk. Neither helped. In depths of despair, I asked a fit-looking male student for assistance—he smugly moved something at the top of the door and it closed. Students never tell you anything.

Finally, before beginning the class, I attempted to retire to the restroom through the other door, which seemed to be closing and opening normally. I had the unfortunate idea of trying to back out of the door while informing the class that I’d be right back. I hit the door frame because, while the door appeared to be stable, it clearly had the ability to move around in space when nobody was looking. My ribs and my dignity suffered in this incident. The students seemed well satisfied with the result.

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Posted by Mara Eastern

I'm a sardonic blogger, snapper, scribbler and rhymer; a virtual space invader who indulges in cheerful negativism, morbid self-deprecation and bleak humour.

20 Comments

  1. I enjoyed the post. Thanks for the smile. Hope today goes smoother!
    With Respect, Hope, Joy and Love, Carmela

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    1. Thank you for your lovely comment! I’m glad you enjoyed reading about my misfortunes (which were of course meant to sound funny rather than tragic 😉 ). Have a great day!

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  2. The students must have enjoyed this day ! I’m glad to see you survived and were able to poke fun at yourself 🙂

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    1. The students were laughing like crazy. I was a bit worried about their mental health, but I was too busy checking if I broke any ribs (I didn’t).

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  3. What a place! The light switch sounds very intriguing! It wasn’t on the wall as they normally are?!

    Gosh, these students must have had so much fun — I totally get the picture 🙂

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    1. It was a very unusual classroom. Now I figured it out – everything was activated via the touchscreen on the teacher’s desk – but the lack of switches on the walls (I even checked the ceiling) intrigued me. I think this was the best class for my students in this term. What’s more fun than a confused teacher 😉 ?

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      1. Oh, they must have had a wonderful time 🙂

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  4. Oh dear. I embarrassed myself quite often in front of my students and weirdly it seemed to garner me more respect from them. Maybe you should look at it that way too.

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    1. That’s a curious paradox! I don’t really mind embarrassing myself in front my students – they deserve their laugh too. But I hope they trust my skills in English are better than my skills of walking through a door.

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  5. Oh to be a fly on the wall in your classroom…..should you see a fly sitting on the wall and appearing to be in fits of laughter it might be me…..lol……the good thing of course is your ability to recognise the hilarity in each situation……touch screens are tricky I well know, the other day my neighbours delighted in showing me how to activate the torch on my phone, it was all new to me…..once some years ago I went to class and had my then state of the art iphone out in my hand. A student looked at me in disbelief and asked if I actually knew how to use the thing. I calmly said yes and put it away should they ask me a more exacting question.

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    1. Now I’ll pay special attention to any insect on the wall. Please do not try entering my flat after your metamorphosis though, as my treatment of bugs at my home is not friendly, to say the least. The torch on the phone is so great! I use it a lot. Not just when trying to find a light switch. Your student’s presumption was mildly offensive – why wouldn’t you know how to use your phone? And if you didn’t know how to use it, why would you have it?

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      1. I had the same reasoning about the phone. I think it was their believing I wasn’t so tech savvy. Don’t worry about me being any sort of bug on the wall it’s a long way to travel.

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  6. Class! Did they also get to watch the beginning of your performance? 😉

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    1. The students are like the big brother. They watch everything. And say nothing. They clearly enjoy the spectacle of the teacher embarrassing herslef 🙂 I don’t mind so much, at least I have something fun to blog about.

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      1. Poor ones… if they only knew 😉 But it’s bittersweet quiet revenge I’d say 😉 One day you’ll start illustrating the whole situations 😀

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        1. Now that’s a great idea! One that I probably don’t have the skill to act on. But now you put a bug in my mind.

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          1. …I thought I read about you picking up those pencils and brushes the other day…? So yes, keep feeding that bug, I’d love to see those illustrations 😉

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          2. You got me – I do occasionally toy with pencils and brushes, but the effect is usually hilarious. And sometimes it’s just plainly bad.

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          3. Everyone starts at some point, right 🙂 ?

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