What I Hated the Least Today 136/365: (Not) Healthy

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Too red in the first place
Too red in the first place

And I am aware of my heart: it opens and closes
Its bowl of red blooms out of sheer love of me.
The water I taste is warm and salt, like the sea,
And comes from a country far away as health.

Sylvia Plath, “Tulips”

I blogged about pain management yesterday, mostly because I found it perversely interesting to have discovered a new kind of pain and also in order to congratulate myself on how comparatively well I’m managing it. I didn’t foresee that I’d get so many kind comments from concerned fellow bloggers.

This follow-up post is therefore to thank you, everyone, and to add an explanation of how come that I have such an aversion to seeing a doctor, which is the obvious first step, as your comments correctly pointed out. Finally, this fits as a response to today’s Daily Post prompt, which, as though they were reading my mind, offers the keyword Healthy.


Now, I’ve summed up in my mind the history of my dealings with doctors in the last few years, and it turned out that, unsurprisingly, my dislike for doctors comes from my previous not so great experience with them. There are notable exceptions, such as my allergist, who hates me and whom I’m scared of, who however continues prescribing me medication that helps with my all-year-round allergic colds.

There is my allergist then, and there are other doctors. Here’s a selection from my appointments with the other, somewhat less helpful kind. I suspect that the problem is that I look like the type who can be messed up with, which I probably am. I wish I looked more fierce.

 

Me: I feel constantly fatigued.

GP: You have anorexia/bulimia. Report to a psychiatrist.

 

Me: I feel constantly fatigued.

Psychiatrist: Exercise regularly.

 

Me: I feel constantly fatigued.

Another GP: It’s nothing.

 

Me: I have a bad toothache.

Emergency doc: I have worse. Consult your dentist in regular opening hours.

 

Me: I have ingrown toenails.

Orthopedist: Don’t wear narrow shoes.

Me: I don’t.

Orthopedist (snorts): You can try toenails braces. Not covered by your health insurance.

 

Me: I’d like a regular check-up.

GP (measures my blood pressure): We’re done here. You’re too young to qualify for blood tests.

 

On a more positive note, now I recalled another instance when seeing a doctor was actually helpful—that was when I had a case of migraine and was imagining my brain would explode (or, preferably, implode, as that would make less mess). My then-husband took me to the emergency room, where I was given an IV, which returned me back among the living. I suspect that I only got help because my former spouse looks like the type who can’t be messed up with, which he is.

There is one more recent happyish ending: years later, it turned out that my constant fatigue was caused by my antidepressants. It was a known side effect of the medication, though apparently unknown to the doctors who were treating me. It also accidentally turned out that I feel better without the antidepressants, which were apparently depressing me. Another known side effect of the medication. I guess it’s my fault—I always expect too much.

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12 comments on “What I Hated the Least Today 136/365: (Not) Healthy”

  1. I think one of life’s great struggles is finding a dr you can not only trust but believe he/she is acting in your interests. I’ve had to change GP’s in recent times and have been lucky to find a delightful young Indian Dr who actually seems to like me and is interested in what is wrong with me…..so good luck with everything..

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    1. I’m happy to hear that you’ve found a doctor who is actually concerned for your health. I guess that’s something I’ll need to do yet. Though I’ve changed GPs a few times already, there doesn’t seem to be any change in their approach.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Just a reflection on the last part of your story about doctor’s prescribing meds and not giving the patient information. Just take it. You need it. Your body will feel better.

    I was prescribed high blood pressure meds two years ago because I was on the borderline. So I decided to research the meds and discovered many studies indicating the meds worked well for males, but caused verifiable complications and possible death in females. My oldest daughter is a nurse and she told me that I made the right decision not to take them. I’m fine and still kicking! 🙂

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    1. You have a point. It’s very difficult, without having medical education, to know whether some medication is good for you or whether it will bring more harm than good. I didn’t mind that much my doctor not informing me about the side effects, I can read the information attached to the meds myself, what bothered me extremely was that I was complaining repeatedly about what indeed turned out to be a side effect of medication – the problem went away just like that when I stopped using the medication, with the knowledge of my doctor. I would imagine that they would identify it as a side effect which it was, rather than just not doing anything about it. Well, it’s difficult, so let’s be glad that we’re still alive and kicking, as you say 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I must have missed your sick post 😦 The drs you have given us a sampling of are the epitome of sucky suckiness! It can be hard to find one that’s not. They should know what they prescribe, including side effects, and inform you of them so you can make an informed decision about whether you want to take them. At least you know now about some of them 🙂 Hope you’re feeling better.

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    1. No worries, you didn’t miss too much, if anything at all! It is difficult to find a good doctor and I still need to figure out how to do that. Meanwhile, we can at least poke fun at those not so good docs I’ve dealt with!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Doctors in Norway are retarded. If you have stomach problems, the first thing they do is to remove your appendix. When that doesn’t work, they start examining you to figure out what’s really wrong…

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    1. I’ve come recently under the impression that all doctors everywhere are retarded, except of course doctors of philosophy, like me, because at least we don’t claim to cure people. Thanks for letting me know in which country I should have my appendix removed.

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