Classic faceless selfie

Classic faceless selfie

I need to compliment myself since no one is going to do it for me: I’m looking okay. I’ve been trying to lose some weight, which has worked. To the obvious question how I did that, I have a very disappointing answer: I eat low-calorie food and obsessively practise yoga. It’s not really worth it, especially not the barbarous diet of veggies, soya, tofu and other disgusting stuff.

On a related note, my hair looks awesome today. To the obvious question how I did that, there is a Murphy’s Law answer: I didn’t try too hard. I didn’t try at all, besides the usual: washing the hair, dry-blowing it, applying some little hair spray—and going out in the billowing wind. I wish I were able to reproduce this success when I actually go somewhere substantial—today’s trip to the supermarket doesn’t count.

I take pride in finding something negative in each positive thing. To flaunt this skill, I have to add how annoying it is that I lost weight because I don’t own any clothes for my current size. All my trousers and skirts are either too big or too small. I fished out an old pair of jeans—so old that it’s the non-skinny type, which I doubt you can even buy these days—put a belt on it and so made it roughly wearable. It looks comical, with the trousers holding on the belt for dear life. I’ll need to go shopping—which, of course, I hate.

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Posted by Mara Eastern

I'm a sardonic blogger, snapper, scribbler and rhymer; a virtual space invader who indulges in cheerful negativism, morbid self-deprecation and bleak humour.

27 Comments

  1. As long as I’ve known you, I’ve loved the way you’re able to find something negative in each positive thing. 🙂 BTW, your nails look great too! 🙂

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    1. Awe, thank you so much! I often find my negativism unbearable myself, so it’s reassuring to see how well you cope 😉 My nails are my current favourite, Maybeline Colorama, and the red looks pretty good. It also lasts forever – I painted the nails a week ago and they still look perfect.

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      1. I won’t be wearing red any time soon.Half of one of my toenails fell off yesterday. The almost black nail polish I had on when it happened called attention to it, so I took it off. When I repaint it will have to be a barely there colour.

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        1. That sounds rather nasty! What happened? Well, that’s a stupid question, what happened is that your nail fell off, but I wonder how come. Hopefully it’s not too painful.

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          1. I can’t remember what happened. The initial injury was a year or so ago. It goes through a cycle of growing out and then (painlessly) falling off. I think this time may be different though. Yesterday (before going out to a social event) I tried to make my toes look as best as I could without painting them. On close inspection, I realized that there was a smooth nail under where the bumpy/ridged portion of the nail that fell off was. This is new! Maybe the cycle is over?

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          2. Oh I see! At least it doesn’t hurt. And maybe you’ll be getting brave new toenails soon 🙂 I had something similar happening to me to what you describe, but it wasn’t so large scale. It was awkward to miss a toenail and have the big toe partially exposed 😮

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          3. At least mine is the one next to the pinky. You’d have to really be checking out my feet to notice (unless I have dark polish on).

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          4. I’m the creep who would be checking out your feet because I love painted nails 😮

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  2. Looking nice! I could try to guess your weight but that’s a dangerous thing to do. 😇❤️

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    1. Your guess about my weight would be as good as mine – I don’t own a bathroom scale. I don’t need to, I can see from how my clothes fit whether I’m putting on or losing weight. Now I got a bit curious though, I might need to visit my mother and use her scale 😉

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  3. My diet has gone to hell today. I’m hoping for a rebound in the coming days.

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    1. I would certainly dissuade you from dieting… I don’t think it’s worth it! I mean, you should have something tasty in your life, shouldn’t you?

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  4. Well I am impressed, losing weight is no easy task and I know all about disgusting diets as I live on one which I used to call my no food diet as most delicious things were removed from my eating habits. Its what we put in our mouths that governs our weight. So I applaud you and thought you looked very well today and exceedingly beautiful as you graced the aisles of the supermarket though I have to agree your pants were looking desperate in terms of placing all their trust in your belt. But even so you must be feeling good in yourself even temporarily just in that micro-second before Mrs Negative drops by. Enjoy the weekend.

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    1. Diets are torture, as you say. I can’t stop laughing at the theatrical image you present of me strolling casually in the supermarket aisles while looking awesome 😀 I did enjoy myself perhaps for more than split a second, but not to worry, I’m back to my grumpy normal today. Have a great weekend!

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      1. Thank goodness I didn’t spoil your mood….

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        1. Spoil my mood? Spoil my what? No worries! That’s not happening, and I’m always glad to hear from you.

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  5. It’s great to be able to feel that way. I don’t diet, but I have done it so I know I can when necessary. I’d rather need exercise, but I don’t do that either.

    It looks like a nice handbag there …

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    1. That’s my favourite bag, I’m partial to red – and I’m also partial to a somewhat girlish style with laces and the like. Not tassels though.

      I always hated exercise, so I’m rather surprised that I’m keeping up with my yoga. It might not be the best workout that there is, but it’s better than doing nothing. I find it somewhat disheartening to think that I’ll be on a diet for the rest of my life if I wish to retain my weight. I guess it’s the same for everyone – once you hit a certain age, you just begin to put on weight.

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  6. Congratulations – nothing is easy.

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    1. You’re right, nothing is easy, and even these tiny victories feel good 🙂 Thanks!

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  7. It must be a sign of our civilization that we’re happy and congratulate each other when we lose weight. … if only because it’s so freaking hard!! Kudos.

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    1. Yes, it’s definitely a first-world thing… And I don’t even live in the first world 😮 It feels good though, such a small gain – I mean, loss!

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      1. As long as all those free radical blobs of fat don’t find their way here to me.
        Then I will not be so happy for you anymore 😉

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        1. Haha, no worries, I think I eradicated all radical blobs and there are none in your way 🙂 I wouldn’t be so mean as to leave them unattended.

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          1. thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

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  8. I went to my first yoga class last week (or maybe it was the week before).
    Haha, that must have looked pretty hilarious. Everyone there seemed to know what they were doing, but I had no idea and had to look at the instructor all the time.
    “downward dog, upward dog”, “now we change to a cobra”…
    – Wait?!? What?!?
    “Stretch your arm towards the ceiling.”
    – Hey! Slow the fuck down!

    Doggy styles, buffalo stance, cobra… Yoga isn’t easy for newbies!
    I also had difficulties because I nearly started laughing several times. 🙂

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    1. Wait, you went to a yoga class? What were you on? 😉 It’s my pleasure to welcome you in the yoga crowd though. Yoga poses are either ridiculous or explicit. Check out my favourite Drunk Cat Cow at minute 16 of this video. I don’t think I could bear the awkwardness verging on humiliation of taking a public class without any previous experience of yoga, so you have my respect. Have fun melting into your mat.

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