I have received invitations for two social events today. As I’m asocial verging on anti-social, I’m likely to graciously decline.
The first event is my graduation ceremony. Finally, half a year later, I’ll be getting my diploma. I’ve had one graduation ceremony already—for my Master’s degree—and I found it boring and pretentious. Serve me right, I should have known that a ceremony would be ceremonious.
It consisted in academic officials parading around in their fancy robes at a pace which they deemed dignified and I deemed ridiculously inefficient. Graduates were dressed in poorly fitting black robes, were required to stand in a goose file all the time and then probably pledged something—I don’t remember it well and I didn’t sign anything, so it doesn’t count.
The doctoral ceremony can’t be much different—perhaps it will be shorter as fewer people have the patience and poor sense to persist in their studies until they get old and die (almost). In fine print at the bottom of my graduation invitation, it said that there was a not insubstantial fee required. That amused me immensely—I’ve paid quite a lot for my education already and have no intention to add to it. I’ll need to inquire about the option of picking up my diploma without the humbug and avoiding the fee.
Another invitation I received was for my secondary school reunion. I wonder why I’ve been sent the invitation because I was the unpopular kid—except when someone needed to copy my English homework. I’ve been to one of these reunions already and while I found my classmates puzzlingly different from how I remembered them, I didn’t particularly enjoy the meetup—possibly because I didn’t dare to talk to anyone and no one dared to talk to me really. I wonder if now, fifteen years or so later, there will be any change (I don’t wonder, I know there will none—because logic).
All in all, it looks like I have just saved two days of my life.