If you live in the northern hemisphere, how was your summer? Pray tell me because I must have missed the season this year. The last thing I remember was a week of spring. I know it was spring because I was wearing skirts and colour tights. It escalated quickly to nylons. That’s where I imagine the summer came in, but I probably dozed off for a few months because it’s clearly winter now.
This morning, my phone Leni’s weather app (my phone is a Leni, my laptop is a Lena, you know, to avoid confusion) declared it was 4˚C, real feel -3˚C, wind 46 kmph. I decided to ignore Leni’s scaremongering and retired to have coffee at the terrace to probe the weather conditions on my own skin. I had to hold on to the railings pretty fast so as not to get blown away.
Admitting defeat and giving in to what Leni thinks is right for me (if she were my parent, she would be proud), I retrieved my winter coat and snow boots from their summer hideout and checked the probability of precipitation for today. It was 16%, which I willingly accepted and removed the umbrella from my bag. Whenever I’m off to teach, I invariably look like a street vendor with all the teaching materials I carry around. An umbrella more or less therefore makes a huge difference.
I jogged to the bus stop as I was late as I spent an excessive amount of time researching the weather. Hardly did I poke my nose out of the building when it started to drizzle. Yelling inwardly, My hair!! My haaaiiiirrr!!, I shielded my hair from the impact of raindrops. I did appreciate that it wasn’t hailing, which could have had an adverse effect not only on my hair but on the whole of my skull, possibly making it unwhole.
The following conclusions can be drawn from the above:
- Smartphones are dumb (which we already knew anyway).
- Weather forecasts are wrong (tell me something I don’t know).
- It always rains, unless when you have an umbrella.
- Winter is coming and the night is nigh (or whatever).
The following essential question remains:
- What the heck is this weather and what happened to summer?
And a bonus question:
- Why did I bother to do my hair in the morning (and where do I get a windshield to shield my hair from wind)?