It looks like spring but it's winter

It looks like spring but it’s winter

If you live in the northern hemisphere, how was your summer? Pray tell me because I must have missed the season this year. The last thing I remember was a week of spring. I know it was spring because I was wearing skirts and colour tights. It escalated quickly to nylons. That’s where I imagine the summer came in, but I probably dozed off for a few months because it’s clearly winter now.

This morning, my phone Leni’s weather app (my phone is a Leni, my laptop is a Lena, you know, to avoid confusion) declared it was 4˚C, real feel -3˚C, wind 46 kmph. I decided to ignore Leni’s scaremongering and retired to have coffee at the terrace to probe the weather conditions on my own skin. I had to hold on to the railings pretty fast so as not to get blown away.

Admitting defeat and giving in to what Leni thinks is right for me (if she were my parent, she would be proud), I retrieved my winter coat and snow boots from their summer hideout and checked the probability of precipitation for today. It was 16%, which I willingly accepted and removed the umbrella from my bag. Whenever I’m off to teach, I invariably look like a street vendor with all the teaching materials I carry around. An umbrella more or less therefore makes a huge difference.

I jogged to the bus stop as I was late as I spent an excessive amount of time researching the weather. Hardly did I poke my nose out of the building when it started to drizzle. Yelling inwardly, My hair!! My haaaiiiirrr!!, I shielded my hair from the impact of raindrops. I did appreciate that it wasn’t hailing, which could have had an adverse effect not only on my hair but on the whole of my skull, possibly making it unwhole.

The following conclusions can be drawn from the above:

  • Smartphones are dumb (which we already knew anyway).
  • Weather forecasts are wrong (tell me something I don’t know).
  • It always rains, unless when you have an umbrella.
  • Winter is coming and the night is nigh (or whatever).

The following essential question remains:

  • What the heck is this weather and what happened to summer?

And a bonus question:

  • Why did I bother to do my hair in the morning (and where do I get a windshield to shield my hair from wind)?
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Posted by Mara Eastern

I'm a sardonic blogger, snapper, scribbler and rhymer; a virtual space invader who indulges in cheerful negativism, morbid self-deprecation and bleak humour.

32 Comments

  1. It’s all because you’re ahead of yourself … this post is numbered 135 LOL

    A sure thing if you want rain is to wash the windows. Not Windows.
    Leave your umbrella at home is good too.

    It’s no fun getting in to work, soaked. One time, I was going home from work, when one of those highly localized thunder showers came down. Talk about soaked. And as frosting on the cake, when I got off the bus in town, it hadn’t rained there — the sun was blazing — so I must have looked SO weird … as I wasn’t exaggerating when I said ‘soaked’ …

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    1. Dammit! I knew I’d mess the numbering up. I always do. Fixed it now, I hope…

      Tomorrow I’ll take the umbrella to ensure no rain. I rarely wash my windows – to ensure no rain, and because the cat always pats the glass from the floor to as high up as she can reach. I also keep my blinds almost all the way down and closed at all times – otherwise the daylight directly hits my laptop screen and it’s very unpleasant. I’m a vampire.

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      1. I know … the glare! G’s computer is close to the window, so the blinds almost don’t help. Mine is in a far corner of the room … very good, regardless of sunshine 🙂

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        1. Yes, the glare… As I live in one room, there’re not many manoeuvring options as to where to put my table, but I always liked darkness rather than daylight. And the cat can see in the dark anyway, so we’re both good.

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  2. I keep telling myself it’s only April. Here in the Hinterland, this is NORMAL for April.

    I’m not panicking …. yet.

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    1. It’s normal around here too. Suddenly winter can try for a pathetic comeback with snow that lasts for a day or two.

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      1. Even though temperatures are currently hovering around 2C, I’m hoping our snow days are finished until next winter!

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      2. If it’s normal, then I hate normal. I hate normal anyway.

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    2. Haha 🙂 It didn’t use to be normal in my part of the world – April is volatile but it wasn’t common when I was younger to have 25C for a week and then a huge drop to zero and snow in some areas even. I do remember there was snow in April last year though, so I guess any weather is the standard now. Let’s keep calm and wait it out…

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      1. Good point – we’re redefining our concept of “normal”.

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        1. For the better or worse…

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    1. Drats the rest of my wonderful comment vanished but you did get a hat at least.
      In my part of the world it is allegedly coming into winter. Today there is a hint of autumn but next week the temps are expected to be in high 20s to 30sC. I blame climate change and people driving large tank type cars as they are a nuisance on the road as you can’t see past them. That’s my whinge you are more than entitled to have yours.
      Hope you have a good day….

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      1. Oh, poor thing, you had to retype your comment?! I appreciate the effort…

        Enjoy your winter more than I’m enjoying mine. I don’t blame global warming – I’d expect global warming would mean that it will get warmer, no? – I blame everyone and everything. I’m not choosy.

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    2. Ha! That’s very obvious, isn’t it 🙂

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  3. A disposable plastic rain hat?

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    1. Or just a plastic bag (if a hat gets too fancy).

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      1. I thought if that too, but decided it was not appropriate, unless of course, it is new

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        1. Haha, yes it has to be a new plastic bag! An old one would just look cheap. 😂

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          1. Now I’m tempted to steal a few plastic bags in the grocery store, apply them on the head and take selfies.

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          2. I’ll do my plastic bag selfie once you do your unpacking the pizza video 😉

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          3. You got yourself a deal!

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          4. I just brought home a very elegant fashion plastic bag that will convert perfectly into headwear.

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        2. Hahaha 😀 Of course, I was thinking of a used plastic bag with bread crumbs falling out of it and in my hair…

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          1. That would never do !

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          2. I could call it a conscious fashion choice – wearing recyclables…

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      2. I think I forgot to mention that the idea was that I look perfect even when it’s raining – I’m not sure about the plastic bag. Unless it has kitten print on it.

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      1. That would certainly make a statement. There are some delightful ones around !

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