I picked up my new earphones today after the recent regrettable incident when the cat chewed the old ones and downgraded me to mono sound. I didn’t spend as much time choosing the new earphones as usual – I didn’t even create a spreadsheet comparing the features of products that made it in the narrow selection.
I might be getting old and lazy (that is, less indecisive). That is good news because I spend most of my waking time making painstakingly overthought choices – for example, I evaluate which kind of pastry I should have for lunch at such length and so carefully that the baker is virtually selling me tickets to view the show.
I still haven’t lost it completely though, as I retain my habit of studying thoroughly instructions for use. (When I got my first smartphone, it took me several weeks to learn the user manual, the reading of which I pursued without even switching my phone on.) I also always read the fine print. (With much difficulty and with a magnifier.)
Here is what I learned after examining closely the tiny print on the box with my new earphones:
This product contains chemical known to the State of California to cause cancer, birth defects, or reproductive harm.
Whew. Good that I’m not in California. I’d hate to get the earphone kind of cancer, since I’ve already pretty much pre-ordered the kind of cancer caused by smoking. I would also hate to come to a reproductive defect which might cause me to reproduce, which I have no intention to.
I also need more details about what they call Limited Lifetime Warranty. How is it limited? Does it mean that the warranty is limited to cases when the product is not chewed up by your cat? And whose lifetime? Mine or that of the product? What’s the average life expectancy of an earphone set? This fine print poses more questions than it answers.