I’ve been on (and occasionally off) antidepressants probably since I was born. I’ve always been such a happy kid. As I’ve been busy being productive (when not procrastinating) for the last few weeks, it happened that I ran out of my meds and spent a while without them (a while means about three weeks in this case). Today I finally got down to wasting the time of everyone involved and went for an appointment with my therapist.
I’ve been feeling shockingly well since I stopped popping prescribed pills. Among the astonishing side-effects of not using antidepressants, I found out these:
- I no more sleep twelve hours a day. The extra four to six hours a day come in rather handy. I can now sit through an entire boring class without falling asleep. This makes a particular difference when you’re the teacher.
- I stopped feeling suicidal because I can’t be bothered. Now I incline to wait for my natural decease of whichever disease caused by smoking / stress / exertion / any combination thereof should befall me.
- I stopped craving food. I find no difference between eating a steak and eating my disgusting cooking, which usually involves soya, tofu and crisp bread (not all at the same time, if it’s any relief). This is quite practical when you cope with random people who constantly accuse you of being pregnant while you’re just fat.
I consulted these happenings with my therapist and approached her for advice. Sadly, she’s also on antidepressants, so she’s presumably too medicated to care. I tried to encourage her to share her opinion, using the stock phrase You tell me, I’m not a doctor. It didn’t work. Probably because I am a doctor, if not of medicine. Eventually the therapist concluded that I could just as well go without medication.
To my question as to whether I’m now officially cured or what, she replied nothing. I have my doubts about the curability of depression, but I decided against intimating them to her because, you know, I’m a doctor (I’m also a huge smartass, for your information). I wonder if my public health system-employed therapist is paid per patient because she insisted on setting another appointment for six weeks later. Whatever it’s good for. We just keep on disappointing each other.