What I Hated the Least Today 96/365: Questionable Questions


One of the reasons why I dislike dealing with people is (besides people) people’s inappropriate questions, comments and complaints. As I’m a woman of a certain age, the observation that I must be pregnant and if not, should be pregnant, is a recurring motif.

It started with greater intensity than ever some time last spring. My landlord, who had only seen me so far in a bulky coat which makes everyone look pregnant, checked on me (that is, his flat), gave my belly a meaningful stare and congratulated me on my pregnancy. I haven’t forgiven him for his immensely stupid remark yet (and never will), and I’m currently designing shirts with the warning printed on the stomach Not pregnant, just fat, deal with it.

Since then, I’ve had numerous encounters with people who refused to believe that I wasn’t pregnant. My allergist routinely cross-examines me to ascertain when I plan to get pregnant so that she doesn’t prescribe me contraindicated medication. So far it’s only her questioning that has been contraindicated.

Today I managed to add within twenty-four hours two embarrassing confrontations of this kind to my collection. The pharmacist from whom I tried to buy cough drops insisted on giving me a lie detector test to make sure that I was neither pregnant, nor nursing. Clearly, in her mind, there are no other acceptable conditions for a woman at reproductive age. Though with some hesitation, she did sell me the drops eventually.

Given my experience, I’ve grown slightly sensitive to people’s questionable questions. The second story of the day occurred in a cafe, where a polite waiter doing his job was trying to convince me to have a dessert with my coffee. I suspect he thought I was pregnant and craving sweets, or he correctly assumed that I wasn’t pregnant and incorrectly concluded that I needed the dessert consolation. I explained that I didn’t do desserts (or babies). I wonder if I’ll do a triple combo of the how-are-you-not-pregnant standoffs tomorrow.

25 thoughts on “What I Hated the Least Today 96/365: Questionable Questions

  1. Wow, that’s terribly rude! Smack ’em! I am a man of a certain age but look older than that certain age. Comes from too many lost weekends and weeks when the world was young and filled with magic.


    1. Haha 😀 I apparently look a bit younger than I am, especially when dressed up and with my make-up on, which has the disadvantage that my students often mistake me for one of their own. I do my best to look fierce. My best clearly isn’t good enough because it looks like I attract all kinds of questionable remarks. Sometimes I lose it and yell at people that I’m neither pregnant nor ever want to be and would they please shut up. Oops. It’s a topic I’m touchy about. I hate it when something is forced on or expected of me.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh dear Mara but you women of a certain age really do cop it don’t you. But never mind you stick to your guns and your cough drops and all will be well and stupid people will stay stupid and I’ll remain on my side of the world.
    I had a friend once, which may or may not surprise you, whose standard call on people was: People are fucked. Said it all in her opinion…


    1. For the better or the worse, I think that your friend was a wise person. So wise that I might actually like to meet her, though I never like to meet people. I’ll certainly stick to my cough drops and my evil eye. How dare anyone presume anything – or even presume to talk to me, right 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Exactly especially when their presumptions are just plain wrong. Humans are bad at being presumptive me included, one of my past relationships was a series of tirades about my ability to make assumptions which most of the time were wrong.
        So I shall make no assumptions about you Mara as that would be totally inappropriate as I would no doubt be wrong and who likes being wrong?


        1. You are welcome to presume as long as you keep your presumptions to yourself 😉 Even more than that, I welcome being judged because I’m judgy myself and try to balance things out in this odd way.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Well anytime you feel moved to ‘judge’ or ‘presume’ with me feel free to have a go…..a good ‘judge’ before breakfast can be just the thing to get the day off to an invigorating start…


    1. Unfuckwithable!! I love this. I think I heard it before but it doesn’t lessen my pleasure at (re)learning a new word. I assume it’s a synonym for zen. Of course, I also agree that people are fucked up. So am I.


      1. We all are! And yes, that’s got to be a synonym for zen! 🙂 great …

        English is funny that way, how you can make up new words, like the above. Since I watched Sopranos, religiously, I learned a lot 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh my! What a story, Mara. I feel for you. The judging world is horrible. I’ve had it myself, but in different categories through the years. My youngest daughter has suffered through insane prejudice for being a larger person. She was actually walking down the street as a teenager and some young fellows driving by her made a few rude remarks and threw a bottle of water at her. 😦


    1. It’s a shame that people can’t just mind their own business and refrain from poking into other people’s businesses. Actual shaming is horrible, it’s of course much worse than getting inappropriate comments. Strangely, I don’t get shamed but rather wolf-whistled and it’s equally irritating. I could kill the people who do that. In a particularly cruel and unusual manner.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I really enjoyed this post until I noticed the comment at the end about not doing babies or deserts. Babies hold no interest for me but I do think a desert rounds off a meal nicely. Not only that I think you may be doing grevious harm to the ice cream industry who search tirelessly for new and interesting flavour combinations for people like me who have had vanilla up to here!.Not only that, someone said to me not long ago, referring to my belly, ‘Is that fully paid for?’ This post has brought sad memories of that incident flooding back, however I am thinking of getting a T-shirt which says ‘Fully Paid For!’
    best wishes, Steve


    1. Haha, thank you for your wonderful comment! I’d choose a dessert rather than a baby (especially if I had to eat it), but currently I’m in one of the infrequent stages when I don’t fancy anything sweet. Normally I could live on sweets only, just not at the moment. I might have sugar poisoning.

      We should team up and create a new brand of shirts for real people in real life! “Fully Paid For” is an excellent slogan.

      Enjoy your weekend – and your dessert 😉 !

      Liked by 1 person

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