What I Hated the Least Today 87/365: Easter

This bag does not contain eggs

I’m a filthy little atheist. I believe neither in deities (except the Cat Goddess, at whose shrine I live) nor in traditions. The upside is not only that I’m solely responsible to myself (let’s avoid the term conscience here, it would be presumptuous to claim that I have one) but also that I don’t need to observe man-made traditions (let’s throw in here the classic catchphrase that traditions are social construct and gender is heteronormative – don’t worry if you have no clue what that means and go follow Shit Academics Say for more of the same).

I had known for about a week that Easter was approaching but it bore no relevance to me. At least so I thought until I was disproven – that is, until it showed up both that I thought wrong and that I didn’t think. I was walking past chocolate bunnies and eggs in shops noticing them fleetingly with my peripheral vision. I was thinking how come anyone buys that stuff when it’s a food fact universally acknowledged that you can’t find worse chocolate than the kind from which chocolate figures are made. Go and punish your kids by getting them some of those.

Idly stalking people in the interest of shooting them surreptitiously and calling it scenes of street life, I had been wondering for several days about the rise of a new phenomenon. I dubbed it the Egg Ecstasy aka Eggstasy. It consisted in the mass introduction of egg carriers of all sizes, the bigger the better, as a fashion accessory. Every other person in the street was walking around cradling lovingly an egg carrier. Did they expect to be attacked by a hoard of chicken-crazed hens looking for some eggs to sit on? Or was everyone going to some political meeting and since rotten tomatoes were out of stock, they equipped themselves with eggs? What the heck?

And then it clicked to me that it was Easter. Easter means eggs, supposedly everywhere. Across the Atlantic, the US President conceals his eggs and sends a bunch of kids in search of them. That’s a tradition to creep you out when you look at with non-US eyes, isn’t it? Meanwhile, in Eastern Europe, boys are being brought up to exercise domestic violence as they are encouraged to take the traditional walk from house to house, demand the women of each house to gather and then beat them up with a willow plaited stick. I swear I’m serious. Another tradition to make one sick, no matter what eyes you look at it with.

I’m happy to report that I didn’t receive any beating on the Easter Monday. It wouldn’t surprise me greatly if random strangers had tried to call, as it’s the tradition, but I was safely tucked away at the top of my ivory (brick, actually) tower (building, actually), with the door bell muted and minding my own business. Not minding my own business well enough, I ventured on Facebook and scrolled through a few posts. One of them was a complaint from an otherwise sensible person who was disparaged that she received a work-related email on the day of the Easter holiday. The point seemed to be that you are not supposed to work on holidays. (Let’s have a moment of silence now to let it sink in.)

So. Now. Please. Someone tell me why I shouldn’t work on holidays? Is this a new phenomenon that I’m missing, as I missed the spread of Eggstasy? Does it have to do with religion, which my barbaric background doesn’t allow me to appreciate? Has the socialist regime returned when I wasn’t looking? That one would explain it neatly. The last time I checked though my landlord still capitalistically demanded that I pay my rent (let’s insert a heart-felt passage of social inequity and other facts of life here). To conclude with a shocking revelation, I hereby assert that as long as I need to work to live, I shall work at any time I please. Also, I can’t help chuckling that I’m asserting my right to work.


Author: Mara Eastern

I'm a sardonic blogger, snapper, scribbler and rhymer; a virtual space invader who indulges in cheerful negativism, morbid self-deprecation and bleak humour.

17 thoughts

  1. I agree completely Mara. Work when you want to. I remember when I was working our senior students always had exams just before the Easter break which meant I would have 180 essays to mark and being an academic school you had to be very diligent in your marking so it took some time. I figured that was what the Easter break was all about in those days, getting these papers marked as best I could. I’d put some classical music/new age music on and away I would go…..
    These days Easter doesn’t have much meaning to me, its an inconvenient holiday when the shops are shut and people are going away and the roads get cluttered. I don’t give Easter eggs anymore, I figure my kids get enough from their partners and their kids get more chocolate than anyone should have in a year….though the really cringing thing is that soon they’ll be putting out Christmas stuff…..ugh……


    1. Thank you for your lovely comment! It’s exactly as you said – I had about 200 tests to mark, and naturally weekends/holidays are when you do it. Fortunately, I no more mark essays, just tests. Essays are horribly unrewarding to mark and extremely time-consuming, as you know.

      Now, let’s not talk about Christmas as yet, they’ve barely put down the Christmas decorations here – only to replace it with Easter decorations – and I dread when the Christmas version comes back on. Which is likely to be in late summer 😮

      Liked by 1 person

    1. You made me google the phrase to see whom I stole it from – as as non-native speaker, I don’t have phrases of my own but only phrases I stole. So, it appears that it’s what Theodore Roosevelt said about Thomas Paine. There you go.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m a filthy little atheist too and if someone came to my door to symbolically whip me with a stick, I would have dick-slapped them.
    If it were up to me, I’d never work. I fucking hate it. My job is just a pain in the ass. Boring shit: a waste of time and a waste of my life.


    1. Hahaha 😀 I’m positive the defence you suggest would work wonderfully. I shall not elaborate or I’d have to X-rate this blog.

      I hate it the least to report that I don’t hate my job the most. It’s also not clear what my job is. It’s not an eight to five thing and I work on completely different tasks at different times, so it’s not entirely mind numbing. As with most jobs, though, mine doesn’t make a difference either.


  3. Eggsquisite post, Mara. We get to know you a little bit more by the post. I find the Cardinal’s comment very refreshing 🙂. Where I come from, the more days off work, the happier they get.

    In the US, «right-to-work» is a law, in certain states. Check it out some time …

    Why do you say ‘filthy’ about being an atheist?! To me, anyone can be whatever they want to … as long as they not try to force it upon me.


    1. Thank you! I suspect it must be terrifying to get to know me. I’m always terrified when I learn a new fact about myself.

      I suspected that the right-to-work was a thing that I saw somewhere. It’s impossible that I would come up with anything original. The US law is something different than I’d expect. I think unions don’t work the same here. Also, there are no unions for the unemployed, for temp help and for the self-employed. So no unions for me 😦

      I said “filthy little atheist” as a turn of phrase, and I think “filthy” very much describes my commitment to cynicism. Which I hope I’m not imposing on anyone. I find different worldviews refreshing – precisely for as long as I’m allowed to have one of my own, controversial as it might be. And I’m afraid it is controversial to come out as a convinced atheist…


      1. I have a feeling … and I underscore, it’s just my feeling … that it’s more controversial here, in North America, to state you’re an atheist, than it is back home. There, people right and left say they’re atheists, and nobody raises an eyebrow. Several of them, I’m not so sure … when you start discussing with them, I’d rather label them “spiritual/searching” than atheist. They just use the wrong term.

        Here, I think you could get questions like “but what do you teach your children then?” [if you had any] and stuff like that.


        1. Exactly. It’s mostly North America where I’d be scared to come out as a nonbeliever. I get the feeling that not believing is akin to being a criminal. On the other hand, when you assert that you’re a Christian in my country, people are most likely to laugh at you. Which is a somewhat immature response, but it’s happening.


          1. In my country, if I were to state I’m a Christian [or in any way religious], I would get all kinds of suspicious glances, and whispers behind my back. Then they wouldn’t know how to behave around me. That’s not very mature either.


  4. rofl 😀
    we are marking Easter in the end of this month, and it’s pretty big in Eastern Orthodox world… I’m such a traditional gurl, I love the whole dying eggs thing, then walking around with stained fingers for a week lol… but the boyz love it too… and we enjoy the days off (work and school) … so – yey, for eggstasy 😀

    d dump


    1. I see! Of course, there’s an essential meaning to Easter for believers, and then it makes all the sense to follow the Easter traditions. It just never ceases to surprise me why my country celebrates all the Christian holidays when we are a bunch of atheists. Have a fun Easter!


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