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We have a charwoman (not to be confused with chairwoman) in our building. I adore her. Sure, I hate people as a whole and many people as individuals (I’m an old bitter woman, you see), but I do like our charwoman. What I find amazing about her (completely unironically) is that she does her job properly. Hardly anyone does these days.

What makes the charwoman even more likeable is that my cat likes her. The cat always sprints to the door when she hears the charwoman’s bucket and proceeds to sit down in front of the door and stare at the woman at work (through the solid door). I sit next to the cat and wait for the charwoman to depart—so that I could rearrange my doormat back into perfect symmetry, parallel with the threshold.

The charwoman does her (our) cleaning so thoroughly that she always moves everyone’s doormats to clean underneath them (what the hell, even I don’t move my doormat when I clean, and I clean obsessively). So this is for the nameless charwoman of our building, whose work I deeply appreciate.

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Posted by Mara Eastern

I'm a sardonic blogger, snapper, scribbler and rhymer; a virtual space invader who indulges in cheerful negativism, morbid self-deprecation and bleak humour.

24 Comments

  1. send her to my doorstep next

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    1. Haha 😀 I would, but I’m not sure she would be happy with the commute.

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  2. Add me next on the list . OMG, does dirt collect under mats ?!

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    1. I imagine dirt does collect under mats, in the course of time, but I never thought it necessary to move the mat to see. One I put a mat somewhere, it’s stuck there and that’s the end of story. Oh wait, I do move the small bathroom mat to wash the floor under it, but that’s the only thing.

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  3. Great … wish she could read this! We have a cleaning lady … I see her often around the building. We had another one before her. She got fired because she was too chatty with the tenants. In the corridor outside here, there’s wall-to-all carpeting, so once a week [I think] she vacuums. McDuff hates that. He sits and hisses by the door. Each time. We’ve lived here for almost eight years 🙂

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    1. Poor McDuff! Maybe he hates the vacuum cleaner. My cat is scared of the vacuum, though I use it daily. She is clearly intrigued by the charwoman though. The charwoman comes several times a week and she’s thorough and efficient. Amazing. I was thinking I would thank her for her work the next time I see her, but then I decided it would be creepy…

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      1. Since we bought the Dyson, I use it every day, but he’s still scared of it. Or … annoyed, I think would be more appropriate.

        I’m sure the little old ladies in this building give her something for Christmas .. This one isn’t much of a talker, so she’ll get to keep her job, I guess LOL

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        1. I think I’d encourage talking in cleaners, though I can see why someone might think different. My cat doesn’t mind the charwoman’s vacuum but she fears my stick vacuum. Maybe she is afraid I might ask her to vacuum her own hair since she’s the one who makes the most mess.

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          1. LOL my husband asked me, the other day, if I’d ever tried to vacuum McDuff!!! Oh boy, we wouldn’t see him for several days if I tried something like that. We have a stick vacuum too … love i t!

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          2. Hahaha 😀 I never attempted to vaccum the cat but occasionally I lint roll her. She doesn’t mind. She’s a very phegmatic creature.

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          3. Somtimes I soak one of those ‘micro-fibre’ rags in lukewarm water, and wipe him down with that. He doesn’t mind that. I’m thinking perhaps I manage to get some nicotine out of his fur that way 🙂

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          4. Haha, poor thing, does he smell of cigarettes? I know that I do, though I use a special set of clothes dedicated to smoking only, so my regular clothes wouldn’t get soaked in the smell. Never mind how much of a smoker I am, I don’t like cigarette smell.

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          5. He probably does … I can’t smell it myself, since we both smoke in here. I know — it’s a terrible thing, but at this point in time, it won’t change. Good idea, about the special set of clothes!

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          6. I was wondering about how McDuff smells because I’m a creep who smells her cat… I’m always surprised that she doesn’t smell nasty, not the animal smell you get at zoos, for example.

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          7. He actually smells extremely clean — I always sniff him 🙂 … part of the bonding procedure!

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          8. Exactly! My cat smells very clean and fresh, I have no idea how she does that… And thank you for sniffing your cat too, I was worried there was something radically wrong with me.

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          9. Ha ha! I always sniff him on the head, in particular … and mumble little terms of endearment at the same time LOL

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          10. Here is to cat head sniffing people! I´m one of them. Just like you, I tell the cat that I hate her the least, ruffle her fur on the head and sniff her. Sounds mad now that I type it…

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          11. I know … I’ve never typed it up before *LOL*!

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  4. I love the description of how your cat is entertained!

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    1. My cat is a queer fish. Or a queer cat 😉 She habitually stares into walls and doors, and she often observes the ceiling with great interest. She’s probably seeing ghosts.

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      1. Keen observer, that cat!

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  5. My son says I worship the God of rugs. Because I kneel as I rearrange them in perfect symmetry, with the door, the sofa, the kitchen sink… I have many rugs and carpets.

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    1. I worship the god of OCD. Everything, by which I mean everything in my flat is symmetrically arranged. Including the glass of water on my table. It has its spot like Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory…

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