I made some dubious life choices, including completing a PhD in English Literature. The result rendered me perfectly useless for job market but highly increased my credit. I don’t mean my bank credit, on which the effect was rather the opposite, I mean my street credit.
Obviously, having a PhD means one is not a real doctor. I’ve been affectionately called vet, as vets are not real doctors either. On the other hand, I’ve been receiving cute emails with the salutation Dear Doctor Mara because in my region academic titles are all the rage.
I got one of these emails today, felt vaguely flattered for no good reason, and then responded with a standard salutation translatable as Dear Ms Whateveryournameis, not even bothering to look up the person’s potentially existing academic titles and completely getting her name wrong.
I think I’ve proven beyond doubt that I’m indeed a PhD holder. In this case PhD translates as pathetically and hopelessly dysfunctional. I think I’ll register this domain name. It’s totally a thing.