What I Hated the Least Today 46/365: Knowledge

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I’ve realised that I possess a frightening amount of non-marketable, non-transferable and non-useable specialist knowledge. A small fraction of it is a professional knowhow which hypothetically might be useful but practically is not.

Sure, I could edit your bibliography with absolute precision in Chicago Style with my eyes closed, standing on the chair and reciting Baudelaire’s “The Carcass” in a Czech translation while drunk (that explains the recitation), but what’s the point? There is roughly 1 per cent of relevant world population who could tell and appreciate the quality of my Chicago, out of which 99 per cent are the creators of Chicago Style. The remaining 1 per cent is me and a few other sad individuals who effectively excluded themselves from the pleasure of reading anything without editing it. You wouldn’t believe what an editorial mess even academic publications by reputable publishers are.

The largest part of my useless knowledge comprises bizarre titbits (not bits of tits, though that’s my mnemotechnic aid for remembering this odd word, also spelled tidbit in American English), which I must have unwittingly collected from the depths of darknet. My brain has a unique super skill in detecting and engraving with the sharpness of steel anything obscure and obscene and anything that is of no use to anyone ever. For example, the other day when I was procrastinating on FML, I realised with horror that I was fluent in English Internet slang. I don’t mean the usual LOLs and WTFs, I mean acronyms so arcane with meanings so outrageous that I shall not quote them on a public blog. I added to the word bank an acronym of my own: ISBW = I should be working. Because, you know, ISBW.

24 thoughts on “What I Hated the Least Today 46/365: Knowledge

  1. It’s a shame you can’t put it all to good use! I’ve never studied the way you have, but over the years acquired plenty of useless knowledge [remember Kladno and the graphite electrodes?! LOL] For twelve years, I worked at the same place, first American and later German. I learned a heck of a lot of specialized, technical terminology that I couldn’t use anywhere else. For some stupid reason, I also remember lots of phone numbers from that era (!!!) … even long ones, to other countries. I wish I could clear my brain’s cache, like I do on the computer 🙂

    I do remember some of those acronyms, but I was never too much into it. The kids used to have something for ‘parents looking over shoulder’ and stuff like that 🙂

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    1. I’m sort of relieved that I’m not the only person afflicted with a brilliant memory – for completely useless stuff. It’s incredible that you remember phone numbers! I never remember numbers. I hardly remember my address. It’s precisely what I thought though, I wish I could just clear the cookies or even wipe the hard drive to get more space for things that are actually relevant.

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      1. There’s something about numbers … even though I was totally useless at math in school. Got the lowest grade, only because I had attended … otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten any at all.

        But yes, one company’s phone number in London, UK, I still remember … and it’s really long 🙂

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        1. I see you’ve been scar(r)ed for life… Numbers I find impossible to remember, words are easier. Too easy, sometimes. The last year of my secondary school, I nearly failed at maths, but ended up a near fail at maths and physics. These things are beyond me.

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          1. When I was a kid, in school … if someone had managed to make it interesting … I think the situation could have been different. In the Swedish school system, you cannot flunk … LOL everyone is put through.

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          2. Well, you can flunk here, but it doesn’t happen often and some schools find it more expedient not to flunk anyone for sure. I’m happy I got through the secondary school. That was seriously the toughest.

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          3. I’ve lost the grip of the Swedish school system, but the general idea was that flunking them might hurt their little personalities LOL

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          4. Oh I see! That’s a nice sentiment, but I doubt I’d be doing anything if I knew I couldn’t fail. I would probably just ignore some subjects…

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          5. Yes. I don’t know that it’s been very good. It’s something about the whole mentality of the people … it’s not okay to say that you’re good, because that could be considered bragging, and that’s a no no. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_Jante]. I think it’s slowly changing, but the other part … about kids and not ‘hurting their little personalities’, that has grown out of proportions.

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          6. Oh wow, never heard of the Law of Jante before. It’s not a thing here, though what happens is that you’re more likely to be just criticised and never praised. Successful people are assumed to have achieved success by illicit means. We’re a very envious people…

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          7. LOL Great! It’s sort of crazy fun. It got even funnier for us, since we were avid Sopranos watchers — it felt so odd to see him, as this character.

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          8. I’ll start Sopranos once my free month on Netflix ends. The version of Netflix offered in my region is embarrassingly limited – perhaps a hundred TV series altogether, half of it animated. No Sopranos and very much nothing I tried to find there was available.

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  2. I came across a word last week I have never heard of – don’t know if it’s techno speak or not.Do you, in your wisdom, know the meaning of ‘noob’ ?

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