I have abs. They can be neither seen nor felt, but now I know I have them, hiding in the jelly of my belly. I know because I pulled a muscle in my stomach when practising yoga. You’d be surprised that I can effectively cripple myself even when doing something as harmless as yoga.
Currently I’m on Yoga with Adriene, who is constantly so super excited that I sometimes succumb to the delusion that I can do it because I got it, as she mistakenly claims. As a revenge, I turned Adriene into a stick figure. I added myself and the cat, who is my natural extension.
In my graphic illustrations, notice Adriene’s flawless poses contrasted to my personalised versions of them. Also notice how thin Adriene is. In the interest of self-flagellation, I drew myself with a side boob, a bulging belly and an enormous butt. Also, obviously, I can’t draw.