What I Hated the Least Today 39/365: Purring


It’s not that I’m paranoid, but my cat is a surveillance drone. Despite the sophistication of her programming, her software isn’t catty enough. Let me sum up the results of my research into domestic cats versus drone cats in a table.

Features Domestic cat Drone cat
Purrs Yes No
Eats meat Yes No
Climbs everywhere Yes No
Scratches stuff Yes No
Rides Roombas Yes No

It is clear from the above findings that my cat isn’t a cat. However, my drone cat must have downloaded a software update today, which challenged my conspiracy hypothesis. Though she stopped purring when she grew out of her kitten months, today she purred. Three times, for two or three seconds overall. The purring feature is probably still in a beta version. I shall observe and report on its further development.

Meanwhile, here’s also a video proof that my cat isn’t a catβ€”a madcap ad showing people acting like cats (go figure). My cat does none of these things.


Author: Mara Eastern

I'm a sardonic blogger, snapper, scribbler and rhymer; a virtual space invader who indulges in cheerful negativism, morbid self-deprecation and bleak humour.

25 thoughts

  1. Your lucky that your cat doesn’t scratch stuff. My daughter moved in with her three cats over a year ago and I need a new couch already. They love scratching the corners. I tried taping the corners, so now they do it underneath and behind the couch when no one is looking. I need a couch covered with tape. Love the photo of your fur baby.


    1. Yes, I am lucky in my cat, she’s a very well-behaved kitty. But she’s so well-behaved that I sometimes wonder if she’s a cat at all really. She has one thing, though, it’s chewing/playing with the blinds. But it’s much better since I taped them with double-sided tape.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Well my cat Sylvester does some of those things but not all. Sylvester loves chasing points of light! Past cats have engaged in various behaviors. As for dressing up as a cat I was Cat Woman (channeling Eartha Kitt) Halloween 2011 but that’s as far as things went!! LOL!!


    1. Sylver is a normal cat πŸ˜€ Mine is abnormal, she’s grown so lazy recently that she can’t be bothered chasing the laser dot anymore. She just stares at it, with great interest, but she doesn’t run.

      I was dressed as a cat once, as a kid, so it was acceptable. Now that I read your comment, I feel like trying the cross-dressing again πŸ˜‰


  3. LOL @ the video!!!

    McDuff, 11 going on 12, has just realised that ground beef is good. Before, he never touched the stuff. He used to scratch, but not so much anymore. I think with age, he’s become more dignified πŸ™‚

    Strange she doesn’t purr!?


    1. You’re lucky in McDuff too! Yes, I think it’s probably with age that cats get calmer.

      I researched how come that my cat doesn’t purr, but it’s no reason to be upset, apparently some cats just don’t. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re depressed. Mine actually purrs, but inaudibly, when I put my finger gently against her throat, I can feel it vibrating as she purrs, but I can’t hear it. My cat always has to have something special…


      1. She’s a low-purrer. When McDuff is lying around, purring, I can see how something is vibrating somewhere on his abdomen. I guess that’s where the purr-engine is located LOL


          1. I think I’ve read that somewhere … that only cats and lions purr. But now I’m not sure … will check that out again. At least, not all felines purr …


          2. I realise that the lack of audible purring doesn’t disqualify my cat from being a cat, but there are other discomforting signals. I’ve grown concerned recently because the cat started to follow me to the bathroom every.single.time. She even wakes up for it specifically. She must be a surveillance device. Or maybe she just misses me…


          3. No, lions don’t purr … gawd, there’s so much to read about this so it’s overwhelming. Lions would like to purr but they can’t LOL. I think cheetahs purr … or not. I don’t know.


          4. Lions would like to purr but can’t, haha πŸ™‚ I will assume that my cat would like to purr but can’t either. She doesn’t have the voice.


    1. I’m glad you liked it! I had so much fun with the video, it’s so weird and yet so hilarious. I’ve watched it about a dozen times. And I think that my cat is a drone of all things because she literally stalks me everywhere. Especially the bathroom.


        1. Great πŸ™‚ I’m intrigued about the making of the video – I assume they must have built a special Roomba to carry an adult and to set up curtains so solid that they held the man cat hanging from them…


  4. Lol – does this mean my dog is a surveillance drone cat as she follows me everywhere ? I had a cat once that never stopped purring. And whenever she purred she also dribbled. LOTS. Be greatful for a soft purrer who doesn’t dribble πŸ™‚


    1. Haha, nope, please don’t suspect your pet of being a drone, my mental processes are sometimes weird! I never heard of a dribbling cat and I am pretty please mine doesn’t dribble. I thought dribbling was reserved for dogs!

      Liked by 1 person

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