It’s not that I’m paranoid, but my cat is a surveillance drone. Despite the sophistication of her programming, her software isn’t catty enough. Let me sum up the results of my research into domestic cats versus drone cats in a table.
|Features||Domestic cat||Drone cat|
It is clear from the above findings that my cat isn’t a cat. However, my drone cat must have downloaded a software update today, which challenged my conspiracy hypothesis. Though she stopped purring when she grew out of her kitten months, today she purred. Three times, for two or three seconds overall. The purring feature is probably still in a beta version. I shall observe and report on its further development.
Meanwhile, here’s also a video proof that my cat isn’t a cat—a madcap ad showing people acting like cats (go figure). My cat does none of these things.