What I Hated the Least Today 34/365: Requalification


Since my depression is not as severe as it could be, I thought I should work on aggravating it and with this aim in mind I revisited the forbidding building of the (un)employment agency. I submitted a request to be requalified as a geek. My demand is unlikely to be approved because of its nature—I’m actually asking the employment agency to do something useful for me so, which denies all intents and purposes of the agency service. I’m not sure what the agency’s purpose is really, I presume to push papers and keep appearances.

I personally felled an ancient oak and processed it into a huge box of paper, on which I then painstakingly printed and filled in the forms required to apply for a requalification. (OK, so I didn’t fell the tree in person, but everything else is legit.) I hope my forms won’t rustle away the tale of how much hysterical hilariousness I enjoyed while filling them in.

For example: State your work experience in years/months in the field of requested requalification. What about: I’ve been working as a baker all my life and I wish to be requalified in the same field. I wrote: I haven’t worked in this field so far, which is why I request requalification. I hope it didn’t come out ironic. Judging from the forms they distribute, the agency has zero sense of irony.


Author: Mara Eastern

I'm a sardonic blogger, snapper, scribbler and rhymer; a virtual space invader who indulges in cheerful negativism, morbid self-deprecation and bleak humour.

41 thoughts

    1. It’s a shame that it’s the same everywhere… While I prefer to help myself, I could use some help this time. But the agency seems to be well satisfied with having all their forms filled in, stamped and filed away, regardless of if it’s good for anything or not. Well, I’ll keep you posted, this wasn’t my last visit 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Oh my! This all sounds so familiar! The stupid forms. Here, in Canada, I’ve never had any experiences so I know nothing, but I do know a lot about the Swedish ones. Their aim in life is to get people OUT of the unemployment statistics as quickly as possible. Doesn’t matter what they do … as long as they aren’t registered as ‘unemployed’. So … they send them on all kinds of made up courses. If you take one of their courses for six months, then you qualify for another period of unemployment benefits, so then they don’t have to do anything more with you for that time.

    If you ever get a chance to watch a Norwegian TV-series named Lily Hammer, please do LOL but it won’t be any good for exacerbating your depression 😀


          1. Actually, since just a few weeks, civilisation and Netflix are available in my region too, in English. I’ll try it after my subscription to another streaming site expires. I need to know why everyone loves it 😀

            Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s quite frustrating to hear that nowhere in the world do the employment agencies actually work towards employing people. Scandinavia sounds quite fun, though, at least they send you for courses. I’m having a hard time begging them to be sent to a course of my choice, which would actually help me to get a job. I’ll need to check out the series! It’s not on my usual TV site, but I’m thinking of trying Netflix. I hate it that I have to subscribe first to see what they offer, you can’t just browse to check if it’s worth subscribing too.


      1. No, is that really true … that you have to subscribe to view their selection?! I can’t believe it! At least they give you the first month free — that should give you some idea of what they have.

        The courses they offer/encourage you to take in Scandinavia are often quite hilarious — they’re made up for their own purpose. They could have titles like «Work for Me» [in English], where they supposedly learn how to apply for a job. They take walks, and talk about the importance of taking care of one’s health and not getting burned out.


        1. You’re right though, there is a free month on Netflix. I’ll try it once my current subscription to another site expires. But I really can’t find a way to view their selection without registering first. It’s not that I’m going to die over it but it’s weird.

          I don’t think I’d like to take walks as part of requalification, but at least I’d get among people 🙂 Could be a fun support group.


          1. I signed out of our subscription, and couldn’t find any way of viewing it. That’s really weird.

            Yeah, they seemed to have a lot of fun too … they brought cookies, ‘n stuff like that. An online buddy took one course last year 🙂


          2. No, it’s very popular. We watch it, mainly, on the TV. It still bugs us that we can’t get the same selection as in the US, but it’s like that for all countries. Something about rights ‘n stuff …


          3. Yep. It’s all about rights restrictions. I know it too well, as my country is probably one of the most restricted regions – with the exception of sensitive regions under embargo of course.


          4. I understand, fully. Here one gets annoyed, though … we’re so close to our big neighbour in the south … we even share a common country code on the phone, but when it comes to Netflix, and many other, online things … we’re out!


          5. If it’s any comfort to you (which it is not), I think Canadian culture and lifestyle is much more preferable than the US one 😉 It’s not that I’m an expert, but I took a course on Canada at the uni and I loved what I learned.


          6. Yes. I was anticipating it, watched the first episode and almosed died from embarrassment. I found it terrible. Perhaps I would have found it funny if I’d been of a different descent.

            Series like that, I find funny when they’ve managed to pin-point things and quirks that we really DO … that really exist, but this was over the top.


          7. Yes, I’m occasionally embarrassed about the show too… But there are some moments I like. I don’t laugh at the Swedes though, to me they represent common sense, I have fun with the ridiculous American guy 🙂


          8. That one episode I watched … it both had me mad and embarrassed. They could have done so much better, and still been funny. Many Americans who watch it, will most likely believe that this is the way it is, unfortunately. Just like they think that all Swedish women are tall and blonde and can’t pronounce the word “joke” [supposedly they’d say “yoke” and I’ve yet to meet someone who says that … never heard it]. But there are stereotypes for all people … 😀


          9. Haha, true, Americans tend to be gullible, I think, when it comes to prejudice about Europe 😉 On the other hand, whenever Eastern Europe is shown on TV, it’s presented as the land of gangers. Never as anything else.


          10. Remember that guy from Slovakia … he went back to visit, in the mid 80’s. We were all excited for his sake, so when he got back we all wanted to know what it was like. First thing he said was: «Well … it was grey …»


    1. Well, in my frustration, I wasn’t quite clear, but the idea is: I’d like to apply to be requalified in a course of my choice. I needed to fill in a lot of paperwork, including a detailed explanation of why I wanted the requalification. And one of the forms I was filling in asked me about my previous experience in the field for which I wish to be requalified: it makes no sense to me, if I had previous experience/qualification in this field, why would I want to requalify for it…? This is going to be much more fun, I suspect, so I’ll keep you posted when about my next visit 🙂


  2. I hope your quest to re-depress yourself is unsuccessful due to a wonderful job opening up for you. Again, it was fun to laugh at your misery though.


    1. I usually get inexplicably cheered up in depressive situations, so I perversely enjoyed my visit to the agency. I should know in three weeks or so if they’ll pay for my requalification or not. Of course, I’ll keep you posted 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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