What I Hated the Least Today 33/365: Bugged

18 comments

033

My flat has been bugged. Buggers. I don’t mean surveillance bugs, unless the big brothers in FBI or KGB are using actual bugs as spy drones. I woke up hearing tapping sounds as something was making contact with the blinds. I was about to yell at the cat to cut it or she’ll take the blinds down and they’ll cut her neck, but the cat sat in the middle of the room and her fixed stare was blaming me for whatever on earth she was upset about at the moment. Her alibi was convincing.

I opened the window to air, at which point the cat suddenly went mobile and sprinted with unusual agility to the window in question. There she sat down, bulged her eyes, commenced rapid head movements and was swinging her tail from left to right with great agitation. I’m not against the cat sweeping the floor, though I’d prefer her to use the vacuum instead of her shedding tail. I knew now that there was a bug in the flat. I couldn’t see it, but the cat sees the invisible and I trust her on bugs.

When I put my glasses on, my vision was resumed and I spotted a perfectly visible bug sitting cheekily on the ceiling. The bastard. I harbour an extraordinary hatred for bugs. In moments of intellectual clarity, I may acknowledge that bugs have the right to exist too, but they automatically lose all their rights the second they trespass in my territory. I attempted to vacuum the bug, my favourite terminating method. It didn’t quite work out, so I just battered it with the vacuum.

The cat was disappointed because she planned to spend her day watching the bug and doing absolutely nothing to take care of it. I was disappointed to disappoint the cat, but then disappointment is her chosen lifestyle. She must have got it from me. I was also proud of my presence of mind when facing the invader. It takes guts to gut a bug with a vacuum. Bring it on, bugs, I may be afraid of you but I shall still kill you. No one attacks me with impunity.

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18 comments on “What I Hated the Least Today 33/365: Bugged”

  1. I will not have my place invaded by bugs either! Happy for them to live in peace outside, where they belong. But BIG danger if they dare cross the border into enemy territory. I splatter flies (my pet hate inside along with ants) with a rolled up newspaper. I’m very accurate.

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    1. I’m glad we agree on this one! You’re a brave girl to splatter bugs with newspapers, I’d be squeamish about the mess. But it’s either me or the bugs, and I’ll always prefer me ๐Ÿ˜‰

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  2. My cat is also an amazing bug spotter. She does like to agitate the bugs until they pretend to be dead in the middle of the room. After which I have to find the courage to do something about it. Never thought of gutting it with the vacuum. Thanks for the idea!

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    1. Wow, your kitty is actually helpful! My cat sees any bug but she just tries to outstare it and never seriously attempts to kill it. It’s disappointing. I thought she’d be more helpful. The vacuum is good when it works, you kill the bug and dispose of it in one take ๐Ÿ™‚

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    1. So it’s not just my dumb cat? My cat never killed anything in her life, not even when she lived outdoors with another cat who was a great hunter. I wonder if she’s a conscientious objector.

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  3. I agree on all accounts with regards to bugs. The vacuum is good, but one time I wondered if they could live and reproduce, somehow in the plastic canister, so I had to empty it immediately. Bugs give me the creeps ๐Ÿ™‚
    Any idea what type of bug it could possibly have been?

    McDuff is good at bug spotting. One time I noticed he ate one … I spontaneiously thought ยซeww!!!ยป but as an afterthought ‘it’s all good and normal’.

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    1. Haha, yes, I was wondering if the bug lives on in the vacuum too. But I haven’t figured out a more convenient bug elimination method as yet. I don’t know what kind of bug it was that I eliminated, I don’t distinguish between bugs. As long as it’s a bug, I kill it anyway.

      When my cat lived outdoors with another, semi-wild cat, the latter would catch rodents all the time and both would eat them… Not because they were hungry but just so. It wasn’t nice to look at at first, but then, it’s the cat’s natural food… I’m glad she doesn’t have any more rodents to eat, though, I was always worried about what diseases she could get from them.

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      1. A co-worker, back home had an outdoor cat. One night, as she was just sitting around, watching TV, the cat came in … bumped her legs to get her attention. She [the cat] was utterly proud, because she’d placed the head of a squirrel at her human’s feet! LOL

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        1. A squirrel! That must be quite hard to get. I’m always amazed at cats who catch birds. It takes a lot of skill, apparently.

          The hunting cat hunted down a few rabbits too, it was quite a horror show. And when there was nothing to hunt, she killed a lizard…

          Liked by 1 person

  4. My Tuxedo cat Sylvester has a gift for not only spotting but retrieving waterbugs which are big large gigantic roaches!! Ugh!! He bats them around, kills them then has the audacity to bring them to my bedroom and at least once into my bed!! I’m sure my screams reached several decibels and octaves as well as shattering some glass objects. So far this year 2016 he has not made me any huge six legged gits. May the rest of the year be bug free! Bugs may be sentient beings but they need to sentient their obnoxious beings far, far away from my home.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ooh, that’s lovely! Sort of… At least he has the killer instinct. My cat has no idea that she’s supposed to kill creatures. She’s too spoiled. Now, of course, you’ll need to teach Sylvester to dispose of his catches in the bin rather than on your bed ๐Ÿ˜ฎ I know what kind of bugs you mean and I’m creeped out by these!

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