I’m now certified to perform acts of reckless cruelty on children and adults—by teaching them English. My certificate for teaching essentials by British Council arrived electronically today. For my certificate, I was forced to submit to acts of extreme cruelty myself by participating in a moderated online course. It was moderately horrendous, as most things in life—why, yes, of course I’m a negativist.
Whether I approve or not, I now perfectly understand why many of my teachers were frustrated individuals who were relieving themselves by torturing children in class. No need to be alarmed though, I’m not seeking a full-time lifelong career in education. I’ve just become addicted to collecting diplomas of little practical purpose besides their potential to be used as a wallpaper when redecorating.