What I Hated the Least Today 29/365: Emergency

43 comments

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This is about the cat. Again. But I swear it’s a cat story the like of which you never heard before.

My cat woke me up, as usual, at an ungodly (and unmanly) early hour of the morning, when she was amusing herself by chewing the blinds. I’m not at my finest when disturbed from sleep, so I was considering throwing a box of tissues in direction of the aggressor, but then I refrained from throwing something I might need later for myself. I just clapped my hands (the signal for the cat to stop, which I perform at any waking or sleeping state reflexively like Pavlov’s drooling dogs), and the cat, momentarily dissuaded, moved with audible snort of disgust to the other window.

The story starts here. Before I managed to tuck myself in again, the cat started to meow in the extremes of distress. My maternal (caternal) instincts made me instantly wide awake, and I jumped out of the bed quite athletically to check the kitty. Increasingly alarmed, I observed her curled up and choking violently. Has she chewed off and swallowed a piece of the blinds? She didn’t proceed to throw up, but instead slided from the window sill to the floor on three legs only. I was horrified. What’s happened to her paw? And then I saw she had her paw in her mouth, stuck inside by her nail.

Wondering if my cat was suicidal, I attempted to release her. To say that she didn’t cooperate is an understatement. After several failed attempts, I called nine one one (the cat version of it) on one line and suicide line on the other line. I assured the cat emergency that I wasn’t joking (the call girl, I mean the girl staff member, clearly doubted the credibility of my story), and I was advised to go on trying and call back. To cut the story short (while my agony was much longer), I did manage the free the dumb cat from herself. Seconds later she meowed at me in a friendly manner and went on to crunch some dry food.

The cat survived intact, but I was badly shaken. Also, the cat nearly killed me in the process of killing herself, as I later discovered a long slash across my thigh incurred in the struggle. She had a near miss of my artery. I’ll need more Diazepam and a spare cat in case the current one commits suicide by gutting herself.

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43 comments on “What I Hated the Least Today 29/365: Emergency”

    1. I should be probably worried. I seem to have a curious skill of writing nasty stories even about something so lovely as kittens 😮 I’m happy to report, though, that the cat surprisingly (and thankfully) didn’t hurt herself at all. It looked worse than it turned out 🙂

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          1. Over on this side of the pond we usually cook it on the grill, so, yeah, I’m sure rainbow unicorn goulash would be much better…. 😉

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          2. Oh no, you can’t put tough gamey meat on the grill! I know nothing about cooking, but this much I know. When the meat is tough, you put it in goulash. End of cooking lecture.

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  1. My goodness … what a story!!! I feel the agony you must have been in. Ughhh … I don’t even want to think about it, but it was a very strange story. Cats are amazing that way. So you have a 911 for animals there! I don’t think they have here. One time, back home, I called up an old, retired vet 11 o’clock at night because I was hysterical. He was not impressed. Hadassah, my cat, had an ingrown toenail, the whole paw had gotten infected and it burst, so there was blood on the floor. She was a Persian, with a very big fur … hence I hadn’t seen it, and she didn’t limp or anything. Had it taken care of the following day.

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    1. I know, right, the human is always far worse off than the cat! I suspect my cat is extremely dumb, she’s smart in some ways, but this incident I really didn’t get… I live in a town of 100.000 people and we have several non-stop vet clinics here, so I just called one for advice. I can’t imagine having no non-stop vet. What are you supposed to do when there’s an emergency?? I can’t imagine what you must have been true when waiting all night for Hadassah to get his treatment. Huh.

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      1. Thankfully, I have not yet been in a situation here, where I’d have had to check it out. There are animal hospitals here, and probably they take turns in having an emergency line. I definitely think so. Yours is about the same size as Saint John then.

        Hadassah was patient, and she must have had a very high threshold for pain.

        Speaking of ‘threshold’; far back in my memory I have something about Praha meaning threshold. Could that be something?!

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        1. Haha, that’s funny and something I didn’t think of! Yes, “prah” is threshold in Czech, but it never occurred to me to associate it with Praha! And now I checked and it actually appears to be derived from the word threshold. You totally put me to shame now. I had no idea.

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          1. There you go … I knew two things about your country; frog and threshold. Talk about meaningless knowledge *ROFL*

            Often those totally pointless little things, I’ve heard way back, perhaps I was even a teenager … for some reason they stick! 🙂

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    1. I was in worse shape than the cat. She recovered miraculously – I was relieved to see that she didn’t hurt herself at all, otherwise she wouldn’t probably go and eat dry food the first thing after I released her. She was totally chilled out in the aftermath while I had a hard time recovering from the shock that my cat is so dumb…

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  2. Oh no! These furry friends of ours do like to test our nerves and our cardiac health, don’t they? My three legged cat lost part of his tail this past week. I’m so glad your cat is OK.

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    1. It was a rare cardio workout for sure. And the cat didn’t even give a damn after I disentangled her. What’s your poor cat been up to? Does he hate all his limbs so much that he keeps on losing them…?

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          1. I was thinking a lot about adopting another cat, preferably an elderly one that has a hard time getting adopted, I hear black cats are unpopular for adoption too. But as I’m not sure how my current cat would react and if my bedsit is large enough for two cats, I more or less abandoned the idea. I guess I can’t save all the cats in the world.

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          2. I had such a hard time at the adoption event coming home with only one cat. My husband almost adopted a one-eyed cat the next week too. When we adopted Satchi, we checked that he had enjoyed the company of fellow foster cats. So there’s the possibility. On the other hand, my previous cat was definitely of the “only child” persuasion and would not have appreciated having a feline sibling at all. It’s so hard to know.

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    1. That’s a question I was waiting for someone to ask! A good one. I wrote about the incident because I found it hilarious in retrospect, and I can appreciate good blogging material 🙂 That’s what I hated the least about it.

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