What I Hated the Least Today 28/365: Shortcut

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The more I sleep, the more exhausted I feel. However, I’ve run out of food and I figured it wouldn’t boost my stamina to die of starvation. So, while yesterday I was high on Ibuprofen, today I administered Speed 8 (not the speed, but the ultimate legal mind and body stimulant) and unenthusiastically ventured out to get groceries.

I took a shortcut. Two, actually, if jaywalking also counts. (I’ve been very adventurous today, you see.) As some people would call it, I’m asking to be raped (or even worse, robbed) because I took the road less travelled. So little travelled, in fact, that you never meet anyone there.

I only met someone once in the shortcut. It was a group of young males, the prospect of which horrified me because I happened to be carrying home my new smartphone at that occasion. I was only partially relieved when the men approaching turned out to be Franciscan monks. My fears proved insubstantial, as they didn’t try to convert me.

Today I met no one in the shortcut, but I was met with loads of mud. This I anticipated, but I’d rather wade through mud than walk a bit farther than absolutely necessary. I was silly though to have taken Speed 8. I should’ve got me some Redbull, which gives you wings, so I could fly over the muddy stretch—or from door to door and back, for that matter.

This reminds me I have a broom at the terrace. I use it for snow shovelling for lack of better tools. Perhaps the broom could be converted into a flying machine even without the use of Redbull. After all, a cat I already have, so I’m half-witch. But I got taken away. Besides mud, I have nothing to report really. I know, right, what a disappointing story.

13 thoughts on “What I Hated the Least Today 28/365: Shortcut

  1. This was extremely funny! 🙂 Would you honestly prefer rape to getting mugged?

    Once, I’ve tried RedBull. I drank the whole can in one fell swoop, and then I waited with great anticipation. Absolutely NOTHING happened. I think it’s because I drink so much strong coffee normally, so this was like just another cuppa …

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    1. I’d prefer being neither raped nor mugged. But thank you for playing along with my rather insensitive black humour. I’m particular about crimes against property, things like vandalism, for example, always get me so worked up. What I fear most about my wallet being stolen is not the money but all the ID cards. Also my supermarket loyalty card 😉

      Energy drinks don’t do much for me these days, and the effect of Speed 8, which I used a lot at university, is quite weak now too. Perhaps, as you say, because I drink on average one coffee per each waking hour. Curiously, I’m almost permanently tired.

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      1. I’m almost hysterically careful about my purse/wallet, not only because of the credit cards, but also the permanent residency. Losing that would mean a hassle beyond comprehension.

        I’m tired too, but I would be even more tired if I didn’t drink coffee. Can’t increase the amount of coffee, then I get palpitations. I think it works like certain pills; you get ‘accustomed’ to it and need more and more to reach the desired effect 😉

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        1. Precisely. I’m hysterical about my wallet and I give bad looks to anyone who dares come near me because obviously everyone is a potential thief 😮 I had palpitations when I overdosed Speed 8, but I’m totally immune to this kind of thing now. For the better or worse.

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  2. It did sound like a pretty entertaining day for you. Shortcuts always get my heart pumping a little – you never know what will pass by your path 😀

    Sorry to hear you haven’t been sleeping well. That happens to me too all the time. When I get to sleep in, I sleep about 4 more hours than usual…but still wake up feeling hazy. It usually happens when I’ve got a lot to do or feel very stressed, sort of as if my body wants to wake up when I sleep, or at least my mind. Hence the tiredness 😀

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    1. It’s sad but probably all women all over the world fear shortcuts and dark alleys. Fortunately, I survived to tell the tale of nothing happening 🙂

      Stress is awful for sleep. I have it all the time, even for no special reason. I hardly slept when I was at the university and now I feel like my body fears sleep deprivation so much that it wants to sleep all the time… Well, we all must cope! 🙂

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      1. I think my body sort of works the way like yours. Each weekday I have this fear of oversleeping and being late for work. I’m a heavy sleeper and have been known to wake up when my alarm rings for the third time. Talk about stress 😀

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