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I’ve been to the vet. I mean, I’ve been to the vet with the cat. The cat was far less inconvenienced by our trip than I was. She retained her carefully cultivated phlegmatic attitude all the while when I was checking hysterically if she was getting hysterical yet.

The cat bore the poking and probing with a stiff dignity which I should feel inspired to assume at my next check at the gynecologist (where I will go without the cat).

I paid the vet with my rent money and in return received a tip for cat vitamins and an informed opinion that the cat wouldn’t die of it. Whether she won’t die of her eye problem or of the vitamin prescription remains unclear. I suppose it’s an irrelevant distinction, as long as she doesn’t die.

I liked the vet though. He’s a new guy, but he looked familiar, and I couldn’t quite remember why. Then it dawned on me. He looked just like my general practitioner. I wonder if I should be worried about the cat’s health or my own.

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Posted by Mara Eastern

I'm a sardonic blogger, snapper, scribbler and rhymer; a virtual space invader who indulges in cheerful negativism, morbid self-deprecation and bleak humour.

27 Comments

  1. Haha. I’m quite familiar with checking hysterically to see if the cat has yet become hysterical. It’s far more traumatizing for humans, isn’t it?

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    1. Good to hear that I’m not the only human who is far more desperate about vet visits than the cat! My cat is a darling, she didn’t give a damn and didn’t protest at all.

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      1. You’re lucky. Moe gets pretty worked up. It’s a half hour drive for us. If I can, I get someone else to drive so that I can keep him occupied. My last cat was even worse. It was always family event to get her to her doctor.

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  2. Ha ha! Ask if you can get a family discount if it’s the same bloke treating you both.

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    1. I’ll ask the next time I go to either the vet of the GP. I’m still mildly worried though. I mean, is there just one universal doctor now? If so, I could treat the cat and myself on my own, since I’m a doctor too. Of philosophy, but whatever.

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  3. HAHA! That cat is lovely! 😀

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    1. She’s my darling 🙂 And she was so good at the vet. I really should learn from her 😮

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      1. Haha! She’s truly a darling!

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  4. I’m surprised that you can be so humorous in a stressful cat situation. You are a true humorist. Rent money? I remortgaged my house a few years ago for my dog’s surgery. What we will do for the love of our pet children.

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    1. Yes, I make a point of finding something funny even about most tragic things. In this case, no need to worry, as I wrote, I was far more upset than the cat, who just didn’t care. I hope your dog is ok. Yes, the things we do…

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      1. My dog Sassy lived a healthy dog life for quite a few years. I’m glad I did all I could for her. Thanks.

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        1. Glad to hear that the surgery served its purpose. Even when you can’t stop your pet (or yourself!) from dying at the end, it’s a comfort to know you did your best.

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  5. LOL I can relate to this so much! My cat is scared in the car already, and I feel hysterical for his sake. It’s a mess. We go for pedicure.

    What’s wrong with you cat’s eye?

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    1. My cat has apparently minor tear duct blockage. Otherwise healthy and happy. Vet said basically it couldn’t be treated in cats, but assured me that it was no problem. I’m not terribly excited about the result, but since otherwise the cat is fine, I’ll probably take his word for it.

      My cat is discomfortingly calm, she let me pick her up and put her down as I pleased and just sat in her box and then on the examination table quietly. While I was freaking out.

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      1. McDuff stands still too, when I put him on the examination table, but that’s because he’s so terrified … and he leans up against me the whole time. I hate these trips, and soon it’ll be time for another one. The claws are getting longer …

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        1. Poor thing! What breed is McDuff? Does he have special special long and special sharp claws? I didn’t realise cats go for manicure…

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          1. I don’t know … he’s grey 🙂 The problem is that when the claws grow, they get ‘curled’ and grow into his pad. Must be very painful. Outdoor cats wouldn’t have that problem, and he refuses to use any kind of scratchboard …

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          2. Grey “breed” might just as well be the best 🙂 Poor thing, he is probably the only cat ever who doesn’t like to scratch, but he’s taken a good care of by you.

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          3. The Grey Breed is the best LOL

            Oh, he likes to scratch … just not on those bought scratch boards. He prefers the floorboards or my couch. Not so much nowadays, though … merely when he was younger, but the damage [to the couch] is already done so … what the hell. Nobody but us who’ll see it.

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          4. That was my chief worry when I was moving the cat from the garden in the flat, that she’d scratch the floorboards. My landlord is quite particular and I feared that if the cat damaged the floor, he’d make me pay for it being replaced. Fortunately, the damage to the flat has been minimal so far – though I doubt I’ll ever see my flat deposit – the blinds are a bit chewed and the inside door insulations are a bit scratched… But it’s a fair price for having a kitty at home 🙂

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  6. Lol! Maybe your GP is moonlighting as a vet – to earn his rent money 🙂

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    1. I do hope my GP is moonlighting as a vet and not the other way round, the vet moonlighting as a GP.

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  7. ha! Theo turns on the dramatics for every trip to the vet like it’s a life-and-death experience. Totally uncool.

    I am however very relieved that Theo’s vet and my GP bear absolutely no resemblance 🙂

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    1. Not all doctors are the same kind, after all, I’m a doctor too, but I’m not trying to cure either people or pets with my PhD 😉 At least you know your cat is a cat. I suspect my cat isn’t a cat because she hardly does any of the cat things. Like freaking out when she goes to the vet.

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      1. That’s because she hasn’t had a bad vet experience yet.
        A little over a year ago, Theo was very sick and spent the night in *emergency* with an IV. Ever since then, he has been VERY unhappy about going to the vet, even though they’ve been for routine checkups.
        Animals remember.

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        1. She has a bad vet experience from three years ago when I had her neutered – it was necessary as she was an outdoors cat. Strangely, she didn’t hate me for bringing her to the vet and she wasn’t particularly upset even when I took her for follow-up checkups. A precious cat…

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