What I Hated the Least Today 15/365: Cat


I hate my cat so little that I may be even said to love her. I know, what a shock. Actually, it was a feat of extreme self-control and self-denial to endure the first two weeks of my What I Hated the Least Today project without blogging about the cat.

Speaking of self-denial, yesterday I randomly glanced at my forearm and discovered that it was bleeding. As I washed the blood off, I found that my forearm was thickly covered in a number of slashes in different stages of healing. I didn’t recall I was cutting myself, but then I remembered I had a cat to do it for me.

So as not to look like a failed suicide, I determined to skip my evening ritual with the cat. I call it endearingly patty caking, while it actually consists of me reaching my arm down from the bed for the cat to attack before I go to sleep. Hence the assorted scratches on my forearm.

Today, I patted the cat nite-nite and retired to bed, hiding all my limbs under the blanket. The cat, who wasn’t listening when I informed her that our patty-caking routine was cancelled, was sitting at the head of the bed, waiting. She lingered for a while, and when no arm to bite into appeared, she twitched her tail and went away, disgusted.

I thought she took it quite well. But it messed up with her habits. In the morning, she was indeed waiting for me to get out of the bed as she does, but she was waiting at the wrong end of the bed. I believe she was confused. Or just lazy to take the extra three steps to the right end of the bed. In any case, now I need to create new, less invasive rituals for the two of us.


Author: Mara Eastern

I'm a sardonic blogger, snapper, scribbler and rhymer; a virtual space invader who indulges in cheerful negativism, morbid self-deprecation and bleak humour.

15 thoughts

  1. Heh! I’m still holding off, writing about the cat 🙂
    They’re so funny, with their rituals! McDuff acts like a sheep-dog; he ‘herds’ us to bed. They don’t seem to understand it hurts when they do that clawing …

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Maybe you’ll blog about your McDuff today or tomorrow 😉 With a plenty of pictures! The cat and I get along great because we’re both ritual junkies. Except the cat is also a clawing junkie. I don’t think she knows that she can retract her claws so as not to murder her human.


      1. He’ll have to wait, until I get really desperate for subjects 🙂 Sometimes I think he DOES understand about the claws; When I sit here [at my computer desk] too late at night, and he thinks it’s time to go to bed, he stretches up to the armrest on the chair and touches my arm with his paw. When he does that, he’s SO careful and delicate with the paw … no claws. Also, if I’m sitting on the couch and he wants to get up on my lap, he checks first, because if it’s summertime, and I’m wearing shorts, he doesn’t do it. It seems he doesn’t want to step on the bare skin.


        1. Ooh, how sweet! My cat also does the stretching up to my chair thing, but not because she wants me to go to bed but because she feels neglected. (Neglected! My cat! Phew.) She mock-attacks my legs when she feels playful, she just touches me and runs; but when she gets at my hands and arms, she would eat me alive. The monster. (And yes, I tried feeding her.)


  2. I had a cat that dribbled when it purred. I don’t mean just a few drops. I mean it flowed out like an open tap! I had to have a towel on my lap, lol. Who here, I ask, is the mistress ?


  3. Theo and I have a few rituals too – one involving making the bed in the morning. When I start making the bed, he appears out of nowhere to play.
    He gets to attack my hands and arms smoothing the sheets under the blanket. Yes – I have to keep my hands under the blanket so I don’t get scratched up during his attacks. Most of the time he remembers to play gently, but the more excited he gets, the higher the risk to me 🙂


    1. I love it that you also have rituals with your cat! I think cat bonding is important 🙂 My cat either doesn’t play at all or she plays hard. She’s however very much into repetitive rituals – I was administering her eyedrops twice a day for two weeks recently and always gave her a treat after that. Now we’re done with the eyedrops but she still seems to demand her treats at the usual morning and evening time…


        1. My cat is selectively smart. She knows my daily schedule and she knows where she fits in; but she hasn’t figured out yet that anytime she plays with the blinds, she inevitably gets stuck in there and I have to disentangle her. She keeps on doing that anyway.

          Liked by 1 person

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