What I Hated the Least Today 10/365: “Mindfulness”


Author: Mara Eastern

I'm a sardonic blogger, snapper, scribbler and rhymer; a virtual space invader who indulges in cheerful negativism, morbid self-deprecation and bleak humour.

38 thoughts

  1. Well done, you! Tranced out seems pretty close to zen to me. I was once told that I was too tense to be successful at yoga and I needed to relax in order to be stable in the poses. And I was thinking relaxed was the end state or what was the purpose? Of course, this guidance was being dispensed by a colleague whose testicle was sticking out of his too short shorts so I’m not sure his was the best advice to follow anyway.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Your story is as hilarious as it’s discomforting πŸ˜‰ Your colleague clearly wasn’t mindful when he didn’t mind his testicle. Now I’ll have trouble getting the mental image of him out of my head.

      I’m a tense person too and mindful meditation doesn’t work for me. It bores me to death. But I have to admit that yoga is good for relieving the various little pains one has when sitting in front of the computer all day.

      Liked by 1 person

          1. LOL Yes, me too. I feel truly sorry for all the ones suffering from celiac but how big percentage of the population could that possibly _be_?! It looks like gluten would be bad for ALL of us. It isn’t …


  2. You’re so funny, Mara. The description of your favorite poses were hilarious, but what made me really see your funny, generational side is the last line of your post. Keep the yoga up. If your body is limber enough, why not. Find your own music. Have you tried the nature sounds of birds tweeting and brooks gurgling. Ha ha!


    1. I’m happy to amuse πŸ˜€ I’m the most unfit person ever, but I’m moderately flexible, so beginner yoga works well for me. But no nature sounds please, I did try that, but I found it annoying 😦 I’m a city lover… I know, I’m weird.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. My attention span is worse than the woman in the video when it comes to yoga. I stopped trying long ago. I do meditate though, and those damn e-mail pings pull me out of it almost every time.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My attention span is the same as my cat’s. About five seconds. It’s the very opposite with me, I can’t do meditation because I’d bore myself to death, but I can do yoga as long as there is some variety and some movement. The only meditation I liked was the video of F*ck That, a Guided Meditation that you posted some time ago. I loved that, actually.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I think these days my goal will be old man on the porch staring at the passing cars and people meditation technique. Kinda close to the cat meditation in the video. πŸ™‚

    The last video was hilarious.


      1. πŸ™‚ I have a memory of some scene from a movie out in some near ghost town, some old man sitting on the porch while a slapstick “it’s a mad, mad, mad world” scenario plays out, and he so nonplussed about it.


  5. What made me laugh out loud at the end was the ‘namaste’. hahahahaha! So not you! πŸ˜€
    … and Laura’s comment. hahahahahaha! I think that visual is going to have me giggling for a while πŸ˜‰


    1. Fortunately, I don’t speak sanskrit, so when I say namaste, I don’t really know what that means. I’m innocent of the crime of being zen. Ha. Laura’s comment is making me think of testicles anytime I sit on the mat with my legs crossed.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Anti-zen, you had me at anti-zen. Love it. Thank you Laura, there are times when being able to visualise a situation really does not pay πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


    1. It’s more rewarding than mindfulness to see that my little post brought you some pleasure πŸ™‚ And now we’ll all need to recover from Laura imprinting the scary yogi image on our minds…


  7. I don’t know enough about Yoga to have been sure you were having a little fun with this post, until the end. I mean, undead corpse pose:I held that pose for hours, or at least until somebody made coffee–pretty much every Sunday morning– through most of my twenties. For a moment there, I just assumed I was a natural. But, thanks to this blog I now know that If I ever try yoga–which would mean surviving the onslaught of flying pigs–I’ll wear a jockstrap. And sweat pants. Still leaves me worrying about plumber’s butt (could be a pose: outward plumber’s butt).The second video is awesome. I didn’t watch the first one, because of the cute cat–I’ve got a cute cat right here, always bitching at me to open the door, close the door, fill the food bowl, fill the water bowl, clean up the flipped over water bowl, fill the water bowl, open the door….


    1. Haha πŸ˜€ Your suspicion is correct, I was having my fun with names of the yoga poses: it’s actual poses but spiced up a little. The corpse is my favourite pose, I, too, practise it every day. It looks precisely what you think it does – you like down on your back and don’t move… I’m sorry to hear that your cat is jealous of other cats, mine, fortunately, is only jealous when I’m on the phone with other humans. Finally, I’ll see if I can introduce the plumber’s butt pose into yoga πŸ˜‰


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