Fun with Marriage, Divorce and Appearances

Fun with Marriage, Divorce and Appearances

Circumstances had it that I ended up announcing to my husband that I was leaving him a day before the New Year’s Eve. This not very nice timing was possibly my revenge to the mankind (as opposed to womankind) which I subliminally sought since I was abandoned by a boyfriend fifteen years ago precisely on the New Year’s Eve. The bl00dy b@st@rd of a boyfriend had it premeditated. I didn’t.

The husband didn’t welcome the news, but found it hysterically hilarious, as blogged about here. Further blackly comic situations arose from our mutual agreement that the family won’t be notified until absolutely inevitable. There was Hogmanay, several friend visits and a family theatre visit ahead. I had little trouble keeping appearances because that’s what I’d been largely doing these last years. My opponent and accomplice was however coping poorly, as if he had just learned that his wife couldn’t bear living with him any longer.

The first thing in the New Year my in-laws visited, uninvited, and brought along my nephew, who was even less invited than them. The five-year-old kid scares the kittens out of me, as elaborated on here. (I know there are no kittens in the original idiom, but I need kitty cuteness to counterbalance the nephew’s nastiness.) This time the tiny terrorist scared the puppies out of my husband, as he (nephew) grew inexplicably fond of our (husband and mine) wedding video and insisted on playing it on the loop during the visit.

Until death or divorce do us part
Until death or divorce do us part

Turning his back on the video, the husband gave the impression of a tortured soul, though I know fine that debt collectors don’t have souls. Re-watching the video with curiosity, I was morbidly amused because as is known, crazy cat ladies don’t have feelings besides for their cats. I noticed with a tinge of self-envy not as much that I seemed happy, which I admittedly did, but rather that I was a bonnie lassie. Bonny and bony too. I don’t want the years back, but I could do with the figure. Devil? Anyone? Where do I sign?

The trip to the theatre, a Christmas gift experience for my mother, turned out to be more of a challenge when I discovered that the play was a dark divorce comedy. I had previously checked with the soon-to-be-divorced husband whether he was sure he wanted to attend, and he insisted. Now I insensitively concluded that the details of the programme didn’t need to be shared and decided to perform a psychosocial experiment instead. The things we do for science. You are free to hang me now and call me Doctor Mengele. Or not.

The husband enjoyed the play, as did my mother and I. In a strikingly good humour, he observed that the piece was about life and that the lead actress looked very good in her form-fitting costume. I grumbled in response to his about-life phrase, which is a cliché he uses ten times a day, but agreed that the actress certainly had a good ass. The grounds for divorce in the play was the wife’s coming out as gay, and now I’m sure that my soon-to-be-former husband thinks that’s what I am. Divorce is proving to be much more fun than its vilifying publicity suggests. Seriously.

21 thoughts on “Fun with Marriage, Divorce and Appearances

    1. Thank you for your support, Laura! All is fine now, more than fine, this was a post scheduled a bit in advance and the current situation sees me settled in my new home with the family already informed and trying to reconcile with the news. A huge relief for everyone, I think!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Mara, I’m sorry that you’re going through such an uncomfortable situation right now and at the same time I admire you for having the guts to fight for your personal happiness. I wish you good luck and all the best in this new chapter. Although I know nothing about marriage, I know it pays off to fight for what we really want. Who knows, maybe you will end up living in your beloved Scotland now that your situation has changed? Be strong and keep up the humor! 🙂

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    1. Oh, thank you very much for your kind words! It’s amazing, your support means a lot to me — actually it’s been you, fellow bloggers. who have been helping me the most through this hard period. It’s largely over now for me, though, I’m happily settled in a new home and enjoying myself more than ever 🙂 You are right, precisely, I have a plenty of new interesting prospects now and I’m glad that that I decided as I did.

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  2. I’m so glad you’re on your way and I hope the new place is good. It sounds like you’re mostly enjoying yourself, and that’s really the main thing. I hope your family can digest the news well and realise that you’re happier now x.

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    1. Thank you very much for your kind and encouraging words! Yes, all is very well with me now, and it’s such a relief! Now I’m excited to catch up with you and see what you all have been up to when I wasn’t looking!

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    1. You have a point. The decision was long overdue; and unlike in Frost’s poem about the road diverging in a woods, I’m quite sure I won’t regret my decision later. Thank you for your kind comment!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Sorry to barge in, I decided to revisit your blog on a whim and came across your divorce posts. I had a somewhat similarly Winter Holiday themed divorce (well, separation, technically) story a few years back. My ex and I had to put on game faces for Christmas at her folks and for New Years with her friends, which, weirdly, both went well. In the long run we’re both happier so I wish you the same 🙂

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    1. You’re welcome to barge in any time! And thank you very much for sharing your story — it’s actually encouraging to see that my experience wasn’t that unique. And it went surprisingly well on my end too, I do believe my soon-to-be-ex-husband and I will be better separate. I already am, however horrible that sounds 🙂 Thank you for your well wishes, and all the best to you!

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  4. It is so much fun and a weight off your shoulders when you realize you not only can exist without the other person, but will thrive. As traumatic as it can be, there is definite humor, and I appreciate you bringing that to light.

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    1. Thank you very much, Josh, for your lovely and insightful comment. Yes, you are very right, I’m much relieved and completely at peace. The only thing I regret is that it took me so long to end a marriage that hadn’t been working for ages…

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