Stream of Consciousness Alert

Writing 101, WordPress’s latest blogging challenge, promised to offer task a day with an optional twist; so you can do the task and not the twist, or you can do the twist and not the task; but the very first task is to do free writing for twenty minutes (come on, my attention span doesn’t even cover twenty minutes, let alone writing for twenty minutes), and the twist is to publish the gutter of your consciousness (sorry, I mean the stream of your consciousness); and how am I supposed to do the twist (to publish) unless I do the task (to write), huh, but OK, the task, yes

I never loved free writing, and I always tell my Academic Writing students that this is a fancy pants North American method they’re welcome to use; but if you’ve come through Eastern European schooling, you’re unlikely to get anywhere with free writing, of which this very sample of free writing is a proof, yes

This free writing torture (sorry, I mean task) aims to releasing your writing energy (how very Zen) and exposing the creative corners of your mind; except the corners of my mind are very dark and gloomy and contain nuts and cats, yes

Which reminds me the other day I cuddled my cat, looked at her and told her, Elise, you look like Kittycat (pronounced kittycut), and I shall call thee Kittycat, and my cat said, Meow; and I can call her whatever I fancy, I could call her Belize instead of Elise (which is her name) and she wouldn’t give a damn (a meow); she comes to me in response to the sound of my voice, not in response to me calling her name, no, I mean, yes

2014-05-31-prague-black-cat
Catseeing beats sightseeing

As to traces of nuts in my brains, BRB; you know what I thought the abbreviation BRB means?; you don’t, I’ll tell you; I thought it was an onomatopoeic sound expressing grumbling, so when you say BRBBRBRB, it means that you grumble, not that you be right back; also LOL, it’s laughing out loud, but I thought it meant something like BRB; precisely, I thought it was an onomatopoeic sound suggesting that you’re off to pee; sorry, that’s seriously what I thought, yes

BRB, I need to LOL, yes

These are the discontents of my mind, and I see that publishing this is a real twist, as the task would have it; at least you see I wasn’t cheating, I was free writing; I can’t believe I conceded to do so, it’s a betrayal of my non-free writing principles; but no, it’s not; see, it’s really a proof that free writing doesn’t work for me, no, I mean yes

If you wonder why I conclude each paragraph with yes; it’s, yes, because I know no better than to plagiarise James Joyce, whose Ulysses I haven’t read (I have better things to spend the rest of my life with than to read another person’s stream of consciousness; which is another proof that free writing and publishing the gibberish makes no sense; people have better things to do, like watching Kittycat Youtube videos); but this Ulysses allegedly ends with an affirmative yes, yes

BTW, by the way (which, by the way, I thought was an abbreviation for between rather than by the way), my twenty minutes are almost over, yay!, I mean, yes; and so I only attach a picture of Not-Kittycat but a random cat, which is what I liked most about my recent trip to Prague; not the city, but the poor dear stray cat who’s not a kittycat, not at all, no, yes

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Author: Mara Eastern

I'm a sardonic blogger, snapper, scribbler and rhymer; a virtual space invader who indulges in cheerful negativism, morbid self-deprecation and bleak humour.

41 thoughts

  1. haha lol omg….that was like me going in your brain, hearing your disgust at having to write and the ramblings that were trying to get through it as fast as possible you poor dear you probably need a kittycat cuddle now x

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    1. I’m sorry that you had to walk through the valley of death, I mean, my brains… I do need a Kittycat cuddle right now, you’re right! But still, thanks a lot for reading, I thought no one would read this, just random scary scribblings of a deranged mind 😮

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  2. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this post! I like the stream of consciousness and yours was easier to follow,compared to Woolf’s! Your stream of consciousness was perfectly executed,with the violent switch of thoughts and the spontaneous use of brackets.

    An effective stream of conciousness doesn’t take much time to follow and it was the case with your flow of thoughts.In a matter of less than 5 minutes,I was already at the end of the post! And the little trifles which are the abbr of Lol and BRB, and how you call your cat are very funny! Haha. 🙂

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    1. Oh, thank you, that’s a real surprise to me that this experiment worked! Or maybe the experiment didn’t work but you’re too good a reader, so you could penetrate into my mind easily… As always, thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts, LOL 😉 BTW, I’m glad that I’m easier to read than Virginia Woolf 😀

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  3. This is too damn good! You had me laughing the whole time, especially those sarcastic thoughts parentheses.

    BTW, I get what you meant with the ‘BTW’. I guess we naturally tend to decipher abbreviations by syllables rather than disparate words.

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    1. Oh thanks, likewise! We seem to have a similar writing style, which is probably why I enjoyed your post the most of those I’ve read so far from other 101 people. But shhh, don’t tell 😉 Looking forward to seeing you around in Class!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. This was a fun read! I picture my own stream of consciousness to be just wild and probably a lot messier than yours. I should give that free writing exercise another go, and this time without it cooking in my head for more than a day.

    Oh, and Elise or Belize (whichever you or your lovely feline prefer) is a beautiful name. Good choice!

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    1. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts! If you like, you totally should give the actual free writing without preparation a thought! You see how sceptical I was about it, but at the end I loved the exercise 😀 I’ll give your regards to my cat, whatever I’ll be calling her then…

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  5. Brilliant. Took me a few minutes to realise that you were doing the task, not just ranting about it! I guess I’ll have to do mine now… completely forgot that I’d signed up!

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    1. Haha, thanks for you comment 😀 Yes, I decided to do the task by ranting about it and kill two birds with one stone, as the morbid saying goes 🙂 Looking forward to seeing you in 101 Class!

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        1. OK, your post is my new favourite, it’s awesome! Strangely (or maybe naturally) I was doing the same as you: wondering about spelling, shifting on my chair and checking the time… But the result was worth it!

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          1. I just can’t help it! I can never type constantly without readjusting myself after every paragraph, or even sentence. And the best inspiration is often the things around you, so usually when I look at the clock it’s so I can write that I’ve done it, and maybe get more inspiration on what to write about, haha!

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  6. Oh you reminded me with those BRB and LOL about mine missconception about some of them (I can’t remember which one) Well… that’s a proof we are not American, shoot!
    And also, one time I read that someone’s mother meant that LOL was Lots Of Love and she texted to everyone “Aunt just died, LOL”
    I laughed so hard and of course now I use LOL as lots of love 😉

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    1. LOL (as laughing out loud), I’ve also come across the mother’s mistake with the meaning of LOL and the tragicomic funeral story that goes with it… One doesn’t know if to laugh or cry… Well, so LOL (as lots of love) and thanks for your support!

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    1. Thanks for stopping by and reading my rant! Nothing happens if you ignored the task, but you see how sceptic I was about it and how well it turned out after all! So maybe you’ll revisit the task when you feel like it 😉

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    1. Haha 😀 That’s good, you’re right that it’s particularly challenging to free-write for us who are non-native English speakers. I learned English mostly from Victorian novels, so I may use complicated words sometimes. 😮

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  7. My thoughts these days would probably just require me to hit the space bar rather a lot so I think you did rather well with the assignment. It was good practice in cynicism if nothing else. I actually happen to be the only person I know who genuinely loves ‘Ulysses’. It’s not as great as ‘Dubliners’ in my opinion but is much more engaging than ‘Portrait of the Artist’. I gave up on ‘Finnegan’s Wake’ though as I could feel my life force ebbing away with every word I read. I think I abandoned it on the second page twice.

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    1. Hitting the space bar and hitting random keys occurred to me too. I was quite surprised that I managed to write relatively coherent sentences after all. Yes, a good exercise in cynicism, that’s very like me, now I see that you saw me through 😉

      It’s admirable that you love Ulysses. I enjoyed The Dubliners, but Joyce is apparently not quite my cup of tea 😦 Boo, our literary tastes are probably different. I have nothing to say about Finnegan’s Wake, I just tried reading a sample paragraph, but this didn’t work at all. Not at all.

      By the way, do you ever read for pleasure? Because I don’t any more, so I’m wondering about other people in similar professions like mine…

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      1. I rarely read just for me when I was teaching. I just did not have time beyond reading what I had to plus contextual reading and studying. I used to cram as much fun reading as possible into the summer break.

        I do still make time to read now though and I entirely read for pleasure these days as I am a Stay Home Parent with no compelling reason to read things I do not enjoy or which don’t engage me. My me time is quite sparse and, therefore, precious so if a book doesn’t grab me or seem to be growing on me then I chuck it and move on to something else. Since I taught a lot of classical, canon literature, I find I read a lot of contemporary fiction these days. I don’t read junk or pulp stuff because that just doesn’t engage me but nowadays I can engage with and enjoy what are definitely lighter texts than I once read. I also read a lot of non-fiction. It’s been a while since I last read a play or volume of poetry I had not read before so I guess I’m out of the habit of doing that.

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        1. Wow, thanks so much for your exhaustive answer! It fully satisfied my curiosity and made me feel better too. Thank you again! You very much inspired me to try to read more 🙂

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          1. Heh 😀 I have the same issue, if issue it is. I suspect it would be a teacher’s problem: you want to be precise and make sure that the message gets across.

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          2. My students used to count how many synonyms I would use in a single instruction. It was my way of drilling the message into them but I like to think it also help expand their vocabulary.

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  8. I love the stray kitty! But I wasn’t sure I was on the right blog, there were way to many YES’s in the post. I can’t believe you and Justine are now doing a writing challenge… are you a glutton for punishment? 😀

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    1. Ha! You made me laugh — and also think. So it shows that I’m a rather negative person in fact? I thought I was hiding it well! I don’t want to beat you with my negativism, you know.

      Oh yes, Justine likes kinky things, and she threatened to spank me the other day, so I figured I’d go for Writing 101 rather than the spanking as a punishment. Wrong choice? 😉

      Like

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